When I was very young, I read a story about a young adventurer. He finds an old lamp, and as he rubs it, to make it shine, a spirit appears from the spout, in the form of smoke. This takes form, and declares that it is the Genie of the Lamp, and that it will grant the finder three wishes. This fascinated me at the time, and I often considered what three wishes I would have chosen, had I been the lucky lad. More than 50 years later, I know that Genies do not exist, and that it is an Arabian folk tale, which later became a swashbuckling story embellished by Hollywood. None the less, I still have my three wishes ready, just in case.
Wish 1 would be to have a lot of money, say £100,000,000. This would mean that my latter years would be lived free from financial concern. My wife would be able to stop working, and all our family and friends would be well looked after too. Nothing unusual in that one. A bit greedy perhaps, but I am considering inflation.
Wish 2 would have to be that poverty and famine were eradicated in The World. I know this is technically two wishes, so I would have to be careful how I phrased it. Genies are known to be cunning after all, and I wouldn’t want to lose my third wish. It is also a bit worthy, though I do feel that in that situation, you are duty bound to do at least one selfless thing.
Wish 3 would be the achievement of a lifelong, personal ambition. The eradication of most flying insects. I say most, not all, as I would have to be careful not to lose the necessary ones, like Bees, and Ladybirds. If this meant that contingency plans would have to be put into place to feed some birds, frogs, lizards, etc; then so be it. I already put out nuts, fat balls and meal worms, as well as throwing old bread onto the lawn. Others could do the same to keep the animals that they like. When requesting this wish from the Genie, it would be complex in its wording, to still only be one wish, but I would give it my best shot. I would not include crawling insects, like beetles, though many do have the capacity to fly. They tend to be easy to kill, when necessary, and rarely invade your home. Imagine, no more Malaria, no swarms of locusts, and just as importantly to me, no flies on my dinner.
I feel as if I have spent at least a third of my many Summers, trying to kill insects. I say trying, because though I have managed to kill many thousands, most have escaped me. I have armed myself with all known weaponry used in Man’s fight against the flying pests. The rolled-up newspaper, the undersides of slippers or shoes, aerosol sprays, tennis rackets, table tennis bats, even lumps of wood. If unsuccessful swatting was a sport, I would be a household name.
I have recently invested in a selection of electronic fly bats. For those of you that have never seen one of these, they resemble a squash racket. Two batteries are inserted in the handle, a button depressed, and the wire mesh becomes electrified. My strike rate with this type of weapon is not a great deal better. However, the satisfaction element is beyond compare. Once trapped in the mesh, the insect is electrocuted. It sparks, smokes, and eventually dies, recalling the electric chair scene from ‘The Green Mile’, but in miniature.
Some people do not seemed to be bothered by flies landing on their food, or their bodies. I am. These filthy disease carriers have no place in my World. Moving from London to the countryside has increased my contact with flies. In the city, they can gorge themselves on discarded rubbish, half-eaten junk food, and other deposits left by drunks, or dogs. They just couldn’t be bothered to drag their full bellies up three floors to the windows of my flat. No need, as the next pile of kebab residue was only a short crawl away. In my present house, open windows and a door to the garden seem to be considered an invitation to come in and enjoy themselves. Getting a dog didn’t really help. His alfresco toilet habits, and his uneaten dog food, are all haute cuisine to the flying legions of filth.
Wasps also appear to have no purpose, save crawling around on cakes in a Baker’s window, or trying to get into your drink, if you are foolish enough to want to drink outside, in good weather. They buzz, they pester, and worst of all, they deliver a painful sting. As for blood-sucking insects, midges, gnats, and mosquitoes, they seem to all carry a photo of me, headed ‘Most Wanted’.
I have suffered all my life from reactions to bites and stings, as I outlined in a previous post. To imagine a World free of all this, is to me, to dream of Paradise.
So there you have it. I have got my obscene amount of money. All my friends and family are happy. The Peoples of the World no longer die prematurely, or want for food, and I can have a picnic in the park without being unduly bothered. Except for the ants…
I think you should never visit Africa. You would not like it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have been to Kenya, Tanzania, Egypt, and Morocco. I didn’t get bitten once, but I did have a bad stomach there, except in Kenya. I saw some legendary huge spiders in Kenya too, but they were apparently harmless. I didn’t wait to find out. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLike
Most ‘Three Wishes ‘stories have the character who wished having to use the last wish to undo the unintended consequences of the first two. I think you might need birth control or another planet for all the extra people.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, Julie. I suppose the Aladdin story is the definitive ‘be careful what you wish for’ fable. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLike
We all had those grand wishes when we were young. Some may come true, some may not but they spice to our lives.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I often used to imagine getting those three wishes, Arlene. They changed a little as I got older of course. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree with you on the insects only let the bees remain I do like honey…..chuq
LikeLiked by 1 person
We need the pollinators, just not the biters and muck-spreaders. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True that……..besides the honey is amazing stuff….chuq
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a wonderul story. Well worth to got reposted. I had a lot of laughter reading the inclluded insects part. Lol Thank you, Michael
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Michael. Biting insects think I am an ‘all-inclusive buffet’! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true, Pete! I hate them too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well done, Pete. Glad you gave this post a second chance. I think the eradication of “bad” flying insects is a worthy wish, but flies do help with the clean up of dead things.They are filthy vermin, no doubt.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Pam. I would be happy to find an alternative solution to clearing up dead things, if we could get rid of flies. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fun – happy to hear that if I never get an op to ask a genie for anything, when you get your op, you’ll be ready and it will benefit me, too!
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Laura.
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I spent a great deal of time imagining how I would use three wishes. Can’t remember any now. I agree with you about fleas, ticks, mosquitoes and house flies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad to hear you agree with that wish, Elizabeth. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Be careful what you wish for, Pete – remember ‘The Monkey’s Paw??
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, that paw has always haunted me, Sue. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My first wish would be to have as many wishes as I want!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m only guessing, but I reckon the genie would be wise to that one, GP. Probably ‘not allowed’. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 2 people
He should have told me the rules beforehand! You’ve got a cheatin’ Genie there, Pete! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s ‘my’ genie, GP. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Considering inflation, you may think about adding a dozen more zeros to your first wish. And yes, Genies can be tricky in how they “hear” your wording. That third wish is a bit of a problem as flying insects form a vital part in the food chain–much like plankton in the seas, some are the equivalent in fresh water and even dry environments. Besides, I would miss the wonder of butterflies, lightning bugs and dragonflies. Warmest regards, Theo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those you mention would not be included, Theo. Only the disease-carriers (like houseflies), and the ‘biters’. 🙂 (It would be a very tricky wish)
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tricky, indeed (careful or you will wipe out bar flies 🙂 ) Warmest regards, Theo
LikeLiked by 1 person
I read it Pete and liked and am also commenting for good measure! As far as your 3 wishes go, the money I understand and eliminating poverty and hunger too. But I was surprised to see flying insects made your list. They’re not much of a problem here though after your very vivid descriptions I can see your point! I don’t know what I would wish for but it might include people and animals having good places to live. 🙂 Maybe that’s two wishes – those genies can be tricky!
LikeLiked by 1 person
If you wished for people having good places to live, and those people had animals, then the animals would be living somewhere nice. You could fool that genie! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
One thing I really appreciate about the desert is the relative scarcity of insects, flying or otherwise.
Who needs three wishes? You only need one to ensure an endless supply of others.
“Genie, I wish you were my slave forever, and that you have no choice but to obey my every command!”
LikeLiked by 2 people
You should have mentioned that to Aladdin, David. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on beetleypete and commented:
Three wishes. What would you wish for?This ‘seasonal’ post from 2012 has never had one ‘like’ or comment, and as far as I know, has never been read.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, we can’t have that now, can we? So, consider this post read, liked, and commented on 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks very much, Nicholas. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person