I Wish I Had Written That!

~ beetleypete

This is the text of a Spam comment I received ten minutes ago.
(Don’t click on any of the links, whatever you do)

As the old saying goes…
“Bartender! I’ll have one of whatever he’s drinking!”

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This may be nonsense, but I think you will agree that it is ‘Glorious Nonsense’. And yes, I read the whole thing!
In case you want to congratulate the author, this is his/her name. Maztikannope.
(I think some of the words are in Esperanto!)

Or perhaps it is this.
‘The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare. In fact, the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times’. (Wikipedia)

I can’t stop reading it. It’s amazing!

66 thoughts on “I Wish I Had Written That!”

  1. Pingback: More wonderful insanity | beetleypete

    1. I just love the strange structure. I am saving these spam comments for a future post. I have one more already, and now I am kicking myself for deleting three previous ones. 🙂
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Like

      Reply

  4. Pete, I just got this spam comment and it reminded me of your terrific post…here is it:

    “They feminized that thy haemal colors to the danish invariant during the taper circumnavigated a queen to tend cimmerian withdrawal for self-rule.”

    And how can you argue with that?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. 🤣🤣🤣 i skipped the reading part after three words. Honestly, this is genius. Because if you are reading that long a text on a mobile, you have a high possibility of touching (and hence clicking) the link.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. If you took the stories of Tallis Steelyard, stuck in some of The Book Of Revelations from the Bible, translated some hieroglyphs, and then listened to the Romulan language from Star Trek, then I reckon this is what you get!
      Magical!
      ‘Orangutan Owl’. It doesn’t get better than that, from where I sit.
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

        1. I know exactly what you mean. I genuinely do think it’s some sort of genius at work here. Shame he/she is also a crazy spammer though. 🙂 If they had a blog of this stuff, I would follow it in a heartbeat!
          Best wishes, Pete.

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply

  14. (1) I always suspected the French collided it.
    (2) Beware the mitral costermongers!
    (3) “dav his laps were emotionally so haemal that they flew thru a highland unto their slab interfaces…” Translation: “David’s lips were sealed. He couldn’t express the emotions he felt rock scrambling in the high desert while the flitting shadow of a Red-Tailed Hawk soared overhead.”
    (4) An elephant once trumpeted his agreement that oblique external saxophones sounded much better than his silly trunk.
    (5) As for the infinite monkey theorem, we really need to step up our efforts to boost simian evolution. I suggest an alien monolith. But we have to be careful. I mean, look at how far the apes have evolved. Before long, they’re bound to take over the planet!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  17. I get these messages of “glorious nonsense” too, only I call it mental illness. I wonder, what’s the purpose really? An attempt to spread a virus? Retaliation for the misuse of a word. Or–especially in my case–for the misuse of commas and semicolons? Psilocybin, perhaps? I suspect I will never really know…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. This is by far the most interesting and strangely constructed spam comment I have ever had, Pam. If the writer is mentally ill, they have come up with something incredible in the process. 🙂
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. I think this is incredible, Maggie. Such weird construction, and use of unconnected words. Hard to believe someone sat and typed it, surely it must be machine-generated?
      But where else could I read ‘Orangutan Owl’? If this is a religion, I’m a convert!
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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