I have started to say it already. I caught myself doing it the other day. Putting off something that I really should be arranging or doing, and using one of those eternal excuses that I have in my repertoire. I will do that ‘After Christmas’. I vary this by sometimes saying, ‘When we have got Christmas over with’, or ‘Once Christmas is out the way’, but the intention is always to delay, using what I have long considered to be a solid excuse.
Since my teens, I have made good use of seasonal events to assist my compulsive procrastination. The summer provides one of the best. ‘When we come back from holiday’. That traditional two-week break was very useful indeed, as I could look months ahead, and not do something until I had returned from a couple of weeks in Greece, Turkey, or any other foreign destination. Of course, once I was home, I could then throw in my secondary armament with a pledge to do it ‘After Christmas’. If things worked out, I never had to do whatever it was at all.
I might even use the ‘marginals’, those things that don’t really qualify as natural stumbling blocks. ‘I will do that after Easter’ was a good one. I don’t even celebrate Easter, and even if I did, it’s just one weekend. Even more clutching at straws came with ‘After my birthday’. I could use that single day in March to avoid doing so many things. All it took was a lifetime of practice.
But now it is almost November, so I can dust off the ‘Big One’. Christmas. I don’t even like Christmas, but it is the longest-running festival, and one that most people seem to readily agree is an excuse to delay something. For some reason, ‘After Christmas’ is a socially-acceptable reason for putting off almost anything you can name.
All I have to do after that, is to wait until it isn’t too early to blame my birthday.