This is the sixteenth part of a fiction serial, in 728 words.
Two trips were needed to get the three boxes into my flat. I took the two lighter ones together, then went back for the heavier one. Before I opened any of them, I decided to make a detailed note of the contents on the record I was keeping on my laptop. So I fired that up, and got it ready.
*Box One. The lightest.
Contents;
One England Football Shirt. Size medium.
One pair of matching football shorts. Size medium.
One pair of football socks. Unwashed.
One yellow leather football. Partially deflated.
One Timex watch. Glass broken, not working.
One pair of football boots. Size eight. Muddy.
*Box Two. Next lightest.
Contents;
Assorted newspapers in plastic covers. Thirty in total.
Assorted photos, three in frames. Perhaps fifty in total.
Four very large fishing reels, line still attached.
Two boxes of large fishing hooks, assorted sizes.
One pair of heavy leather gloves. Well worn. Size large.
Two Post-Mortem reports, in plastic wallets.
A report from a Private Detective, in a blue folder.
*Box Three. The heaviest.
One VHS camcorder, large shoulder-mounted variety.
Four spare batteries for the camcorder.
One dedicated charger for the batteries.
Leads and plugs to connect it to the mains, and to a TV.
Six VHS tapes. TDK 30-minute chrome type.
Four more much bigger fishing reels, line still attached.
Six spare fishing lines. New in packets.
Four football achievement medals.
Two small trophy cups for football achievement.
Two small trophy cups for fishing.
I made the presumption that the football kit was my brother Terry’s. That was confirmed by finding his name on the cups. And the fishing trophies bore the engraving ‘Brian Cook’, meaning that the fishing stuff was to do with my dad. But it was the VHS camcorder and tapes that I went to first. They had to hold a clue, or so I thought. The camera battery was flat of course, but easily remedied by just plugging the huge camcorder directly into the mains.
Before I even put in a tape, I knew the bouncing ball noise and the way it had hit me in bed was something to do with Terry, and the whirring fishing line related to the dad I had never met either. But I wasn’t remotely scared, just interested. And I already knew enough not to mention anything to Sylvia Townsend next Friday.
I didn’t have a VHS player. Nobody had one of those anymore. But that didn’t matter, as the camera had a flip-out screen, and controls built into the body. I was thinking about how much my dad must have paid for this, back in the day. A substantial investment at the time. My mouth had gone dry, so I went into the kitchen to get a Diet Coke. Then I sat on the floor, wondering which tape to insert into the machine. There was no writing on the sides of the boxes, or on the actual tapes. So I just picked the first one off the pile. slid it into the camera, and pressed ‘Play’ on the side panel.
There he was. The brother I had never met. Not so much as seen a photo of him. He was in the garden, at least that was familiar to me. Kicking a football around with obvious skill, and running down in the direction of a small goal, which had been placed against the back fence. He was wearing the same football kit that was in Box One, and he looked nothing like me at all.
My dad appeared in shot, urging Terry on. Was my mum holding the camera now? I could never ask her. I had promised. In my family, a promise was a big deal. Brian looked much more like me. Tall, thick dark brown hair, and the same slightly crooked bump on his nose. That made me feel really weird, watching the dad I had never known, and him looking like a slightly older version of me. I stopped the tape, and ejected it.
I needed a drink. A real drink.
In the absence of beer, I searched out what was left of some Jack Daniels remaining from last Christmas.
Swallowing a whole glass of the JD, I reached for another tape.
It was going to be a long night, and I already knew I would be ringing in sick tomorrow.
It’s hotting up…good chapter, Pete with lots of detail I still can’t fathom where this is leading maybe dads not dead π x
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Dad not dead? Phew, I hope that’s the case. That would really liven up this story! π π
Best wishes, Pete. x
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Wouldn’t it just π I suppose stranger things have happened π x
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This is really good, Pete. You keep the suspense coming and add such interesting elements. I wonder what Darren will tell Sylvia.
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Thanks, Jennie. I suspect Darren intends to tell Sylvia nothing at all, and make her earn her money. π
Best wishes, Pete.
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Ah! Heβll just give her the number 317.
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It seems his mum has shared her important memories in the only way she could. Warmest regards, Theo
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Yes, unable to talk about it, she made sure he could find out for himself.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I’m loving this series! What a great touch having these tapes to see the part of life he never knew. My youngest son Dante used to watch all the family videos before he was born so he could relive the family memories before he was born! This is such a great chapter Pete! C
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Thank you, Cheryl. The VHS tapes were essential to provide some back story for Darren.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I am thinking too, this story is one of your best. Michael
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Thanks, Michael. It is very enjoyable to write.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Thank you, Pete! :-))
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*Pete
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Very engaging! I think this is one of your best serials so far, Pate.
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Thanks very much, Pete. I’m glad you are enjoying it.
Best wishes, Pete.
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This is one of your best stories, Pete. Intriguing and (so far) not gory.
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Thanks for your kind words, Audrey. Nothing gory to come, you willbe pleased to know. π
Best wishes, Pete.
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Very intriguing story, Pete. I’m having a hard time pining it down, which is good–I usually can figure out suspenseful tales fairly easily. The contents and implications of box 3 was very unexpected…and touching.
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Thanks, Pam. Quite soon, the connection will be revealed, and then the story moves in a slightly different direction for a while. π
Best wishes, Pete.
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Great writing, Pete. I enjoy your stories.
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Thank you for that, Stevie. I appreciate the compliment from you.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Pete these simply arenβt long enough and have me on the edge of my seat wanting more lol. Thank you
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I used to write 1500-word episodes of serials. But readers asked me to make them much shorter! π
Best wishes, Pete.
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I am excited about the private detective that she seems to have hired. Can’t wait to see why.
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All will be revealed, Elizabeth. Eventually.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Another terrific chapter Pete…
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Thanks, John. The back story is ‘opening up’ now.
Best wishes, Pete.
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This is a great story Pete…
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I am really enjoying writing this one. Thanks, John. π
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Ah, I am on tenterhooks now Pete. What on earth is the PI and PM all about. I forget now whether you told us how his brother and dad died.
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All Darren knew so far was that they died in an accident on his first birthday. That was mentioned previously. Sharpen those tenterhooks, Jude!
Best wishes, Pete. x
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Senior moment Pete. I’m having another period of not being able to concentrate on reading, but your short serials are just about fine. If only I could remember the early chapters π
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It was a brief mention, no need to worry. π x
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(1) What time does it show on the Timex watch. Could it be 3:17?
(2) Tom had a white soccer ball named Wilson that had been cast away on an island. Darren has a yellow football that has been put away in a box. Hopefully, the tapes will reveal Terry’s name for the ball. (The suspense is killing me.)
(3) “I don’t watch soccer games. I prefer tennis, see?” (Jack Daniel in his book, “Hold My Whiskey”)
(4) After watching Tim Burton’s “Big Fish” on TV, Brian Cook decided to assist the private detective investigating the disappearance of two soccer players that had gone for a swim. Cook was determined to snatch the ever-elusive catfish that had surely swallowed the swimmers. “That’s one whale of a catfish! Ain’t no small fry!” said Cook.
(5) All that fishing gear creates a reel mystery.
(6) I’m confused. Did Brian Coke also drink Diet Cook?
(7) At least Darren is honest about having a crooked bump on his nose. To deny it would be a crime.
(8) Darren swallowed a whole glass of Jack Daniel’s. Not unlike a giant catfish swallowing two soccer players whole.
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You had fun with the names. I had a feeling you would. π
Best wishes, Pete.
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Ooh! This is taking a path I hadnβt expected.
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Is that a good thing, or not? I’m pleased you didn’t expect it, either way.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Definitely good!
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I have been keeping up, Pete, but as NHS seems to have blocked all the sites I follow I couldn’t comment.
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That’s fine, Mary. I appreciate you still reading, what with everything else going on.
Best wishes, Pete. x
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Private detective and PM report…..not necessarily good, but not necessarily related this is going to be interesting, especially as Iβve missed most of the earlier episodes…better catch up!
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I hadn’t realised you were not caught up, Sue. You might need to go back to find out why the finds are important.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I stopped breathing as I read this one π
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I will take that as a compliment, and I am glad you started breathing again. π
Cheers, Pete.
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Yes the private detective adds another level of suspense and of course there is the supernatural element!
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Not long to go until you find out more, Janet. π
Best wishes, Pete.
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This is exciting, can’t wait to see how this plays out. Why is there a private detective I wonder!?
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You will find out why. π
Best wishes, Pete.
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