Stubbed Toes From Hell

~ beetleypete

There was a time when I used to stub my toe a lot. Before most chairs and sofas touched the floor or carpet, and beds had side storage that meant there was no longer a gap underneath them. A really bad toe stub could have me hopping around as if the toe itself had been traumatically amputated, rather than just come into contact with a hard object.

Then for a long time, I forgot about toe stubbing completely.

For one thing, I moved to Beetley, and became a wearer of sheepskin-lined bootee slippers, with a hard rubber sole. I have written about this excellent style of footwear before, but the short version is that they are useful outdoors as well as in, and offer very good protection to the wearer.

There are few occasions now when they are not on my feet, except when out walking Ollie, shopping, or socialising. One of those occasions is when I go to bed of course, and the other is when I am having a bath.

Yesterday, I got my bath prepared, as I would soon be taking Ollie for his walk. For as long as I can remember, I have always entered a bath with my right leg first, then swung my left leg in before sitting down. For some unknown reason yesterday, I swappped legs. Without even realising it, I put my left leg in first, creating an awkward angle for the right one. As I swung that leg over into the water, I misjudged the proximity of the edge of the hard enamel bath rim, and stubbed my toes on it.

Note the plural. Toes. Not the conventional toe stub, usually involving just the big toe, oh no. The other four toes instead.

Now I know that I have recently postulated that my pain threshold has diminshed with age, but the sensation was absolute agony. If there was a swear box in the bathroom, I would have had to put enough in it to pay for a luxury short-break.

I dropped into the hot water, still cursing my lack of attention as I tried to commence my ablutions whilst occasionally yelling out loud with pain. By the time I was out, dried, and shaving, the throbbing felt like the podiatric version of a very bad tooth abscess. But Ollie had to go out, and the weather was lovely too.

I didn’t exactly hobble around on the dog-walk, but I tried to walk ‘heel-first’ on my right foot throughout.

By the time I got home, after two hours out and about, two of the four toes were purple with bruising, and they all still hurt. A lot.

Now THAT is what I call a ‘toe-stub’!

59 thoughts on “Stubbed Toes From Hell”

  4. That sounds excruciating, Pete. Michael jammed his big toe under our security gate while Terence and I were in Birmingham a few years ago. I got a frantic call from my older son while we were touring Lichfield Cathedral. When we go home, two days later, his toe was completely purple and the nail was black. It became infected and I had to take Michael to the doctor. Yes, stubbed toes are definitely not joyous occasions.

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  5. I feel your pain Pete, I did the other classic yesterday, hit my thumb with the hammer! I now have the classic black nail and constant throbbing ache as the blood pulses through my thumb and I just know that I will bang it at least a dozen times a day for the next week )

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  6. Your post made me think about stubbing toes, and why it no longer happens to me, Pete. It used to happen a lot when I was a kid. Perhaps it is because I no longer have my catlike reflexes. Now I’m closer to a sloth.😎

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    1. I am convinced it is the change in the style of furniture, and rooms less crowded with it too. 🙂 When I was young, everything had ‘legs’, and they were seemingly magnetic to my bare toes.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  8. That really hurts. My friend broke all her toes on one foot by running into a suit case. I also have your excellent footwear. Durable, versatile and cozy!

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  15. I’ve stubbed my toe many times, and sometimes have ended up with a discolored toenail as a nice memento. I’ve also broken a toe a couple of times. And then, of course, I’ve actually lost a few fingernails for one reason or another…

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  21. Pain is horrible….I have broken the toes on my right foot many times…..but that is a thing of the past….lost 4 of them…..so my toe stubbing is not as bad as it use to be…..but I would rather have the toes back to stub. chuq

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