Thinking Aloud On a Sunday

~ beetleypete

Running late.

I woke up late today, really late. Not that long ago in fact.

After another sleep of almost twelve hours, I jumped out of bed feeling like it was late afternoon. I still don’t know if this sleepiness is something to do with the virus, my age, or cumulative stress over all that is happening.
But whatever the cause, I am certainly missing almost five hours of my morning routine already.

My mind seems to have snapped out of the reverie that has occupied it recently. I have a book to read and review, promised to a magazine ten days ago, with a deadline by the end of the month. I have to get that done, as I hate to let people down.

Eating breakfast so late makes it lunch instead, and I am aware that before I know it, Ollie will need to go out for his long walk.

Even when you have ‘nothing to do’, it feels like you are spending the whole day catching up, and hurtling toward preparing dinner, followed by going to bed. I am only out of bed for a short time so far today, yet I can already visualise the moment when I will be climbing back into it.

Unusually for me, I forgot what I was thinking about when I woke up. Instead of a clear recollection, I only have snippets remaining. Like seeing the trailer of a film you forgot you had watched years ago. It was definitely something vivid, as I can see the face of the person I was talking to, someone I knew very well at one time. But I cannot put us in the time and place that was vivid in my mind at the moment I woke up.

For some reason, wanting to remember that feels very important to me today.

The sun is out, and it is not long until midday here. Sunday is half gone already, and I am concerned about remembering a dream.

That is so like me, it’s familiar, but scary.

71 thoughts on “Thinking Aloud On a Sunday”

  1. I had a similar experience yesterday afternoon. I lay down for my 20 minute nap and awoke an hour and a half later, having no idea where I was, when it was, or who I was. Total disorientation. I was dreaming too which never happens in the afternoon. I have no idea about what. Has it been determined if you have the virus?

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  2. I am out of rhythm. The unknown about school adds to my worries and often disjointed days. Saturday we had snow, and I stayed wrapped in a blanket, stewing over all I needed to do, yet unable to tackle anything. I can understand why your dream is so important. Best to you, Pete.

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  3. Sunday is the only day of the week when I sleep in (I don’t turn my alarm on), but even with that, if I get up very late I also feel I’m missing something, and I have to catch up. I’ve also been feeling quite tired, perhaps due to the aftermath of the course, or because although it’s almost 6 weeks of confinement here already, it only hit me in full a couple of weeks ago. Take care and take it easy (well, as easy as possible).
    And good luck with your reading and reviewing. I find it a bit harder to concentrate on books these days. Only some topics seem to engage my interest.

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    1. I am really struggling to get past page one of the book, Olga. But I commited to reviewing it, so must get it done. Nothing wrong with the book I have to review by the way, it’s just me. 🙂
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  4. I don’t like starting my day the way you did, Pete. It feels like you play “catch-up” the rest of the day, and sometimes still don’t get there. I’ve been the opposite—not sleeping as well as usual. Sometimes I can’t turn my brain off at night.

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    1. A friend suggested that too much screen time might actually be ‘exhausting’ me. That might be it, but it doesn’t feel like it is. Playing catch-up with a day can be frustrating, even without a single deadline to meet.
      Thanks, Pete.
      Best wishes, Pete,

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  5. Well, it’s been a hiking weekend for me. I hiked 2-1/2 hours Saturday near Blue Diamond (a village in Red Rock Canyon NCA), and again 2-1/2 hours Sunday around Cheyenne Mountain, located in the northwestern area of the Las Vegas Valley. Now I can spend the next five days sitting on my derrière, writing some fiction, and catching up with the Dakins. Next weekend is shaping up to be another one with back-to-back desert hikes. We have to take advantage of the mild weather before it gets hot, hot, hot. Thanks to the wildflowers, as well as the prickly pears, there were splashes of bright color in the Mojave Desert this past weekend.

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  6. I know that, Pete! Since the lockdown had started, i am feeling something like lazyness. Some days, my working is like remote controlled. But i am wondering about your personal alarm clock, named “Ollie”. No barking? 😉 A real companion. 🙂 Best wishes, Michael

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  7. Pete,
    Today felt like I had approached the ‘event horizon of a black hole’, where time seems to get stretched out and passes more slowly! I got up at 10.20am, and we had dinner at 7pm. But, for the first time during this crisis, the time in between felt like 48 hours! I am no stranger to ‘self-isolating’ since I retired, and even celebrated when told it would continue for another 3 weeks! Why not 4 or 5 more weeks, I thought! Yesterday, I spent an hour unblocking a sink, and it only seemed like 10 minutes.
    Maybe today will be different, but it is already 00.28, and ‘Groundhog Day’ beckons!
    Stay safe, and stay sane!
    Regards to and from all.
    Ian

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    1. Our perception of time passing does indeed change once we retire. An evening can seem much longer than it is, but the next day might simply fly by so fast as to almost disappear. After 8 years, you might think I would have adjusted, but if anything it just gets worse. 🙂
      Love to all mate, Pete. x

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  11. Pete, as everyone has already noted, it could be the result of the stress and anxiety that comes from this worldwide pandemic we are all experiencing – and all inner own unique way. I also hat ether idea of “being behind”….that from someone who also loves procrastinating!

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  12. Sleeping a lot more can definitely be a sign of anxiety and depression, Pete. I hope you start feeling better soon. Fortunately, I don’t mind being at home, actually its a bit like a present for me as I find interacting at work time consuming and unfulfilling and I much prefer being all alone doing my thing. It brings out the best in me. If I had any doubts about being an introvert, it is now obvious that I am one.

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      1. Perhaps because your life has not changed and the world around you that you can see from Television has, it might be you need to simply make a small change to your routine so your mental state matches the madness you are witnessing. 🙂 Warmest regards, Theo

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  13. Don’t force yourself to remember a dream. Trust your subconscious is easing your brain even if you don’t know it. Hubby always dreams about work. He was also on shift work in a security role and it mattered so much to him that twenty five years later his brain still turns to that period.He doesn’t wake refreshed because I snore and if he wakes before five he can’t get back to sleep. However, he does fall asleep easily in the day, especially about 4.30pm. Advice is that more than 20 minutes is not good for one’s health but at our age I think naps are essential. I drop off at 7.30pm! We have been for an hour’s walk with the dog today so we should be able to sleep tonight! Best Wishes.

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    1. Thanks, Julie. My own experience of ‘napping’ so far is that I wake up in a foul mood, and then cannot get to sleep at night. But we are all different, and my wife benfits greatly from afternoon naps on the days when she is working from 8 am until 1:30 pm. 🙂
      (Her name is Julie too)
      Best wishes, Pete.

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    1. When our grandson was last here, it was all about Pokemon. I managed to wind him up that Pikachu was a girl, because he is yellow and has red spots on his cheeks like blusher. 🙂
      I quite like Peppa, especially Granddad dog and his tow truck. 🙂
      Cheers, Pete.

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  15. Dreams are elusive at best. We all forget the details soon after waking. However, to contrast that, there is the feeling of a dream that can linger for hours and hours after awakening. For me, they are the nightmares or revisiting of a past time and past relationship. It’s like I’ve been a ghost and walked on to a set. It feels so real.
    Anyway, it’s temporary, your becoming Rip Van Winkle. Just ride it out. Or sleep it out. 😉

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  16. In spite of the fact that there’s a virus “out there”… the real ‘virus” spreading across the land is our own fears about living in a different world we know nothing about. While you and I share the same age bracket and thus the same awareness of our own natural morality on a “good” day, it doesn’t change the fact that the stress of social upheaval just compounds our overall daily existence. I am guessing there’s a not-so-subliminal stress thing going on in all of us at the moment… and less about new health anomalies. I find myself getting some slight appreciation with the fact that humanity has the internet in which to express stress and solicit a different kind of human contact to hopefully relieve some of this stress.

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    1. Hard to say, because I don’t feel depressed as such, and I didn’t go out that much anyway. 🙂
      I just wish I could remember the circumstances of that dream…
      Thanks, Stevie.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  22. Each of our experiences is different, unique in fact, so my own feeling is that we will have to adjust to thinking that ‘normal’ has lost a lot of its meaning, and we will have to accommodate spontaneity, and not being perturbed if we can’t adhere to a predetermined schedule [I appreciate that animals might not see it that way!]; this isn’t easy for me, as I have always felt like a very unspontaneous person, and hence more comfortable with a routine. I’m getting there, though 😉 Cheers, Jon.

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    1. Maybe you have to create an artificial routine for yourself, Jon, perhaps even write it down?
      I know some people have to have structure. My second wife suffered from OCD, and she had to do certain things at regular times, or risk becoming very unsettled.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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      1. I didn’t mean to give the impression that it’s a problem: quite the reverse in fact, I’m quite enjoying it! Perhaps I’ve always relied on routine to prevent me feeling guilty about being very happy to have some ‘me time’ if the opportunity presents itself, so now it appears that we can be more flexible with our day to day lives, as long as the priorities are taken care of. In general, I don’t worry unduly about how to respond in an unfamiliar situation, but any time I’ve been asked to improvise in an acting situation, I have relied where possible on research or forward planning to relax me: not such a worry for the screen, because you can always ‘go again’, but I wouldn’t like to have to do it on stage! Cheers, Jon.

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      1. No, but give it time….one night’s sleep doesn’t do it for me, but I have to sleep well regularly and rest more, much more, in general…..not the old me at all, but still a functioning me

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  24. I find I’m getting up later in the mornings and by the time I’ve had breakfast and read the paper I feel half the day has gone. We decided to get up a bit earlier and go for our walk in the morning instead of late afternoon – still not out yet, though I’ve done two loads of washing, read and commented on blogs. I think not having a structure in our lives is more difficult that we anticipated.

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