This is the final part of a fiction serial, in 928 words.
Checking out after breakfast, Jon drove the short distance to Aldenham. He would be there two hours too early, but there was nowhere else to go. He parked the Mercedes within sight of the church, and went through the notes and documents in his shoulder bag while he waited for the vicar to arrive. Not long after eleven, he saw William walking up the street and turning left into the path to the church. He grabbed the shoulder bag and car keys, arriving at the church door while the vicar was still standing just inside.
The tall man gave him a wide grin. “I thought you might be early. Come through and I will make us a cup of tea. There should be some cake left too. Some of my church ladies make delicious cakes”.
In the vestry was a small table with a kettle and mugs on it, and a mini-fridge underneath. William started to make the tea, but when he opened the big tin next to the kettle, there was no cake inside. He shook his head. “Apologies, I think I must have eaten the last piece yesterday. Go through and take a seat in the church, I will bring it through”.
Jon sat on the end of the front pew, feeling that cold air that always seemed to be found in any church. When he was handed the tea, he sipped it immediately, hoping it would warm him up. William stood his mug on the stone floor. “I have asked Amelia to call on me at twelve. I invented some church business. It turns out her daughter Eloise is staying with her at the moment, so I suggested she come too. You should have an answer to all of this by lunchtime”.
The tea was very milky, and the supermarket blend not to Jon’s taste at all. But he swallowed all of it as soon as it wasn’t too hot to do so. The church had given him a chill that he couldn’t seemed to shake.
He had no recollection of passing out, but as he came round, he was aware that he had been unconscious for some time. He was somewhere dimly lit, and he could hear people talking nearby, but could not make out what they were saying. There was a sharp pain in his mouth, and he thought he must have bitten his tongue, as he could taste blood. As he tried to sit up, he was stopped by something hard and metallic. Stretching out his legs, he hit something else with his feet.
It took a moment for him to realise he was in a cage. It was not that much larger than him, and there was a bucket and a toilet roll in the left hand corner, next to a large plastic bottle of still water. He shook the cage, but it was secure. Bolted to the stone floor, and the opening above secured by a substantial padlock. He heard a female voice clearly.
“He’s awake”.
Footsteps sounded on the floor, and suddenly Eloise’s face loomed into view just outside the bars. Standing behind her was Amelia, Roderick, and William. The vicar had such a wide grin, his teeth looked whiter than ever in the gloom. Jon asked them what they were playing at. Why was he in a cage. What was it all about. And finally, what had they done with Lolly. Eloise answered his last question first.
“We did nothing with your young friend, except to pay him handsomely for telling us where you lived, and allowing us to cut his tongue so he could lick some envelopes. Then he took his money and left, I assure you. By the way, your letters were very bad form, amateurish to be honest. As if we would believe the police would be interested in your fantasy”. Jon opened his mouth to speak, but she raised her hand to silence him.
“This is what you are going to do. I am going to put an envelope through the bars, and you are going to lick it. If you do that, we might give you something to eat. If not, we might just lock the door to the crypt and forget you are in here”.
She slid the envelope though. It was addressed in the same clumsy style. The recipent was Terence O’Connor, the American author of the best selling Mickey Mulligan private investigator novels. Jon licked the gummed flap and handed it back, asking Eloise again why they were doing this to him.
William the vicar stepped forward. “We had no luck with our detective novel. Your snotty agent rejected it. So we are changing genres. This time, it’s going to be a Horror novel, based on first-hand research. You are the subject of that research, and perhaps Terence O’Connor too, if he can work out how to get to Aldenham, as you did. So just stay calm, and who knows, you may be famous again. If only by default”.
All four of them started to laugh out loud, and Jon slumped back against the cage.
His one hope was that Claudia would put two and two together, and send the police searching for him. He had changed the names and locations in the story, but Claudia had written the real ones down when they spoke, and knew about Eloise and her rejected manuscript. But that could take a long time, and he had no idea how long he had left.
Meanwhile, he was wondering what Inspector Johnson would do now.
The End.
This is horrifying Pete, he’s become the caged subject of a horror novel, oh my, and our friendly vicar was in on it all along. I never expected this ending! What happened to happily ever after…C
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I’m so pleased you didn’t expect the ending! I rarely do ‘happy ever after’, you should know that by now, Cheryl. 🙂
Thanks very much for catching up.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Oh, no! This was quite a twist, and the vicar was in it all along. I never expected this ending. Well done, Pete!
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Thanks, Jennie. I am very glad you didn’t guess the ending.
Best wishes, Pete.
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It was a complete surprise!
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Nicely, and very chillingly wrapped up Pete…he walked right into that one with no ability to see what was coming!
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Glad to hear you didn’t guess the ending.
Thanks, John.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Ahhhhh…that was a macabre little twist, Pete… Well Done 🙂 xx
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Thanks, Carol. Glad you enjoyed the ending.
Best wishes, Pete. x
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That’s some crazy unexpected twist Pete, mind you I said their might be someone behind one pf them many doors in the church; Good old Hammer style ending 🙂
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I went ‘retro’ with this one.
Cheers, Pete.
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(1) Riddle
……Q.What type of horror story does the VICAR prefer?
……A. One that features VI-cious CAR-nage.
(2) “Jon sat on the end of the front pew, feeling that cold air that always seemed to be found in any church.” Which makes you wonder why there’s need for a mini-fridge.
(3) Email to partners in crime:
Dear Amelia, Roderick, and Eloise—
As for all those successful authors of private investigator novels, LET THEM EAT CAKE!
Yours,
William
P.S.–Actually, the cake’s all gone. Too bad, eh?
(4) The vicar put something else in the Valerian tea. Rohypnol? GHB? Ketamine? Poisoned apple juice? Drops of blood from a finger pricked on a spinning wheel’s spindle?
(5) Overheard:
Jon: “Let me out of this cage, you filthy heathens!”
Vicar: “Such language in a church! Bite your tongue, sinner!”
Jon: “I think I’ve already done that.”
Vicar: “Actually–”
Jon: “Bloody hell, vicar! Let me out! Cut me a break!”
Vicar: “Sorry, Jonny Boy! I only cut tongues!”
(6) “Like a golfer who gets a free shot after a bad play, whenever Mickey Mulligan botches an investigation, he’s given a chance to take another swing at it.” (Terence O’Connor)
(7) Jon hoped that Claudia would put two and two together, but she was more interested in playing another round of golf. “FORE!”
(8) Ridley is in a very rough spot. As for Inspector Johnson, he’s got an ace in the hole: Sergeant Chen.
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I like how you managed to get Golf in there. Still working out how you did that. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I remembered that “mulligan” is a golfing term.
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That would have been totally lost on me, David. 🙂
What I know about golf can be written on a golf ball.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Well, bugger me, I was not expecting that ending! I’m never going to trust a vicar now 😉 The ending has really thrown me off track yet, I still can’t believe it! This is your best serial yet, Pete 🙂
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Thanks, Ami. I’m glad you liked it so much. I had fun writing it, but I have personally preferred others of my serials to be honest. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete. x
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I had a feeling it might be a trap of some sort, but didn’t think it would turn out like that. Nice twist!
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Thanks, Jeanne. So far, nobody guessed the ending. That is pleasing to me. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Well that was a shock, but I love the ide of an evil vicar, a true gothic horror story.
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Thaks, Janet. I did leave a small obscure clue, when the vicar told Jon he liked Horror fiction.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Gosh! This only could happen in the UK. Lol What a couple in crime, and – who thought reverse – a priest in the middle of it. 😉 Hey, Pete! I never had thought on such an ending. xx Michael
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Glad to hear you did not guess the ending. Yes, it was a very ‘English’ story I hope. That’s what I was trying for.
Thanks, Michael, and for all of the reblogs too.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Well done, Pete! Thank you for your efforts, and excuse my late revisit. Best wishes, Michael
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Never a problem for me, Michael. 🙂
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Reblogged this on OPENED HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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i was thinking that it might be a trap and it is william eliose all set up a trap for him in the church a good story pete well written and it could ha e been another ending too .
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Thank you. Yes, it could have had a very different ending, but I left it open so people could hope that Jon might be rescued.
Best wishes, Pete.
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As I started reading I thought “oh no, that vicar is going to drug him”, but I would never have guessed the rest. Poor Jon. Hope he gets rescued.
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I put the vicar in the frame from the start of this part, but I was hoping nobody would guess why.
Thanks, Carolyn.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Oh, I wasn’t expecting that little twist at the end. Let’s hope he manages to escape from the cage…
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I am so glad to hear you were not expecting the ending. Thanks, Stevie.
Best wishes, Pete.
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That the vicar was in on it never entered my mind. Well done. Warmest regards, Theo
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Thanks, Theo. I tried to divert readers’ attention to Alanah, though the vicar became a little obvious much closer to the end. 🙂
(I gave an early clue of sorts, when he told Jon he enjoyed Horror fiction)
Best wishes, Pete.
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WOW – Great story and twist at the end, Pete, thoroughly enjoyed reading it – you really should consider publishing this and the others – Amazon make it fairly straightforward to do. 😃
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Thanks very much, Chris. I’m glad you liked the ending.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Not at all what I expected – though to be honest I had no idea what to expect 🙂
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Thanks, Mary. I hope you were not disappointed with the ending, but I am very glad to hear you didn’t know what to expect. That was my plan all along! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I thought that something bad would happen to John, but the ending did surprise me. Lets hope Terrence O’connor will have mor sense than John! Best wishes. Kevin
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Thanks, Kevin. I am happy if you were surprised. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Wow! That was quite the ending. I did almost shout out, don’t drink the tea. Well done!
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Thanks, Darlene. Glad you enjoyed the ending.
Best wishes, Pete.
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It kept me engaged to The END. Good job.
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Thanks very much, Kelly. I am delighted to hear that.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Lovely twist at the end, Pete: I had a feeling that the vicar could be a wrong’un! Well done, and I’m glad my first line proved to be fruitful! Do you think Inspector Johnson stories could be a useful sideline to pursue? Keep up the good work, cheers Jon.
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Inspector Johnson might be an idea for a serial later on, Jon. I really appreciate that your first line gave me the idea for this serial. I very much enjoyed writing it.
Best wishes, Pete.
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You’re very welcome, Pete 😀
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wow, what a dramatic twist to this ending! well done –
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Thanks very much, Beth. I am very pleased that the ending was a surprise for you.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Wow Pete! A twist to be sure that any reasonable person couldn’t have seen coming.
The evil of man exposed at the ending of the few serials I have read makes me feel so much better about having achieved a very high degree of combat marksmanship competence and situational awareness as I quietly go about my day whilst covertly armed 95% of the time. . . 😉
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That wouldn’t work for you in England though. You would get a long stretch in prison for carrying a concealed firearm. 🙂
Thanks, Chris.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Yup, but I live in Arizona. And being stupid, and loyal, I spend the summer of ’76 helping protect one of my cousins, same age as me, that had been attacked (stabbed 9 times) and nearly died days before I arrived for the summer. I was armed until the day I flew home. Ever since, multiple members of my family in London have been armed. Two have done prison time for being armed at the wrong time, and one avoided serious prison time even after shooting someone.
As your enjoyable writing so poetically exposes, this existence is one filled with evil. As such, I go about my life protected by the Armour of God, but more in the style of a Templar Knight than a choir boy.
Cheers,
CT
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Blimey! Definitely didn’t see that coming…… 😳
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I am extremely pleased to hear that, Sue. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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😄
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I knew there was something dodgy about the vicar.
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Isn’t there always something dodgy about vicars? I did give an early clue, when he told Jon he preferred to read horror books. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete. x
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I’ve been to Aldenham, not surprised at the ending. 🤣🤣 seriously, I wasn’t expecting that!
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If you were not expecting it, then that makes me happy. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Ahh I wish there’d be more to this story, but it was amazing yet!
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Thanks very much, Devangi. Once the final showdown happened, there wasn’t much more to add. Thanks for reading it all, and for your valued comments.
Best wishes, Pete.
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