This first line of a fictional short story was suggested by blogger and author, Jim Webster.
https://tallissteelyard.wordpress.com/
Bertram was slowly discovering that being dead for administrative reasons was not perhaps the success he had hoped.
It had seemed like a very good idea at the time. The six lottery numbers had come up, and the bonus ball. Not exactly a bumper jackpot week, but six million was enough to keep him very comfortable during his remaining years. Winning had its drawbacks though. Even refusing publicity, people were surely going to find out. Buy a new car, move to a bigger house, and someone was eventually going to notice. The begging letters would follow, and worse still the darker episodes in his past would undoubtedly surface.
Those ex-wives would be queuing up with their hands out, and he could think of a few young women who might be approaching the newspapers hoping to sell their grubby little stories.
Only one thing for it, Bertram Ponsonby had to die. Cease to exist. Disappear off the radar. Go completely off grid.
Week by week, he drew out as much cash as he could risk without alarming his very satisfied bank manager. By the end of the year, he needed two more suitcases in which to store the money. Then he gave some thought to his suicide note. He wouldn’t be the first lottery winner to be unable to cope with unexpected wealth, so his departure from this life would be no real surprise. He took a taxi to a local used car company, and paid cash for a nondescript vehicle. The salesman helped him load the five suitcases in the back, presuming he was taking a very long trip.
Which of course he was.
Bertram had left his modest house unlocked, his old car parked on the driveway, and the suicide note displayed prominently on the hall stand. When no bills were paid, and his absence was eventually noticed, he would be far away, and presumed dead. His body never to be found.
The first few years suited him very nicely. Travelling from hotel to hotel, occasionally renting a holiday home or short-term let for cash, using his new assumed name. He had chosen one he wished he had been given at birth, Richard Rogers. He had always liked the way that sounded, and how easily it rolled off the tongue. When meeting sexy young gold-diggers, he would smile and say, “Call me Ricky”.
Then came an unexpected encounter.
He was flagged down in a routine traffic stop. The car was registered to a Richard Rogers, with an address that came back to a luxury cabin rental in Scotland. Asked to show his driving licence, Bertram told the policeman that he had left it at home. The lawman’s suspicions were aroused, and upon searching the car, he found a large suitcase stuffed with cash. Bertram’s excuse that he didn’t trust banks was not acceptable to the young officer. He found himself in the back of a police van heading for the local custody suite.
Facing possible charges of everything from driving without a licence to money laundering, Bertram had no option but to come clean. He told a bored-looking detective the truth, and felt relieved to be able to explain it all away. After some checks, the cop returned with a colleague, both looking very keen. “So, Bertam Ponsonby is dead. Who are you, and where did you get all that cash? When they refused to believe him, Bertram insisted on a solicitor.
A woman who looked very young arrived a few hours later. She read through the notes quickly, and shook her head. “You are going to have to tell them the truth, or I can’t help you. Is there someone who can confirm you are who you say you are?” He thought for a moment. Ex-wives who would love to refuse to identify him. Young women who might tell tales that would get him in even worse trouble. Former colleagues he was sure still hated him. And nobody to really call a friend.
There was a lightbub moment. Frank Pardew would speak up for him. He had enjoyed himself at some of the seedier house parties Bertram had hosted, and could be counted on. He gave the young woman Frank’s details, and she went outside to make some calls. Back just five minutes later, she shook her head. “I’m afraid Mr Pardew died two years ago. Anyone else?” He thought for a few seconds. “The bank manager. He will remember me drawing out large sums of cash”. She left the room again.
“Your branch has closed down. The manager retired and nobody knows where he is. Besides, they won’t talk to me, or anyone else, about Bertram Ponsonby’s account as he is dead and his affairs remain intestate. Can you think of anything else?”
After some moments of silence, Bertram swallowed hard, gently shaking his head.
“No, nothing”.
A good start. Lol xx Michael
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Thanks, Michael. Betram didn’t think ahead.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Think i am sometimes like his brother in mind. xx Michael
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Reblogged this on OPENED HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Wow! Sucks being dead!
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In this modern world, being able to confirm your identity is so important.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Without my Adhaar card in India (something like social security number), I do not exist.
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Nice one Pete 🙂
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I left it open. You can decide what happened to Bertram. 🙂
Cheers, Pete.
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Clever! I really loved the twist!
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Thanks for reading, and leaving your kind comment too.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I think the opening line says it all in the end Well done. Warmest regards, Theo
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Thanks, Theo. I was trying to work back to that. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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The story is fascinating and engaging, as are all Jim Webster’s stories. First line fiction? Brilliant.
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Thanks very much, Jennie. I was very pleased that Jim sent me a line to use.
Best wishes, Pete.
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You’re welcome, Pete. You certainly should have been pleased.
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Very imaginative….chuq
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Thanks, chuq. I had to leave the ending open, as I didn’t want it to be too long.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Nice twist to the storyline, Pete. There is a downside to every foolproof plan it seems. I enjoyed this very much.
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Thanks, Maggie. Bertram wasn’t thinking ahead. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Well done Pete. As others have said this could have been the start of another serial. So are all your first line stories going to be 1000 words? You have set yourself quite a challenge.
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Loved what you did with the prompt Pete! Very clever! Warmly, C
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Thanks, Cheryl. I thought it was too much like the first part of a serial, but I’m happy if it worked for you.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Brilliant Pete! This would make for a good serial.
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I agree, it had all the makings of a much longer serial, but its destiny was to be a ‘First Line’ short story.
Best wishes, Pete.
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“Bertram Ponsonby? Let me check… He’s still on my To Do list.” (The Grim Reaper)
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Jim gave me Bertram, and I felt Ponsonby suited him as a surname. 🙂
The Grim reaper should let the police know that Bertie is not dead!
Best wishes, Pete.
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Karma….now what!
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It’s a one-off story, Carolyn. You will have to choose your own outcome for Bertram. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Maybe I could think of a few things but in the end I’d forgive him.
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That was a great story had me hooked from the beginning.🙂
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Thanks very much. I am so pleased you enjoyed it.
Best wishes, Pete.
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what a wonderful twist!
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Thanks, Beth. I am really pleased you enjoyed it.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Poor Bertram. The laws of unintended consequences will get us every time.
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Thanks, Liz. He didn’t think it through. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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You’re welcome, Pete. 🙂
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If it was easy, anybody could do it. A cracking story 🙂
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Thanks very much, Jim. Glad you liked how I used your line.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I did 🙂
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Good one Pete! Poor planning on Bertram’s part, should have kept an old passport or driving license that coulld have proved who he was! Or not carried cash around so obviously. Ah well he had a fun few years!
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Yes, he was far too impulsive! And he was not about to reveal that ‘dark past’, whatever that was… 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Just desserts in the end I think!
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
Pete’s post (and his many serial stories) are recommended reading 👍
You don’t want to miss out, so subscribe to his blog today.
BTW, Pete has an adorable dog name Ollie who also get featured regularly in posts 😃
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Thanks very much for reblogging, and such kinds words. Much appreciated, Chris.
Best wishes, Pete.
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My pleasure, Pete, I enjoy all your stories 👍😃
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OOPS – Nice one, Pete 👍😃
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Thanks, Chris. Jim set me a hard first line there. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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It had so many alternatives to choose from 😃
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You have turned those opening lines into a clever story, Pete.
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Thanks, Robbie. I found Jim’s line quite difficult, to be honest. 🙂
This was all I could come up with in under 1000 words. It might have been a good start to one of my serials though.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I thought it could definitely be the beginning of something really good.
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I could have fleshed it out into quite a few episodes, but the idea of the ‘First Line’ was a short story, so I stuck with that.
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