This is a short story, in 1350 words.
It was prompted by the above photo, sent to me by Darlene Foster.
https://darlenefoster.wordpress.com/about/
When she split up with Joanne, the first thing Carrie wanted to do was to get out of Vancouver. She put in to the RCMP personnel department for a transfer to anywhere, and it wasn’t long before Alberta was offered.
Edmonton, somewhere she had never been. She accepted it without a second thought, and told them she would stay in a motel until she found an apartment to rent.
It was an Inspector’s job with the detective branch. Most of the others were well established already, and she knew she wouldn’t get anything high profile until she proved herself. After a couple of weeks getting used to the place, and settling in, Carrie found a decent apartment, then set about getting on with the job. She arrived early, and stayed late. When there were no cases coming her way, she looked for work.
Superintendent Roy looked at her as she tapped on his office door. “Can I help you, Inspector Chang?” She held up a file. “I was looking through this old case, sir. Be alright if I take some time to check it out?” He took the file, and flicked through it. “An old missing person job, out near Busby? Jeez, that’s over three years ago, Carrie”. She shrugged. “Looks funny to me sir, almost like it was let go. The guy has never showed up, not anywhere. I think it’s suspicious”.
She had come with good reports, and an excellent case clear-up rate. He thought he might as well see what she could do. “Sure, drive up there and look around. Take a week if you need it, then let me know what you think”. That night, Carrie took the file home, and read it in bed. Something had been missed, and she knew what that might be.
It was forty-five miles to Busby, and she made it under the hour. Not much happening there, just a small farming community. Even the gas station had closed down, probably unable to compete with the new one she had passed on highway forty-four. Taking the detailed map, she spread it over the front of the car and scanned it carefully. If she was right, she should be able to climb the tumbledown fence, and walk to the place.
The patrol car pulled in just behind her. Local cop. He walked over, smiling. “You lost, ma’am? Need some help?” Carrie flashed her badge. “I’m heading for the Duggan House. Were you around when that young fella went missing a few years back? Luke Anderson, he was a student at The University of Alberta, down in Edmonton”. He took off his hat and rubbed his crew-cut hair. “You mean that kid from Grande Prairie, nineteen or so?” Carrie nodded. “He told his room mate at the student accommodation he was going to head out here to look over the Duggan House. Nobody ever saw or heard from him again. He didn’t have a car, so he must have got the bus from Edmonton, and walked from the stop”.
The cop put his hat on and started to turn back to his car. “As I recall, there was a big search for him, and nothing showed up. If I was you, I’d keep away from the old Duggan House. That’s a bad place”. Then he was in his car, and driving away. Carrie folded the map and put it in her backpack. Then she locked her car and left it in the pull-off by the side of the country road. It took less than ten minutes to cross the fields until she saw the house in the distance.
It looked to be unloved, to say the least. The glass was gone from the windows, the roof shot, and there was light between the planks that had been used to build it, God knows how long ago. She walked straight up to the gap where the front door had been, and went in. The floor boards creaked under her feet and dust rose in small clouds that settled over her shoes. It seemed very cold inside, much colder than it had been out in the field. The ground floor was just one big empty room, and her footsteps echoed as she walked around it.
At the side was a lean-to. Judging from the single tap still bolted to the wood, she guessed it had served as a kitchen at one time. She headed up the stairs, which groaned under her light weight. The hand-rail looked like it would easily come away from the fixings, so she left it alone. There were two bedrooms upstairs, with an old iron bedstead still in one, and the other empty. Much of the upstairs space was taken by a big old storage space at the front. It was dark in there despite having no window, not even the frame. She took out a small flashlight from her pocket and shone it into the space.
Only dust and boards, nothing to bother with. Just about to turn and retrace her steps, she saw something glinting in the beam. She held the light on it and walked into the far corner. It was a small digital voice recorder. The chrome trim had reflected the light.
From her other pocket, Carrie took a latex glove, and a small evidence bag. She picked up the recorder in the gloved hand, then dropped it into the bag before sealing it up. It was getting colder all the time in there, so she decided to head back to her car. In the statement from the room mate, it was clear that Luke had been heading for the Duggan House. But it was also clear now that nobody had ever searched the place at the time. Or they would surely have found that recorder.
Back at the station, Carrie wrote up a report about what she had seen, then found some fresh batteries in the storeroom, and turned on the voice recorder.
“This is Luke Anderson. First recording for the Duggan House. It’s eight at night, and I am just going through the doorway”
Then there was the sound of footsteps, and creaking boards. Carrie began to jot down some notes in the file.
“Okay, the flashlight isn’t showing anything but an empty room. Going into the side room. I think this was the kitchen, but according to what I have read, nothing happened here”.
Creaking and heavier breathing followed. Carrie guessed he was walking upstairs.
“The old bed is still in one of the rooms, no furniture anywhere though. It feels really cold in here, considering it was around sixty degrees outside. Got to check out the old storage loft now, should start to get something where most of it happened”.
He probably meant that big empty space with no door or windows, Carrie made some more notes. Then there was just breathing, heavier this time. Almost a gasp.
“Jesus, it’s so cold in here. I can see something in the far corner. Going closer. Wow, it’s as cold as ice now”.
The next part made Carrie jump back in her seat. Luke was shouting, really loud.
“OH NO! OH SHIT! PLEASE, NO! STOP! PLEASE, STOP!”
There was no more audio.
Placing the recorder back into the evidence bag, Carrie put that and the case file into her backpack, and reached for her car keys. The case had taken a completely different turn now, just as she had suspected. Grabbing an extra flashlight from the desk drawer, she headed down to her car. It was already dark.
The best time to go back there, and try to find out what happened.
On Friday morning, Superintendent Roy walked into the main office. He raised his voice so they could all hear him. “Anyone seen the new girl? You know, the one from Vancouver, Carrie Chang”. Everyone shook their heads in turn. He raised his eyebrows. “She hasn’t let me know her progress, and it’s been three days now”.
He turned to the admin girl who was seated at the back.
“Janice, get on to the uniforms. Ask them to send someone to check her home address”.
Spooky and fun to read. Although I was shouting in my mind, “DON’T GO BACK!!” The cold spots told it all….
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Thanks very much for reading and commenting. I’m so pleased that you enjoyed it. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I also was shouting, “Don’t go back there!” I may have been shouting it out loud. A great read and good use of the prompt.
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YES! (or NOOOOOoooo, don’t gooooooo). 🙂
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I concur with everyone…Great story and right location…That was spooky as well…Good one, Pete 🙂
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Thanks, Carol. Pleased you enjoyed it. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Thank you, Pete have a great week. 😊
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Reblogged this on Darlene Foster's Blog and commented:
Pete has done it again. I sent him a picture of the house my great grandfather built over 100 years ago and it prompted him to write a fabulous story. I didn´t tell him the house was in Alberta until after.
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As many others have commented this would be a perfect start for one of your serials.
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I thought that too, Jude. But then I wickedly left it there! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I read it twice, it sounded nice! :-)) I had to read twice overcoming my very simple language sills. A good one too, Pete! Thank you for sharing, and have a nice – hopefully sunny ? – afternoon. Michael
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Thanks, Michael. It is sunny today, but also very cold. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Sounds like the story got live, for you. Lol
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Great writing and great story!
I liked it a lot!
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Thanks very much, Margie. That’s appreciated. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I love the photo and the story. Warmest regards, Theo
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Thanks, Theo. I had no idea it was actually a house in Darlene’s family. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie ~ Authors.
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Thanks very much. I have left a comment on your site. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Had me thinking of Blaire Witch, whilst listening to the recording, pity it had to end so fast as the story could go along way 🙂
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It was of course inspired by Blair Witch, and similar tales. But a short story has to end, so I leave the rest for you to conclude how you wish. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Excellent start on a story. But you got to finish it.
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Sorry, Don. The rest is up to you! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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(1) “You lost, ma’am? Need some help?” To which Carrie Chang sarcastically replied, “I can’t seem to find the dock. I’m looking for a slow boat to China!”
(2) I’m in the dark as to what exactly happened in the storage space, the final frontier for Luke and Carrie.
(3) Luke and Carrie were actually brother and sister. They were separated at birth and later adopted by the Skywalker and Fisher families.
(4) In the dark of a storage space, no one can hear you scream. That’s why it’s handy to have a digital voice recorder.
(5) Superintendent Roy Neary believes Carrie had a close encounter of some kind.
(6) In the wake of Carrie’s disappearance, the RCMP called the RSVP (Royal Spooky Vanishings Patrol), but didn’t get a response.
(7) At least the branch detective wasn’t barking up the wrong tree.
(8) I advise sending in a police dog from Edmonton. The police use K-9s during K-Days, but they are available the rest of the year.
(9) Carrie may not have incinerated Duggan House, but she has definitely kicked the bucket, even if no blood has been spilled in that storage space ̶k̶ .
(10) At least Carrie was no… ̶c̶ sissy.
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I ‘gave you’ Carrie and Luke, for the film puns. Pleased to see you didn’t let me down! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Great use of the photo Pete
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Thanks, John. Until I got Darlene’s comment, I had no idea it was a family home associated with her. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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A great use of the photo prompt, Pete. Love that you used familiar Alberta town names. As a child, I always thought those old abandoned houses were haunted. Well written with much tension.
It is a house from Alberta located in the south-east corner, near Medicine Hat. It was the house my great grandfather built on his homestead in 1912. It is the house my grandmother grew up in and my mom was born in. It was always filled with family, fun and much love. Sadly it burned down in a prairie fire 2 years ago. All we have left is the picture. And the stories.
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I actually picked Alberta by chance, so I am exceptionally pleased that it was the right location!
(I was going to use Saskatchewan, but it was a pain to type) I looked up the cities and towns, and also got the right distances.
Thanks very much for supplying the history of the photo, Darlene. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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That was indeed a lucky guess. I agree, Saskatchewan is a pain to type.
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This was good, creepy good! My heart is beating quite fast.
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Thanks, Jennie. Glad you found it creepy. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Definitely! Best to you, Pete.
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Firstly I like the photo…n every second I was reading was hilarious..my Curiosity incresed line after line…
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good to hear that. Thanks, Ketki. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I wish you would continue the story!
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You can make up the ending, Richa. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Nice one! I love a good ghost story 😁
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Thanks very much, Jeanne. I am pleased you enjoyed it. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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You sure got imaginative. All I could think of was ……. “Gee Maw, do ya think we oughta paint the house this year?”
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I think it might need a bit more than new paint, GP. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Whatcha goin’ to, I’m not a writer. 🙂
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Thats spooky. Silly woman should have told someone about the tape though.
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Ambition, FR. Often the downfall. At least she wrote up the report. They will find that on her computer eventually. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Aaaaargh!
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I like to get an Aaaaargh from you, Sue. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Well, you really cranked up the tension there….
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Ooooer!
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Missus! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I swear Pete, all the hair on the back of my neck stood up while I was reading this! This would make for such a great serial!😱
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It could be a serial, Kim. But I wanted to leave everyone guessing. And photo-prompts have to be one short story as a rule. 🙂
(I did one in two parts once though)
Best wishes, Pete.
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Drat. Maybe something similar?🤔
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Ooh, a scary one, Pete.
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A little bit scary, Mary. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Nice cliffhanger, Pete – you really should follow up this story (and many of your others) and publish them 😎
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Thanks, Chris.This could be a serial, but I wanted to leave it hanging. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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