Thinking Aloud On A Sunday

~ beetleypete

Moods.

You know me. I try to always be polite, reply to every comment, read all the blog posts of those I follow, and do my best to be part of our great community. I share stuff on Twitter when I can, host guest bloggers, and feature as many other bloggers as possible. I write fiction serials, photo-prompt stories, film reviews, and tell everyone about Ollie my dog.

At times, (frequently) I let out my frustrations by having a good moan or rant about blogging etiquette, followers who don’t follow, and other such pet peeves.

But most of the time, I am just ‘Me’.

We have all had a bad year in 2020. For some, the stresses and strains of the pandemic have been added to by becoming ill, bereavement, or employment issues.

I don’t have that much to complain about, I really don’t. I have survived eight months of a killer virus that primarily targets people in my age group. I have managed to remain financially stable, overcome a few domestic issues around the house, and even get work done by contractors.

I continued to enjoy blogging and writing, and the company of my online friends in this community. Despite serious medical problems for Ollie, he survived those, and remains my constant companion. He provides me with a sense of responsibility that I might otherwise have lacked. Having him makes me get up and get ready, leave the house on long walks in the countryside, and interact with local people. I doubt I would do a tenth of that, without Ollie.

So why have I suddenly become so moody, irritable, and losing focus?

I have no idea.

94 thoughts on “Thinking Aloud On A Sunday”

  1. Hello Pete, i hope you are feeling better now. Maybe it was the weather too, the last days. I was tired too, and cant find a cause for this. Best wishes! Enjoy this weekend. In the meantime i will read all the postings of the past days, i missed. Michael W. Zach

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  2. I think that is with everyone. I am very grateful for my life and what I have survived. I am grateful for my family and friends and everything good. But this pandemic has changed us all in some way or the other. I think its just being human. Take care. Keep writing and keep smiling 🙂
    Regards,
    Rupa.

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  3. I know what you mean, as I feel the same way many days. I can’t put my finger on why. I think we have too much press which makes us worry. I get outside and feel normal again. I know you do with Ollie, too.

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  5. Great post 🙂 I hear ya Pete 🙂 This year has just been upsetting with Covid-19 and stuff. I too would like to feel positive about the future again. Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

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  6. I so appreciate all the comments that were shared. I too have hit a wall this week and seem to have lost steam all around. Somehow it is very helpful to know that I am not alone and that this too will pass.

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  8. I’ve read the comment about the news and I remember I read a book about hope and optimism not long ago and it blamed watching the news for much of the unhappiness. I have the feeling as if I was dragging something and I recall making a comment on Twitter and somebody making a joking comment about who was counting the days (I think I said I had no sense of what day it was any longer), and that’s it. It feels as if the year was dragging on and it’s impossible to settle into anything because all is uncertain. I feel sapped of energy, but irritable as well. I guess it’s like living under a constant situation of stress. Take care and I’m happy to hear that despite the mood, things aren’t too bad. I think we need to cut ourselves some slack.

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  9. Pete, I’ve not read all the comments but I’m not sure it is just age. Apparently we all have sort of algorithms racing around inside us, like chemical reactions, – I cant’ remember what they are called – that’s age, but the levels can affect our mood and they can come and go. So it’s very normal and with the nonsense in the news today – no wonder so many of us are feeling down.

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  12. If I were to guess, I’d say it is the combination of things that take us out of the normal freedoms we often take for granted. I’ve been retired for four years, and I woke up happy each day before the pandemic. Now it’s been a series of ups and downs. The good news is we seem to snap out of it quickly.

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    1. You could be right, Don.. I am something of a ‘news addict’. It started on 9/11, when I sat watching the rolling news of the twin towers for over 12 hours. Now I seem to be afraid I might miss something!
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  15. I don’t go there often and I can never explain it when I do, but one thing I know is that it always passes. The biggest downside for me is dealing with the flak for all the things I might say out of character when I hit one of these walls 🙂

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    1. I tend to withdraw, so don’t say much to regret.
      I reserve that for those odd nights when more than two bottles of wine makes me feel the need to mention a few ‘home truths’. 🙂
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  16. I can truly say that getting away to our caravan on the IOW has been a great boost to us in this year of uncertainty. We’re off there again in 2 weeks’ time. If you can, buy a caravan, lol. It gives you something to look forward to.

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    1. I can’t afford tha, sadly. So I’m doing the next best thing, and have booked a 5-night stay in a ‘lodge’ right next to the beach. It is in the second week in December, so will be a much-needed break away from Beetley for me.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  17. don’t be too hard on yourself, Pete. when i have ‘my moods’ i focus on the many good things which you do have a lot! looking forward to Ollie and your outings together! : ) 🙂

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  19. Pete, 2020 has been a psychological horror for millions and millions of people: an invisible killer that can strike at anytime – and we can only beat it if we ALL work together, something we have seen has not been possible yet. We have the ugliness of the political process, countries arguing and fighting for no valid reason (and always MALE leaders, someone please let me know if there is a “warring female leader” somewhere). The young people have said quite loudly that they do NOT like the world they have been given, and are willing to burn it down to start over…as I said, 2020…

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  20. I was listening to a podcast about an older lady who was saying the same thing about having a dog. She said it gave her something to do and a sense of purpose since she couldn’t get out and visit restaurants.

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    1. I regard having my dog as a complete commitment. In the last eight years, I have only gone on holiday in Britain, so I can take the dog too. And he has to go out, which means I walk around 35-40 miles a week, in all weathers. Having a dog changed my life, and in a good way.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  21. I think it is fatigue with the anxiety and the lifestyle changes, Pete. I have felt quite sick of work lately. I have tried to take some leave twice over the past 5 months and both times I’ve had to cancel because of my work load. It feels a bit as if everything is always the same and nothing ever changes and I think it gets tiring. On top of that there is an underlying anxiety about life in general and how permanent these unwelcome changes are.

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  22. Keep doing what you are doing, Pete. Stay engaged. Write. Interact and exercise with Ollie. Promote ethical blogging standards and mentor young bloggers. And–when needed–take a break from blogging, but not from Ollie–of course.

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  23. I’ve been there Pete, it really helped to talk with a close friend, we’d go for a hike in the mountains and just talk for hours. It calmed me. Knowing people love and care for you helps too and you definitely have a supportive community. Sending my love and best wishes, Cheryl

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  25. Its the small things that, after a while and combined together, result in one big impact. This happened to me recently, lots of small things happened and then another one just pushed me over my limit. Don’t be so hard on yourself, we are always here, whether to read, be a listening ear or to help you get over a rough patch. You’re not in this alone 💚

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  26. I would offer advice, but I am just coming out of a downer mood, or at least I hope I am. In my case, I had to sit myself down and decide that this mood was foolish and tell myself that I needed to stop it. I chose to do things every day that I normally don’t do or do rarely as a way to distract myself from the mood and give myself something to feel accomplished about. Strangely this generally takes me away from my normal routine and the computer. Hang in there. Warmest regards, Theo

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  28. I am just spitballing here, old buddy, but I’d venture to guess your current mental state is mostly the result of aging and its affects.. the pandemic and all its side effects… and I am not sure how much your politics over there is incendiary, but over here the Trumpian misery and approaching election nightmare adds to our daily national emotional anxiety. It’s a healthy combination to support a bit of mental anguish for any of us old farts. I suppose part of what I am saying is that you’re certainly not alone as there’s many who feel as you do silently. Likely you will get a bevy of comments to support that… and that itself will be good as misery tends to love company in order to make misery bearable. Part of being human.
    We are spending way too much time.. us older folks… reflecting on our personal “good old days”. We get moody, broody, reflective. Hell, lately I’ve been remembering elements of my childhood I had thought long forgotten. Not so much singular events but very insignificant moments. There’s a young boy that comes in once a week… maybe two years old.. rather reminds me of me at that age. Blond hair, quiet, more observant. His mother was holding him and for some reason I seemed to recall random moments of my mother carrying me like that. Why? Was I just projecting or did I actually trigger a recall?
    Well… I typically end up shrugging it all off to some measure and attribute it all to being at the “put out to pasture” age of social irrelevance…. even though I have a full time job as an inconsequential and mindless-occupation, minimum wage, security guard in a county office that exists to take kids away from their parents; well, abusive parents. Generally speaking, because we are no longer part of the mainstream social and economic contribution, and lack the dreams and goals for some future event or personal improvement to our personal lives, we end up having these huge voids to fill not only with our time but also our thoughts… but having future plans or goals doesn’t seem to fit given there’s not a of of future left to make plans that far out.
    Well.. so much for the seeming futility of aging here. You have Ollie.. and he has you. BFF’s forever. Good thing. In fact, appreciate the smaller things more… elevate them. You have enough health to keep taking those walks.. you wake up in the morning and can still get vertical. You can still compose your thoughts and type on a keyboard. As you said.. you’ve managed to avoid Covid. You did some projects around the house. The extended world around you might be screaming chaos… but you’ve managed to keep your self organised. So… what’s your plans for 2021? Leave the long term goals to the young. Micro-focus just to the next year. Write it all down. In fact… share with the rest of us here what your 2021 goals you are planning. Sharing the therapy helps the rest of us. 🙂

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    1. Thanks for your thoughts, Doug. I am just back from walking with Ollie and concluded that it is almost certainly an ‘age stage’. I want things to be like they once were, and now have to accept that is impossible. Dealing with that realisation is the next stage of my life.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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      1. I would surmise that every single follower you have would prefer “things being like they were”… and their point of reference being a diverse timeline.
        Shifting moods and seemingly mindless thoughts is one thing, Pete. Lord knows I get them enough. If this gets too daily or more constant where it affects your quality of life… well, consider getting a checkup from a professional. Time is not on our side anymore so take care of your mental self as well as physical. Sometimes it’s simply a shift in what you eat.

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  29. Pete, these are challenging times for most of us. Last week when I hit bottom, it was just a mass of small things piled so high I could not see my way. I hope you are able to rise above the feelings. I agree with, Mary, it it does not subside, have your doctor check you out. It could be an imbalance easily repaired.

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    1. It was definitely an accumulation of small things, mostly domestic issues. Each one in itself was nothing, but one on top of the other just made me feel very fed up and overwhelmed. Then yesterday I just had to log off the PC and do something else to take my mind off everday life.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  30. I think it’s the combination of everything that has happened this year and the fact we still can’t see an end to it. After weeks of coping well with lockdown I now feel the lack of spontaneity is wearing me down. It wasn’t that we were always deciding to on the spur of the moment to go out for a meal but we could and now it feels like too much to organise with booking in advance. If you don’t start to feel more like yourself soon I think you should see a doctor and get checked out. In the meantime I send you good wishes.

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      1. I feel the same. We don’t go out much during the school holidays anyway, but after being kept close to home in the spring it’s all becoming a bit too much. I’m hoping that we will be able to walk on the beach and go out for a meal in September. The thought of heading into winter and being confined for another 3 months depresses me ☹️

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            1. I have booked a self-catering ‘lodge’, so we can take Ollie. But it is in the grounds of a hotel wiith a restaurant, and in a small seaside village with other eateries. So there will be no cooking. 🙂

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  31. I would imagine it is because you are human! I agree, having a dog as a companion has certainly helped me get through these strange times. There is so much unknown, and we humans do not like the unknown. Take care my friend. xo

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  32. I sometimes wonder why moods can hit up on you so weirdly. I woke up this morning feeling very sad, frustrated and angry. I have to admit being nauseous and in pain 24/7 at the moment certainly isn’t helping matters at the moment. Honestly though, it’s also that there is so much going on in this year that I guess people are just becoming more and more frustrated. I can see it everywhere. When I go out to get the groceries for my parents, a simple look at someone can set that person of for no reason. Tempers flare, more and more. I don’t know what it is with this year, but it’s determined to bring us down in some way or another.
    That said: it’s also human at times to have a bad mood Pete. Sometimes that can happen without reason. No matter how good things might be. I’m very glad at the fact that Ollie is still with you, and eventually, knowing you, you will turn the mood around again. So don’t worry about it: everyone enjoys the joy you bring with each post every day: I know I do😊 So I guess what I’m saying is: don’t worry tomorrow might be a better and brighter day again😊

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    1. Thanks, Michel When this has happened over the past couple of years, I put it down to getting older. But this seems different. Maybe I have been stuck in Beetley for too long now. I need to get out and about more.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  34. It’s all gone on too long and we’re losing summer.
    Let it go.
    Chill out for a couple of days.. Read a book; eat dark chocolate (good for your serotonin); forget about the workload (everyone needs a hoiday, even if you don’t go anywhere) and doze off when the spirit takes you.
    When you get back to it, delete EVERYTHING that isn’t absolutely vital (like bills) or positively enjoyable, before you get back into harness..
    Everyone deserves a break.

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  35. Dear Pete, we all have days with a bad mood. It will get better again. It’s good that Ollie is by your side.

    If you like listening to George Ezra then check out the video on You Tube, he performed “Listen to the man” with Ian McKellen. I always have a grin on my face and a good mood.

    If you don`t like it, listen to your favorite music. Maybe it will help you.

    And yes, red wine is absolutely okay.

    I wish you all the best, Irene

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    1. Yes, there is a feeling that everyone has to stick together. Except for all those young idiots going to illegal raves and street parties, who couldn’t care less about anyone over 30.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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