This is the second part of a fiction serial, in 690 words.
When I had to ask Neil if he had a charger, he had a strange look of victory on his face. His perfecly trimmed and oiled hair repulsed me, and I wanted to mess it up, with a rough hand.
“I do have a charger, Darren. But you might want to think about bringing your own one in, or at the very least charging your phone while you are sleeping. Here. Take it into the storeroom, you can plug it in there”.
I thought that if I started hitting him now, the police would have to drag me off of him before I killed him.
While my phone charged, I had fifteen minutes to kill. I decided to throw caution to the winds, and go around the back of the building and enjoy a cigarette. If Janice could smell it on me, I would blame it on the crowded train carriage and hope for the best.
How was I to know that the Russians would turn up early?
When I went back inside, sucking two mints, Neil was euphoric. “Oh dear. Your Russian couple turned up, and you weren’t here. Janice has taken them up to view the apartment. I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes when she comes back down”. If I had been carrying a knife, I am sure I would have stabbed him, there and then.
Not once. Probably more than fifty times. Until I was sure he would never utter another word.
But I ignored his jibe, and checked on my ten o’clock clients. They had sent a text to tell me they were cancelling. I wondered if the day could get any worse.
Then it did.
Behind what would become the Concierge Station, red lights were flashing, and a high-pitched beeping sound was going off. Neil was finally in a flap, and on the phone to the Fire Brigade to confirm the alarm had gone through to them, as it should have done. He turned to me. “They are on the way! We have to follow the full fire evacuation procedure! Assemble fifty yards away, in the car park outside!”
There was only me and Neil, so we went outside as directed, and stood in the almost empty car park. I took the chance to light a cigarette, and smiled as I asked him. “What about the two Russians, and Janice?” He grabbed his phone, and dialled Janice, turning to me looking pale. “The lifts won’t work during a fire alarm. They will have to walk down. I’m sure they will be alright, if they take their time”. He shook his head at the phone. “She’s not answering”.
As he said that, there was a hollow boom from high above us, and we looked up to see a flash of yellow flame, followed by a plume of smoke reaching up to the top of the building. I took a drag on my cigarette, secretly hoping that the next thing I saw would be Janice deciding to jump, rather than burn.
The fire engines turned up before Janice appeared. It was a long walk down, and her smart suit was smoke-stained. The two Russians looked very exhausted, and walked to their limousine with white faces, ignoring the shouts of the firemen that they should be seen by the paramedics, who had just arrived.
I made a mental note that I had probably lost that sale.
Janice was remarkably calm, to give her her due. She was still on the ball too. “Darren, Neil. Get onto your next appointments. Cancel them, and try to rearrange. Whatever you do, don’t mention anything about fire and explosions”. Neil was straight on it, but I didn’t bother to tell Janice that my phone was still on charge in the store room, and the firemen were not about to let me in to get it.
When we saw the firemen had tackled the worst of the smoke and flames, I turned to Janice. ” I forget now, what apartment were they viewing, Jan?”
She didn’t even turn to look at me as she answered.
“Number three, on the seventeenth floor. 317”.
Ooooooh what a coincidence!
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There are quite a lot of coincidences in the first 10 parts of this serial, Ami. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Love it Pete. I’ll return for the rest tonight all being well.
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Thanks very much, Siobhain.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Ooooh, that’s picked up a notch or two quite quickly… It’s a good episode now to read 3 🙂 x
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Glad you enjoyed it.
Best wishes, Pete. x
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Ohh, that’s so good! C
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Thanks, Cheryl. Glad you liked it. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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That seems to be a story, with very wicked characters. But as stated before, you are writing close to real life. 😉
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Maybe not wicked, just ‘unfortunate’. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Nice job the story is getting more interesting. Darren was lucky his 10o’clock clients had already cancelled or he would have been in a fix.
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Thanks for reading, and leaving a comment. Glad you are finding it interesting.
Best wishes, Pete.
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This is good, Pete. You have me hooked after only two episodes. I hope he gets a chance to mess up Neil’s hair or suit.
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Thanks, Jennie. It might be some time before he meets Neil again. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Really? That’s interesting. Can’t wait to keep reading. Best to you, Pete.
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Haha! I want to mess up Neil’s hair too. “Come on, everybody takes a turn!”
Janice walked in full of fury. “Where were you? I had to take your clients because you weren’t doing your job!”
“Sorry, Janice. I was trying to beat that little snot Neil to a pulp with his phone. By the way, did you have any luck with the Russians? If you want, I’ll take it from here.”
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Have you been chatting to David Miller again, Pete? 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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This is really good…can’t wait to read the next part❤
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Thanks very much for your comment. Part 3 coming up today. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Darren isn’t all that likeable, is he? Which is probably just as well… 🙃
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I doubt there will be many people to like in this story, Audrey. It’s that sort of story. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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It is hard to imagine Darren lasting too long at this job. Love the story so far.
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Glad you like it, Elizabeth. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I wonder if Darren is going to carry a charger or a knife? Warmest regards, Theo
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Time will tell, Theo.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Intriguing.
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Thanks, Mary. I hope it continues to intrigue you.
Best wishes, Pete. x
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I’ll try to keep up this time, Pete. It wasn’t your writing that stopped me reading your last serial – simply exhaustion.
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I know that of course, Mary. Please do not concern yourself about my blog. Really!
Best wishes, Pete. x
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(1a) If I were in charge of that charger, I would charge people a fee to use my charger to charge their phone.
(1b) I once charged my phone. It defended itself heroically.
(2) Darren thought about killing Neil, but only ended up killing time.
(3) “How was I to know that the Russians would turn up early?” Next time, Darren, pay attention to the town drunk. He warned you, shouting: “The Russians are coming, the Russians are coming!”
(4) Overheard:
Neil: “I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes when she comes back down. They smell like strong tobacco!”
Darren: “Not true! They smell nice—like a spinning candy floss machine!”
(5) Overheard:
Policeman: “You’re under arrest for murder.”
Darren: “But I’m innocent! He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife fifty times!”
Policeman: “That excuse won’t fly here. Where do you think you are, Chicago?”
(6) According to the fire emergency manual, some assembly is required.
(7) How strange! She didn’t storm down the steps or show signs of stress. She just stopped, and stood there in her smart smoke-stained suit, silent and stoic, staring at the structure in shambles, before stating, quite simply, “Same old story. Substandard real estate.”
(8) After the little red dot on the alarm clock in Apartment 317 went supernova, someone was heard to shout, “Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!”
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Good film reference with The Russians.
And the ‘crossover’ into one of my Short Thoughts was a nice touch.
Best wishes, Pete.
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He should tell smarthy Neil where he can plug his charger. The spook must not be too ‘evil’ or it would have caused Janet to jump out the window.
I too am enjoying this serial, Pete.
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Thanks, Don.
If there is a ‘spook’, it might be revealed later.
Or… 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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A great chapter Pete! Love the direction this is going. “I made a mental note that I had probably lost that sale.” Love the understatement!
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Darren is not a ‘natural salesman’, John. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Ooh! I’m so excited to see where you take this!
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Thanks, Kim.
Part 3 tomorrow! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Interesting. I’ve read very little stream of consciousness literature. Well written. I’m getting a strong sense of his unpleasant psyche, but it’s too early to judge.
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Thanks, Pam. You will find out more about Darren soon.
Best wishes, Pete.
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This is cool, what will 3.17 deliver next?
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You will find out tomorrow, FR. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Funny and mysterious at the same time, love it 🙂
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Glad to hear you are enjoying it already, Eduardo.
Best wishes, Pete.
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