More ‘Expert’ twaddle

By way of an intermission in my current Musical A-Z, I had cause to once again consider the information provided by ‘experts’ today.

I caught the news at 12:30. Just after, the weatherman appeared. Mature, benign, and smilingly confident. He waved his hand around a back-projected map of Britain for a while, before making this definite statement. ” Once the cloud clears from the east, counties like Norfolk* can expect a sunny afternoon, with temperatures close to the seasonal norm, around 21 degrees.” That was music to my ears.
(* Where I live)

I informed Ollie that we would be going out early for our walk, to enjoy that seasonal warmth of around 70 F, and the sun that would accompany it. No need to lug an umbrella around, or to wear uncomfortable waterproofs. We set off at 12:45, ignoring the grey skies that I had been reliably informed would soon be a thing of the past. Ten minutes later, and I felt a heavy raindrop hit the back of my hand.

What followed was no light summer shower. This was heavy rain, serious in its intent to soak us. I was soon wet through, and not long after that, sodden. I could only stand it for 70 minutes, driven on by the need to get exercise for Ollie, but uncomfortable in wet clothes, and unable to see through the water running down my face. I got home, and discarded all the wet gear. Even the boxer shorts had to come off.

I then had time to ponder on the nonsense that is weather forecasting. So, BBC, how can you get it so wrong, so often? How useless does a weather forecaster have to be, before he or she is just told to leave? Can you imagine a restaurant that served the wrong food five times out of six? Or a car mechanic who repaired the wrong part every time? Or perhaps a doctor who operated on the wrong person, at least four times a week? How long would they all last? Not long, we know the answer to that.

But inaccurate guesswork, posing as so-called weather-forecasting has been tolerated for my lifetime. These people, who cannot patently tell their own arses from their elbows, parade on to our screens every day, and tell us what is going to be happening. They use scientific charts, serious-looking maps, and lots of technical terms. They even call themselves meteorologists. Experts, undoubtedly. Buffoons, undeniably. When they go back to their colleagues in the office, or staff room, they must really piss themselves laughing at how seriously we take their expert predictions. Waving their hands in front of a map, and saying the first thing that comes into their heads.

I would like to get them all, and tie them to a post in the middle of Hoe Rough. Let them experience the reality of their expert predictions for once.

And I have a suggestion for the BBC. Instead of these expensive ‘experts’, just put a card up on the screen, with two words on it. NO IDEA.

45 thoughts on “More ‘Expert’ twaddle

  1. Pete, I got a kick out of this, and shared it on Twitter. Here in Southern Nevada, you can just forecast sunshine and be right the vast majority of the time. It’s not a big challenge to be a meteorologist here. We are more interested in whether or not it’s going to be windy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Misery loves company, and it is just as bad in America. My husband often says he wants to come back in a second life as a weather forecaster; he would never have to worry about loosing his job due to getting it wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have a weather rock that is more accurate, I have renamed the weather people, they are now weather guessers. That’s as close as they seem to get. They may as well stand there and declare “Today, we have a 100% chance of weather”.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well they got it right for me today, bit of cloud,(yep) bit of sun,(yep) temps 20C (it was) maybe a shower (it didn’t) north westerly wind, (there was) and clouds gathering this evening (they are). BBC North obviously has a better class of forecasters ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I completely understand your position about the “Expert” weather forecasting. We have the same thing here in The United States. Millions of dollars worth of special computers and radar screens everywhere and people with college degrees in Meterology and still they only have a very low hit rate for accuracy. I have resolved the issue by reverting the the old methodology used by the old-time radio weather forecasters in the area where I live …. I stick my hand out the nearest available open window and I look at the sky. If it is the slightest tinge of gray then I know there is going to be a repeat of katrina …. If it is solid blue from horizon to horizon and there isn’t a cloud in the sky then I know for sure that I have at maximums a 90-percent chance of encoutering a rogue storm of some kind.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pete, my weather forecast for the next ten days is “high of 84, low of 65 – sun” – it never changes, so when there is any sort of weather coming in from the Pacific Ocean, they act like it’s a major breaking news alert – because no one in Southern California knows how to drive in the rain – sorry your walk was a wet disaster, you were given what’s known in the US now as “fake news!”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I suppose it must be different to live somewhere where the weather never really changes. I have never been to your part of the world, John, but when I see the smog on TV, lying over that city, I wonder if I am not better off with wet shorts! ๐Ÿ™‚
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. “Weatherman detect a red-hot plume of frustration in Norfolk” I recently read “Issac’s Storm” by Erik Larson, about the hurricane in 1900 that wiped out Galveston, Texas, and the weathermen who reassured the residents, not to worry, right before ten thousand of them got drowned in the Gulf of Mexico. I keep reading that the weather may be getting more erratic and extreme, but of course, those are some of the same experts talking!

    Liked by 1 person

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