This is the second part of a fiction serial, in 712 words.
I waited until Luke had left for work before emerging from the bedroom. Sleeping on his bed had made me feel dirty, but there was no way I was going to use his shower, as that looked even dirtier. A quick glance showed that a large percentage of his too-long dark hair was living around the drain and the base. Using the toilet to have a pee was bad enough. I reckoned I could have had a competition to estimate when that had last been cleaned. The inside of the bowl looked as it it had been varnished. I would use the shower at home, when I went back to get more stuff.
Wandering around Luke’s small flat, I shook my head at the mess, and the stuff piled up everywhere. He even had his old Transformers, from the days when we played with them as kids. It felt as if he had never thrown anything away, and had lugged it all with him from his mum and dad’s when he bought the flat.
I didn’t understand why he didn’t employ a cleaner. He had a great job, and earned twice as much as I did. He could have even bought a much nicer flat, with spare rooms to hide all his crap away. But he said he didn’t like the idea of anyone looking around when he was out, so obviously preferred to live like a pig in his sty. The fact that he had money was evident in many other ways. The enormous television, the latest and best you could buy. The new car parked in the underground car park, a rare import that turned heads whenever he drove it. Fancy pairs of trainers that cost as much as one of my whole outfits, and the most expensive mega-speed broadband and streaming package on the market.
I knew I had to get moving, or my car parked on the street would get a ticket. Might even get towed away if I wasn’t quick.
Driving back, I took a stupidly long route, as I wanted to be sure Becky would have left for work when I arrived. That gave me too much time to think about the fact that I was going to have to go to my mum’s later, and ask her if I could move in until things were sorted between us. There was no way I could tolerate staying at Luke’s. Not unless I got a firm in to deep-clean the place first. Besides, I didn’t intend to make the split too final, too soon. Going back to my family home would give a better impression than moving in with a single friend. Let her stew about things for a while, and hope that we could get back together before it became accepted that we weren’t.
So much to consider. Mutual friends, both of our extended families. Ten years of being together, almost like one person.
Maybe that was the problem. People said we were inseperable. Not just husband and wife, but best friends too. How many times had I heard both of us say that we no longer needed anyone else, now we had each other?
Even after one night away, walking back into my own place felt strange. Like I was a burglar, unwanted.
An empty bottle of Pinot Grigio on the coffee table told me that Becky had probably had to drink herself to sleep, and the smell of her morning routine was still clinging to the bedroom, making me miss her more than I had ever thought possible. At least she hadn’t packed up all my things into suitcases. I sat on the bed, my body feeling strangely heavy. We should have been going away for five days today. I had taken the time off, and booked the trip as a surprise. Becky’s face had fallen at the news, and she was adamant that there was no chance of her getting away. Work was too busy to allow unexpected leave, and she said I must have been crazy to think she could just ring in and say she was on holiday.
She was right of course. I had been impulsive, stupid. I hadn’t thought it through.
That was how the argument had started.
And the build up as to why begins. well done, Pete.
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Thanks, Jennie. Let the ‘flashback’ commence. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Haha! Yes!
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Sounds like a sequel to the last story. Only this time socially a little deeper, behind the apartment block.
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This is simply a ‘relationship’ story, Michael. No craziness this time. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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😉 But very interesting too.
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(1) “A quick glance showed that a large percentage of his too-long dark hair was living around the drain and the base.” I don’t know whether to cry, “It’s a miracle!” or “It’s alive!”
Not to split hairs, but according to ScienceABC: Hair’s “growth is directly connected to the blood vessels at the base of every hair follicle. These blood vessels feed the hair roots to keep them growing and break through the skin. By the time the hair reaches the epidermis (i.e., the outer surface of the skin), the cells within that hair are no longer alive. That’s why it doesn’t hurt to cut your hair… it’s basically already dead!”
(2) “The inside of the bowl looked as it it had been varnished.” Thanks to my discovery that tea bags help to dissolve hard water stains in the toilet, my toilet bowl is now shiny clean. And that’s the unvarnished truth!
(3) “I shook my head at the mess, and the stuff piled up everywhere.” Shaking one’s head never helps to clean up a mess. I know this for a fact. I’ve been shaking my head for years, and the mess has only gotten worse. Time to think up a new strategy!
(4) Luke “preferred to live like a pig in his sty.” Pigs claim they live in style.
(5) Overheard at the surgical center following an operation on conjoined twins, Buck and Becky:
Buck: “Ten years of being together, almost like one person.”
Becky: “I thought there was no chance of getting away from him!”
Buck: “People said we were inseparable!”
Dr. Frankie Stein: “I didn’t intend to make the split too final, too soon. But since you’ve already grown apart emotionally…”
(6) “Like I was a burglar, unwanted,” said Fred Casely never.
Roxie Hart: “He was trying to burgle me.”
Assistant D.A. Martin Harrison: “From what I hear, he’s been burgling you three times a week for the past month.”
(7) “…the smell of her morning routine was still clinging to the bedroom.” In my opinion, morning routines stink. I like a little variety in my morning.
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Even without cirmes or murders, you still pulled 7 out of the hat. 🙂
Well done, David.
Best wishes, Pete.
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You tell such a good story, Pete .
I am enjoying this one!
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Thanks very much, Margie. Happy to hear that. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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OK, so it wasn’t the butler. Warmest regards, Theo
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Luke could do with employing a butler, but no, there wasn’t one. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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It is interesting that as I think about those key moments in my life you tell us about Becky’s announcement that he needs to leave. It does seem to happen like that.
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When something similar happened to me, I was shocked. But within 10 seconds, I knew why. It was knowing she was right that shocked me more than what was going to happen.
Best wishes, Pete.
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It’s funny that you already knew.
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Once it was ‘spoken’, I couldn’t deny she was right. I just never expected her to make the break.
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Okay, this chapter makes things much more apparent to me. Somehow I imagined that they were just a young couple living together rather than being married for ten years. I’m thoroughly hooked and want to know where this one goes.
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I only mentioned the wedding in passing in part one, Pete. (Relating to Luke wanting to wear trainers as best man) You will learn more about the main characters over the next few days. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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A great chapter two Pete. It will be interesting to follow this story and see the layers get unpeeled!
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I think we might all identify with some part of this story, John. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Another great bit of writing Pete!
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Ten years, so sad. It’s going to be interesting seeing what led up to this. Somehow I don’t think a surprise trip is the only reason.
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You could be right, Kim. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Maybe someone should have thought a bit more about planning a surprise trip away and assuming Becky would be delighted.
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Yes indeed. Spontaneous behaviour can be attractive, but it has its limits.
Best wishes, Pete.
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It seems we’ll slowly understand the reasons for the breakup.
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That’s the plan, GP. Back to the beginning soon.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Breakdowns of relationships are so sad, so hard.
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They are much worse than you imagine they will be, at least in my expoerience.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Indeed they are, Pete….
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