An Alphabet Of things I Don’t Like. G

~ beetleypete

Golf.

Golf, I just don’t get it. Walking around a manicured course hitting a ball to try to get it down a far-distant tiny hole. You might get it it the sand-pit, or it may fall into a water-trap. So what? If you want the exercise, go for a long walk along a nature trail instead.

Many golfers don’t even bother to get the exercise. They drive around in little carts, so they only have to walk a few feet to take their next hit. And most don’t carry the clubs any longer; using little trolleys, or paying someone else to carry them instead.

Then there are the clothes.

Okay, they might not wear this stuff anymore, but you have to be suitably attired even now.

And don’t get me started on watching this so-called ‘sport’ on TV. I would sooner watch paint dry on a wall.

I know that the top players can earn untold millions, but that still doesn’t attract me. I don’t like that ‘golf club’ atmosphere, or the fact that it seems to be almost compulsory in some careers to take up the game. ‘Deals done by the 18th hole’, and all that stuff.

Then there is the fact that some people who are obsessed with golf are just not my kind of people.

Sorry, golf fans. I don’t like it.

67 thoughts on “An Alphabet Of things I Don’t Like. G”

  1. I used to walk the borders of a few courses and collect the lost balls. At 50p or a £1 a ball, depending on condition and brand, it was possible to sell them at the car boot sales, or even just out of your car boot in pub car parks. Balls for beer 🙂
    I had a couple of friends who used to scuba dive the water obstacles on a few of the courses in Jersey once a year and donate the money collect on lost balls. They raised thousands of pounds every year 🙂

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  4. (1) I wonder if a golfer’s car of choice is the Volkswagen Golf?
    (2) The 19th hole is the gopher’s.
    (3) I’ve only attended one golf tournament. Justin Timberlake was the celebrity player. Since I stayed in one location, I can’t be sure that Justin avoided the trees and water traps.
    (4) Time travel, I just don’t get it. Warp speeding through the cosmic frontier, avoiding gravity traps, and hoping to slip one’s spacecraft into a distant wormhole.
    (5) For a long time, I mispronounced Titleist. I knew what a tit was, but a leist?

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  8. I’m with you on this. Him indoors enjoys watching it but is not fanatical about it. In 1979 I was working with Max Wall, John Carson in a lovely theatre company. All the men – actors and crew alike – came out with their golfing stories and had us in stitches. So give me the funny stories but you can keep the rest!

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  10. No, I don’t like golf either. Boring! There’s a golf course next to where we live and we have to cross it to get to the beach. Walkers are allowed to walk across it, but god help you if you stray off the designated path or your dog defecates on a green. The cows, on the other hand, are allowed to walk and poop all over it.

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  12. Pete, our current President criticized our previous President for playing golf…yet in the 4 years in office, our current President has golfed more than all previous Presidents combined, at a cost to taxpayers for security and travel in excess of $140-million. Shameful.

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  13. I suppose it is all in how one is introduced to the game. Three times people have taken me for a golf outing. It failed to take. The first time it could have been the thin layer of snow on the ground (we used orange balls). The second time it could have been the fellows in the group who seemed more intent on counting beer cans drained than strokes per hole. The third time it could have been the carrying of the bag in 100 degrees F heat. But, it did not take. Warmest regards, Theo

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  14. As a child I loved crazy golf and in my thirties I had a slight addiction to a golf computer game which I was really rather good at! But I have never played the actual game and I can’t understand what you get out of watching it. The snobbery of it turns me off, though maybe that’s just here and the US. Spain and the Algarve do alright from the game.

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    1. Crazy golf is 15 minutes of fun at the seaside. But Golf itself is almost like a religion to those involved in it. I just cannot for the life of me see the attraction.
      Best wishes, Pete. x

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  16. What I find absolutely stupid is that nearly everybody nowadays uses golf carts instead of walking – which is, to my mind, the only good about golf. But then, as you say, why do you need to drive a ball around at the same time and not just walk.

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  18. Not for me either, Pete. And I find it very annoying that golf courses are very exclusive and always in stunningly beautiful locations, and that means we can’t access it (those of us who like to walk, as you say). I’m sure I’d be terrible at it as well, but I don’t find it interesting to watch either.

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    1. The origin of that saying is still disputed. Here’s one vwersion.
      H. S. Scrivener, attributed the saying to fellow tennis players named the Allens.
      … my good friends the Allens … one of the best of their many excellent dicta is that “to play golf is to spoil an otherwise enjoyable walk.”
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  22. “And don’t get me started on watching this so-called ‘sport’ on TV. I would sooner watch paint dry on a wall”…well that pretty much is me and almost every sport so there is that😂😂
    I do like miniature golf but I’m with you on this sport. It has never in any way attracted me…and I don’t think it ever will! So far. most of the things you don’t like, I haven’t liked either!😂😂

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  26. I don’t have a problem per se with the game, having played it a bit when I was younger, but I hasten to add never as a member of a club [not being the ‘clubbable’ sort generally], and I was never good enough to satisfy my own perfectionism. I’ve never liked the elitism and the other social issues you cite: I think the golf club comes second only to the Freemasons with regard to opportunities for deal-making [ooh: controversial! 😉 ] The analogy about “a good walk spoiled” seems very appropriate in connection with rap music, which I just don’t ‘get’: I think of it as a good tune spoiled. Cheers, Jon.

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