I was raised to cry if need be – but limit it, do it in private, else others will see you as weak and attack – I was also raised to not start a fight, but if one started with me? To finish it best as I could – – I’m not certain what era of ‘raising’ is the more realistic, but I’ve embraced, for myself, “cry if you need to – try not to upset others if you do and sometimes, you just can’t risk crying now and it must be done later – “
Yup, talking or ‘quietly waiting’ or disappearing all work – too – until I realized, nothing to do but ensure, the 3rd rule – LOL – – “You don’t always have to win – if you are cornered, you must only make them hurt enough they decide not worth picking a fight with you” – how that hurt is delivered, varies, and I hope, is refined by every adult – from “I was blocking your punches and accidentally (?) gave you a black eye, cuz my fists were clenched’ to “I’m not available to help you with that, just now.” 😀
I know for sure this is what said to my brothers when they were small, and it was accepted. But now I am so glad that we think differently and I don’t tell my nephew to “be a man” and “real men don’t cry”. It was old school and we can’t change that, but I am glad we learnt from the past. Have a great day!
I, personally, think it was sad advice. It may have been the same advice my father would have given my brother, but not advice I would have given my child.
Sounds like a part from “Rocky petite – The fighter of England”. Lol
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I decided not to take my dad’s advice, Michael.
Best wishes, Pete.
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At least for me it was the same.
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So sad and all too common.
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I decided not to take his advice, Jennie.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I’m glad you didn’t. Best to you, Pete.
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I think boys don’t cry and being a man are overrated. Men die of heart attacks twice more than women thanks to these old adage.
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I didn’t take his advice, Shaily. But it is still being given by fathers today.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Two bits of bad advice instead of comfort. It is hard to be a child. Warmest regards, Theo
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Yes, this made me think about my dad. I posted about him earlier, a repost from 2014.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Very similar words from my own dad, can’t say I took much notice 🙂
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Neither did I mate.
Cheers, Pete.
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“Stop crying now. Be a man!”
“But, Dad! Those raindrops keep falling on my head!”
I still remember those moments. But one day, all those moments will be lost in time like tears in the rain.
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A song, and a film. Well done, David. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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😢
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Sad
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I never did take his advice, Sue.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I was raised to cry if need be – but limit it, do it in private, else others will see you as weak and attack – I was also raised to not start a fight, but if one started with me? To finish it best as I could – – I’m not certain what era of ‘raising’ is the more realistic, but I’ve embraced, for myself, “cry if you need to – try not to upset others if you do and sometimes, you just can’t risk crying now and it must be done later – “
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Thanks, TamrahJo. I actually ignored that advice, and learned to talk my way out of confrontations.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Yup, talking or ‘quietly waiting’ or disappearing all work – too – until I realized, nothing to do but ensure, the 3rd rule – LOL – – “You don’t always have to win – if you are cornered, you must only make them hurt enough they decide not worth picking a fight with you” – how that hurt is delivered, varies, and I hope, is refined by every adult – from “I was blocking your punches and accidentally (?) gave you a black eye, cuz my fists were clenched’ to “I’m not available to help you with that, just now.” 😀
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My youngest son was always far too sensitive to argue with anybody at school. But because of his older brother, nobody argued with him anyway, lol.
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It must have been nice to have a bigger brother to look out for you. I was on my own, though I could sometimes rely on friends.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Me too, but fortunately I went to a girls’ school where the pupils weren’t aggressive, just catty.
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I know for sure this is what said to my brothers when they were small, and it was accepted. But now I am so glad that we think differently and I don’t tell my nephew to “be a man” and “real men don’t cry”. It was old school and we can’t change that, but I am glad we learnt from the past. Have a great day!
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Thanks, BGC. I didn’t take that advice, however well-intended it was at the time.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I know it’s popular advice, but I don’t agree with it.
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I didn’t either. Even aged 8, I didn’t think much of it.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I, personally, think it was sad advice. It may have been the same advice my father would have given my brother, but not advice I would have given my child.
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I never took that advice, Maggie. I learned to either avoid situations, or talk my way out of them.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Glad to hear that, Pete.
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i would probably say the same thing but it just breaks my heart.
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I am still not sure if that was good advice, Wilma.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Same lesson I gave my son.
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It didn’t work with me. I learned to talk my way out of it, most of the time. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Lessons from our fathers……sometimes ‘old school’ is the best way chuq
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We didn’t get on well, chuq. I might repost something about that this week.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I too did not get on well with my father….so I can understand….chuq
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This breaks my heart
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My dad was ‘old school’, Beth. I will reblog a previous post about him later this week.
Best wishes, Pete.
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