You saw the title? Yes, this is a parcel prompt, a first. A short story, in 1280 words.
I took the photo of a parcel sent to me all the way from California, by my blogging friend, John Rieber.
He decided to go one better than a photo, and this was sent including a polystyrene box, to protect the contents.
https://johnrieber.com/
There was a time when things were good. ‘Demon of The Marsh’ was a huge hit, and smashed into the fantasy market. Top seller on Amazon, and in the front windows of the bookshops that still existed. I was interviewed on the radio, then even a short telly spot on the BBC local news. The Guardian columnist called it ‘A fresh new take on the Demon genre’. Naturally, I was excited. And when it had sold over six thousand copies in hardback, then many, many more in paperback, I was approached by the very keen publisher with a deal for a second book.
I admit it, I was excited. I gave up my job without talking to Stella about it. She thought it was premature, but when the royalties started to roll in she stopped talking about that job, and began to spend the cash. Then ‘Demon’ went onto Kindle, and sold like hot cakes. In less than a year, I had an agent, and he arranged publicity too. Conor Farley wasn’t even a pen name, and it was on a lot of lips, I tell you.
There was a problem though. The first book had a definite conclusion. A good one, if I say so myself, but no scope for a sequel. And for the life of me, I couldn’t think up anything nearly that good for my next novel. I wasted hours on drafts, eventually settling on one idea and sending the first six chapters off for consideration. My agent thought it was crap, and the publisher said there was no way they would put it out. I bet they were relieved they hadn’t paid me the advance.
Eighteen months later, it was all going wrong. The money was draining away, and Stella went with it. The old house had to go, exchanged for a run-down one-bed flat above the local Indian Restaurant. At least I didn’t have to go far to buy something to eat. I had a great new story, but only the title and page one so far. What saddened me most was that the fans of ‘Demon’ were clamouring for more. One even started a Facebook page called ‘Where’s Conor?’.
To be honest, I was seriously thinking about going back to work. My old job had gone of course, but they were recruiting at the call-centre, and I was desperate enough to consider their no-hours contract. I really was. Then one day, Mr Patel from the restaurant downstairs stopped me as I was going to the corner shop. “Mister Conor, I took this parcel for you. You must have not heard the driver knocking”. I went back in, intrigued to examine the parcel.
The first thing I noticed was that it was from America. I didn’t know anyone over there, and certainly not the person who had put their name and address as the sender. It was also very light, easily lifted in one hand. I went up to the kitchen with it and got a sharp knife, to open it carefully. Inside, was a polystyrene box. That contained a box of small cakes, called ‘Twinkies’. I confess I was flummoxed. Who would send a box of presumably cheap cakes all the way from America, to someone they didn’t know? The postage alone must have cost considerably more than the box of cakes. It freaked me out a bit, I have to say.
The cake box was sealed, and the cakes inside individually sealed too. I unwrapped one and held it to my nose. It smelled fine. I gave the cake a lick. Tasted alright. I went for broke, and bit the end off. It was sweet and creamy, the sort of thing you instinctively know isn’t good for you. But what the Hell? So I ate it all. Then I went to the corner shop to get the tea and milk I needed.
Waking up in the middle of the night was very unusual for me. But that’s what happened. The bedside alarm read three-fourteen, and I was wide awake. What’s more, I was buzzing with thoughts and ideas. Without getting dressed, I was soon sitting at my computer churning out pages. I didn’t even stop for tea, coffee, or a pee. By the time the morning light was coming through the window overlooking the street, I had over sixty pages written and no sign of flagging. When the men came to get the rubbish piled on the pavement outside, I was up to eighty-eight pages. Then when I heard Mr Patel’s chef opening up to do his lunchtime prep, I was on page one hundred.
Tea was needed, and I felt myself trembling as I made it. I would have to go back over what I had written, but my gut told me it was bloody good. Better than ‘Demon’, I could already tell that. The re-read confirmed what I suspected. it was great. Better than great, and tons better than ‘Demon’. I treated myself to another of those Twinkie cakes with a second cup of tea, and got back to writing. I had started to really like them, and it wasn’t long before I had eaten two more. It saved bothering with lunch, and then the rest of the box was gone by dinnertime. I was buzzing though. The book was looking superb, and I was already on page two hundred and six. Another hundred and fifty pages would be long enough, and I already had the ending open for a sequel. Lots of sequels in fact.
Then the tiredness hit me, after that early start. I decided to have a bath and get to bed. That book would be finished by tomorrow afternoon, at this rate.
When I got up the next morning, it was past nine, and very sunny. I made tea first, then sat in front of the computer, raring to go. But as I stared at the page, I suddenly didn’t have a clue. I couldn’t remember that magnificent open ending I had in mind last night, and two of the characters started to seem underdeveloped, even unnecessary. The doubt crept in, and I couldn’t type a word. I decided to get dressed, and go and buy some more of those cakes. They might help me focus.
Mr Allen in the corner shop hadn’t heard of them. He suggested I try one of the big supermarkets on the edge of town. That meant a bus ride, and a long walk around the trading estate. Still, something told me I did need those cakes, strange as that seemed. So I got the bus. The big Morrisons didn’t stock them, and neither did Tesco. The man in Asda told ne he had heard of them, but they didn’t carry that line. He suggested I try to order them online. I thanked him, but couldn’t admit that I no longer had a credit card, and my bank account was almost empty. And I didn’t mention that I could no longer afford to be connected to the Internet, either.
Four smaller shops I went in on the long walk home didn’t have any, and I arrived back at my flat exhausted.
Six weeks later, and I have literally run out of money. I am still on page two hundred and six, and waiting hopefully for another parcel to arrive from California.
Meanwhile, I have posted the application off to the call centre.
This was really, really good! Have you ever eaten a Twinkie?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Not until John sent that parcel, Jennie. Then I only shared half of one. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLike
Too funny a gesture from John, Pete! I’m glad your protagonist hasn’t choked on a Twinkie. I was waiting for it…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Choking on the cake might have been too obvious, Cindy. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was teasing. Yes. I expect more from you. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 x
LikeLike
Well done, Pete! This makes a good story writer, and you are one of them. Thank you for sharing, with using the great gesture of John. Michael
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Michael. I enjoyed getting that parcel. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Was a great action by John.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I so enjoyed this story!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for letting me know, Liz. That’s always so encouraging. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Another good story, Pete. I am so old I remember when Twinkies had a banana creme filling. Loved them, never could stand the filling they use today.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Don. Banana Cream sounds quite nice. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLike
What a great tale. I never got Twinkies in my school lunch and envied the kids who did. The other appalling treat is “SnoBalls.” A thick coconut coated marshmallow crust over a cupcake. Truly awful. John should send you some of those for another story prompt.
LikeLiked by 2 people
We can get snowballs here, Elizabeth. Don’t tell anyone, but I actually like those! 🙂 Over here though, there’s no cupcake, just a gooey marshmallow filling.
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
For many years, my father and I went on “float trips” (i.e., canoe trips) in Southern Missouri and Northern Arkansas. We discovered that Sno Balls were the perfect treat on the river. I really can’t explain why. We never ate them any other time.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Did yours have the cupcake inside? I never heard of that before.
LikeLike
The Sno Balls we ate were “cream-filled chocolate cakes covered with marshmallow frosting and coconut flakes” as described and pictured at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sno_Balls.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They are different here. All cream, like those in this ad.
https://groceries.asda.com/product/fancies-whirls-flapjack/lees-snowballs-6-pack/910003113234?&cmpid=ppc-_-ghs-_–_-google-_–_-dskwid-s92700048873707951_dc&gclid=EAIaIQobChMImIHBq9b05wIVx7TtCh3HcAU8EAQYASABEgLS-vD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think your friend, John Rieber, needs to send you some real Sno Balls!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t like the look of those cupcake ones. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
My husband and I are like that with Cheetos and real Coca Cola. Only time we eat either is on road trips.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I loved Snoballs when I was a kid!
LikeLiked by 2 people
The pink ones?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, another beautiful story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Arlene. It was good of John to send me that parcel, so I had to come up with something suitable. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLike
Just goes to show what a sugar rush will do for you… fantastic story Pete and I am sure you will now be kept in Twinkies until you publish that short story collection we are looking forward to….x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks very much, dear Sally. I am so happy that you enjoyed the story. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I did and will pop in the blogger daily later..xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are always so kind. x
LikeLike
we are what we eat ? 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Then I am not a Twinkie, Jim. 🙂
(Relief, I suppose?)
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great fun Pete, had me smiling, but beware you may end up with a few more parcels now, although I guess it may not be such a bad thing 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I still have to get around to the last batch of postcards mate. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLike
This is great…I have never had a twinkie either, Pete…I am sure they are on par with our pop tarts or something of that ilk …But there was a silver lining a great story 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just a sort of thin sponge with an artificial cream inside, Carol. They are okay, but you can happily live a full life without ever trying one. 🙂
So glad you enjoyed the story.
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I can, Pete… I really did enjoy the story 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
A great idea, Pete, although I would have preferred it if he finished the book. There is nothing worse than a half finished book.
LikeLiked by 2 people
To have finished the book, he would have had to find more Twinkies! 🙂
Thanks, Robbie.
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I could send you some, Pete [wink]. We actually have these in South Africa.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Robbie, but save your postage. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! What a great story. I had a great laugh. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks very much, Colleen. I am so glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great fun. I love when we connect in positive ways. ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loved the humor of this story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks very much, felicity. I am trying harder with humour, as it is not very natural for me in fiction.
I am so pleased you liked it.
(Thanks for always tweeting too, I don’t always remember to thank you on Twitter)
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLike
Twinkies have super powers. Ha!
Great story
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you enjoyed it, Margie. I couldn’t think of a better use for the ‘sugar rush’. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on johnrieber and commented:
I sent my friend Beetley Pete a box of Twinkies and he turned it into art!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the reblog, John! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I haven’t had a Twinkie in twenty years, but this brought a smile to my face. We need to expose Pete to all the things he’s missed out in life.😎
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Pete. It might take a long time to expose me to everything I have missed out on. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who knows what might happen if, instead, that box had held a Tastykake Creamie???
LikeLiked by 1 person
Or whatever the comparable one is called… it’s been a LONG time. I really enjoyed the story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Angela. I had to look those up. 🙂
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tastykake
Glad you liked the story.
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLike
I loved reading this, it made me feel nostalgic and I have no idea why?? Brilliant.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for that, glad you liked it. I also have no idea where the nostalgia comes in, but it’s all good!
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Twinkies are still a great indulgence after all these years! I have not had one in years! Now folks make twinkie cakes too! another good story-
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Michele. I still haven’t eaten a whole one yet! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant, Pete. And thanks to John for sending the Twinkies to inspire you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Mary. What was in the parcel really surprised me, but I got the reference of course. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it’s wise to resist the urge! 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, behold the power of the twinkie! If you can ever find a fresh one, they’re not bad! And shall I admit I actually tried one deep-fried at the State Fair one year? I do admit it. And once was enough! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m thinking about frying one now. 🙂
(I won’t though)
Thanks, Susanne.
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
(1) “Demon of the Marsh” sounds good! What was the second book?
“Satan’s Swamp?”
“Bog Beast?”
“The Horrors of Huckleberry Fen?”
“Monster in the Mire?”
“Quag: Legend of the Ghost?”
…or maybe…
“The Twinkieville Terror?”
(2) “I was buzzing with thoughts and ideas.” What do they put in those Twinkies, anyway? Should I notify the DEA?
(3) While sitting in front of the computer, Conor Farley began to fantasize about flying to America to buy more Twinkies. An inner voice that he mistook for that of a flight attendant, asked, “Coffee, tea, or pee?”
(4) According to Wikipedia, “There are 206 bones in the typical adult human body.” That’s one bone per written page of Conor Farley’s unfinished second novel.
(5) Twinkies are creamy. Marilyn Monroe’s character in “How to Marry a Millionaire” loves the word, and always has a twinkle in her eye when saying it.
“Creamy. Are we really in?”
“Sounds just creamy to me.”
“I saw a picture in Harper’s Bazaar once, what they call a mountain shack. It was creamy.”
“Congratulations, honey. We read about it on the plane. I think it’s just creamy.”
NOTE: “The book was looking superb, and I was already on page two hundred and six. Another hundred and fifty pages would be long enough…” 206 + 150 = 356 pages. My first detective novel ran 352 printed pages. The sequel, in progress, is estimated to run a few pages longer. Writer’s block is never a problem for me, but I do have to contend with disruptions in my writing schedule. In any event, I’m hoping to self-publish both novels in January 2022.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I knew you would romp away with this one, David.
Good to know that my 356 page estimation was about right. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ahh! The power of Twinkies! You should try them deep fried.😁
LikeLiked by 2 people
Deep fried! Call an ambulance first! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 2 people
😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That was a fun one! Magic twinkies!
LikeLiked by 3 people
I think the sugar rush might just work! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 2 people
There was a time, March to July in 2013, when Twinkies were not on the shelves as the company that made them was sold(out of bankruptcy) and it took a few months to get them back on the shelves. Think how badly literature production suffered in those four months! Warmest regards, Theo
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, that must have been the time when you couldn’t get a decent novel! 🙂
Thanks, Theo.
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the story, Pete. But how could anyone not have ever had a Twinkie? Yes, I read John Rieber’s comments – and yes he’s right. I’m more of a one line caption person rather than a full story – I figured the line should be…. “Hah, here it is 2179 and that dang Twinkie is still soft!!”
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, GP. You can get Twinkies here on Amazon, but they are rarely available in shops. So I had never had one. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a great idea! How clever, John. And a great story too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Darlene. John told me he was sending something, but I had no idea what it was. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
HA! Love it! For those who don’t know, Pete made the mistake of mentioning to me once he had never had a Twinkie. It’s a relic of an earlier time in America when our appetite for processed food that never goes stale was at a pinnacle. Add Hostess Fruit Pies, Cupcakes, Oreos and all the rest, and it’s my childhood! These items are all still for sale, and the joke is that they literally WILL NEVER GO BAD. So, I had to send Pete some to see for himself, and I got myself a terrific story as a result!
LikeLiked by 7 people
Thanks, John. They are not as sweet as I thought they would be. Julie loves them! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pete, they are iconic here in the US, but their appeal has diminished as people seek out “healthier” options…but I promise you, in middle America they still rule! Glad Julie likes them, and that they proved to be creatively inspiring for you!
LikeLiked by 4 people
Best send him another box so he can finish the story!
LikeLiked by 5 people
HA! Perhaps some “Ding Dongs” instead – that will rock his world!
LikeLiked by 2 people
dear lord, he’ll have a heart attack!
LikeLiked by 2 people
HA! I don’t want THAT!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, be careful with your Ding Dongs!
LikeLiked by 2 people
HA!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I had to look those up. Not so fond of chocolate flavour. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
They are really NOT good Pete!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Too funny a gesture from John, Pete! I’m glad your protagonist hasn’t choked on a Twinkie. I was waiting for it…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Remember a little while back when they announced they were going out of business? Millions went “OH, No!” because it was such an emotional connection to our childhoods. Getting a Twinkie in your lunch box was a great treasure, indeed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I remember that! It was part of my growing up to be sure, along with a Bologna sandwich!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You betcha.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes!
LikeLiked by 1 person