I don’t wake up every morning thinking ‘What can I complain about today?’, I assure you. But given the amount of griping I get through in an average year, you might be forgiven for thinking I do just that. I blame the weather of course. I’m sure if I didn’t live in the English county of Atlantis, I might be a lot happier, and less inclined to bang on about things.
“So what is rattling your chain, Pete?” I hear you cry.
The ongoing issue of dog poo continues to irritate. So many people are not picking up after their dogs these days, they are getting the rest of us a bad name. Poo bags are exceptionally cheap, so there is no excuse not to take any on your dog walks. Yes, I know grabbing a pile of warm poo through a reversed bag is a far from pleasant task. But tell me, when you got your dog, did you expect it to shit nice dry owl pellets? I think not. Stop leaving your dog crap where people can step in it, and then glare at me and Ollie as if it is our fault.
Plastic water bottles. Let’s face it, I hate them. They are everywhere. Here’s a newsflash for all you bottled water drinkers too. Most of it comes from out of a tap in the factory. Get a reusable one, save the oceans, and whatever else is being poisoned by your drinking habits. And what is it with standing your empty bottle on top of the waste bin? Is that a statement? You are too cool to actually put it in the slot two inches lower down, and want everyone to know that. Another newsflash. It is not cool at all. Alan Delon was cool. Steve McQueen was cool. I bet neither of those guys ever stood their empty bottles of anything on top of a waste bin. So grow up!
Talking about growing up, what’s with grown men playing with noisy drone toys? Not the big drones that take photos of industrial sites, or search for lost people. No, the cheap as chips buzzy things that are bought for next to nothing at Aldi, then so badly handled in public places they look as if they might suddenly drop and take my eye out. They are supposed to be toys, so go and play with them in you own gardens. Please. (I asked nicely)
Only three moans? Of course not. There are more.
Why do people move to a quiet village in the countryside that has no street lighting, if they don’t like the dark? I know, why don’t you move somewhere peaceful and quiet, then install floodlights around your house that would easily illuminate a WW2 prisoner of war camp? Then leave them on all night, in case a hedgehog needs to see to eat the bread and milk you left out for it. While you are at it, make sure they are not the type that go off after a short time. No, get the ones with a switch that allows you to leave them permanently on. And if I were you, I would make sure that you point them away from your own house, so that the light just goes straight into the windows of your neighbours. That way, we might still be awake when and if a burglar ever breaks into your place, and meanwhile you will get a good night’s sleep.
That’s all for now. I need to have a rest to calm down.