This is the ninth part of a guest serial, in 775 words.
The night before London, I barely slept. Knowing I was about to stay in London, in a hospital that I’d never been to nor heard of before now, for 5 days, to have a load of tests… I can’t describe how I felt, it’s not that I don’t want to describe it but I simply cannot think of a way to describe the feelings I had.
The initial plan was that Mum would be with me from Monday morning until Wednesday lunchtime, then Ewan would stay with me from Wednesday afternoon until it was time to leave on Friday. It broke my heart leaving Ewan on the Monday morning, I just wanted to stay at home, in the warm, cuddled up with Ewan. But I had to go, for the sake of my health.
Mum drove us to King’s Lynn train station, then we had to get the train to London King’s Cross. We got a taxi from the station to the hospital; we had no idea which way to go.
Upon arriving, it didn’t look like a ‘typical’ hospital. The entrance was quite small too. A man greeted us and Mum spoke to him, handing my appointment letter over to him so he could direct us to where we needed to go. He could tell I was freezing so he kindly let me go into a warmer room whilst he took Mum to the reception desk. I had my head down, for some reason, as we entered the room, but I turned to watch Mum shut the doors behind her. When I turned my head back, to face the room, I felt indifferent.
I was in their chapel.
I’m not a Christian, but I do believe there is a God. For the first time in over a year, I felt at peace. I acted selfishly and prayed for myself.
I prayed that by the end of my stay here, that I would have answers. Closure.
I prayed that God, and loved ones who have passed, would give me the strength to get through these tests.
I also prayed, that if nothing would become of my time being here, then I hoped I wouldn’t suffer much longer. I wanted to be free of pain and misery.
I know I was selfish. But all my life, I’ve been selfless and it had got me nowhere. Now was the time I needed to be selfish.
Mum, and the man who greeted us, came back in to take me onto the ward, where I would be staying for the next 5 days. I thought Moorfields was a maze, but this hospital was in a league of its own! Either that or Mum gets lost easily (Love you Mum!)
There were so many levels, corridors, all which seemed small and narrow. Quite daunting, actually.
We arrived at the ward, I can’t remember the name of it, and the kind man went to the reception desk to tell them I had arrived, we thanked him before he left to head back to the hospital entrance.
A nurse showed us into one of the side rooms, which we were told that’s where I would be staying. Obviously, everyone would love to have their own side room, so I was annoyed to then be told I wouldn’t be staying in the side room, instead I would be staying in a bay which was in direct view from the reception area.
Thankfully, it was only a small area which fitted 2 bays. There was a view, from the window, of a church or cathedral, from what I could make out.
The rest of Monday was spent settling in and meeting the Doctor who would be taking on my case for the week ahead. My hearing was at its worst so I asked others to communicate with me via a handheld whiteboard. He wrote down what tests I would have over the course of the week. He also said that he would need to do a blood test shortly.
Is it just me that when nurses take bloods, they aren’t really painful plus they are quick, but when Doctors take bloods, it takes ages and is really painful?
The blood test was enough to wipe me out for the rest of the day. Mum bought a load of crisps with us as, let’s be honest, hospital food isn’t that great! I can’t remember what I had for tea that Monday night. When I was settled in bed, it was time for Mum to go, she was booked into a hotel nearby.
I cried because I didn’t want to be on my own, I was scared.