Sunday Musings For Mother’s Day

Today is Mothering Sunday in the UK, and that was combined with the clocks going forward one hour. As often happens, this made me stay in bed one hour longer than usual, and I will be feeling like I am catching up for the rest of today.

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I am sending greetings and best wishes to every mother who reads this blog. We only have to focus on recent awful events in the world to see just how determined mothers are, and that there is nothing they wouldn’t do to protect and nurture their chiildren. Not everyone had/has a good mother, but their bad luck was a rarity.

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My own mother died in 2012. She died in pain and distress, in a side room of a hospital ward. I had sat next to her bed for some hours that night, before returning home exhausted. In the early hours, I was telephoned by a nurse to tell me she had died around 1:30 am. I was relieved that her suffering was over, and upset that I hadn’t chosen to stay by her side until her last moments. I can never take that back, and make a different choice.

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This photograph of my mum was taken in 1939. She was 15 years old, and already working full-time since she left school at 14. She smiles at the camera, her teenage life spread out before her, the hopes and dreams we all recognise are present in her eyes. Three months later Britain was at war, and my mum’s life changed forever.

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She will never be forgotten. When I am gone, my younger family members will remember their aunt, and their children will be told tales of her. One child is even named after her, to continue my mum’s legacy.

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As for me, not a day goes by without remembering something good about my wonderful mum. That’s as it should be.

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I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday.

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73 thoughts on “Sunday Musings For Mother’s Day

    1. I am certain that they will, Robbie. On top of being a great mum, you have created a literary legacy for them to last them all their lives, and the lives of their children too.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  1. I know the ache and understand it’s a pain. One learns to live with the passing of one’s mother, but it is not easy. Your wisdom to remember the positives of her life is what’s important. That picture-wow, you are the spitting image in the face. Especially the eyes. Thanks for sharing a painful topic.

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  2. (1) Shoot the clock with a Glock. Problem solved!
    (2) Eve was the mother of all mothers. Her daughters and granddaughters and so forth and so on were the apple of her eye. And there’s no sin in that. Or is there?
    (3) Life is full of choices. And some of them are a lot more serious and consequential than simply deciding between Ginger and Mary Ann.
    (4) There’s a scene in “37°2 le matin” (“Betty Blue”) where Eddy, having lost his mother, contemplates the few photographs there is of her, and laments the fact that little remains of one’s precious life.
    (5) I suppose all family trees have branched out over time, but by doing so many living members of the tree have become so distant from each other that they are unaware of their relationship. And even then, not all relationships are strong or durable. And sometimes there are no direct descendants to carry on the family name. Legacies can be fragile after a couple of generations, and not all survive.
    (6) Memories of someone only last a couple of generations. Accounts of those memories can be passed on, however.
    (7) I hope you enjoy sifting through all your memories today.

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    1. As I have never had children, I am long resigned to being forgotten one day.
      I was looking at a photo of my mum earlier, taken on her 70th birthday when she was the same age I am now. She lived another seventeen years after that, five of those in pain and distress from illness and part-blindness. If I have only twelve years left to me, that will be more than I ever anticipated, and probably just enough. But it’s still a sobering thought to consider.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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    1. My pleasure, John. Mother’s Day is one of those ‘special days’ that I agree with celebrating. Unlike ‘National Pipe-Wrench day’, ‘National Cinnamon Stick day, or National Cucumber day’. 🙂
      Best wishes, Pete.

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    1. It certainly is, Don. We rarely exchanged a bad word in the sixty years I knew her. She supported me through two divorces, and worked two jobs until she was in her seventies. All mums are great, but those wartime ladies were a special breed indeed.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  3. Lovely photo and tribute, Pete. Your mum had a similar life to mine – they were both teenagers during the war and left school at 14. We’ve been out with one son all day, and now we’re just about to go out with the other one. It’s cool being a mum!

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        1. Two restaurants in one day is my idea of heaven. Mind you, I am not one for eating at lunchtimes as a rule. I am cooking Julie a classic roast dinner for this evening, a chicken with all the trimmings. 🙂

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          1. Sounds great. Sam never cooks, but I can’t complain as he does all household repairs and has saved us thousands of pounds over the years. He’s a dab hand with a hoover too, lol. Time to go and eat again…. back tomorrow.

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  4. I saw your picture recently and I think you took after your very attractive mother. She looks much more than 15, but children had to grow up fast then. The war must have been terrifying for her. I can imagine how you felt, when you heard she had died so soon after you left. I have read that sometimes people will it to happen that way, who knows for what reason. I was with my dad when he died but nothing changed between him being there and not. It was very unsettling . Lovely tribute to your mother.

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    1. Thanks, Carolyn. The DNA in my maternal family is strong. I do have many of her features, and I am identical to her younger brother, (now deceased) her father, and three of my younger male cousins.
      My mum was mostly terrified during WW2. They lived in sight of the docks, in Bermondsey, and the area was bombed relentlessly. She had to spend every night in a shelter for almost two years.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  5. I echo earlier comments. My husband and his two brothers sat with their mom for about a month at the end. But when the time finally came each was out of the room. Knowing what a private person my mother-in-law was, I understood. Thanks for recognizing the tiger mother in most of us that would walk our kids to safety no matter the distance as so many have done in Ukraine.

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  6. My own mother Blanche died at fifty-five of cancer of the larynx. To say I was heartbroken doesn’t even begin to tell you how I felt at the time. Had she lived mum would be one hundred and seven in May…

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    1. That’s sad to hear indeed, Jack. My wife’s mum died when Julie was just three years old. She was raised by a step-mum she didn’t like very much, and doesn’t speak to now.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  7. A very moving tribute, Pete. I am sure she knew you had been thinking of her even if you were not there (and we all know our mothers would always tell us to look after ourselves first). Thanks for sharing this with us and for dedicating the post to all mothers (here in Spain, Mother’s Day is in May, father’s Day the 19th of March, but the date does not matter). Enjoy a great Sunday!

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  8. What a lovely tribute to your mum. The photo of her is lovely. Over the time I have followed you, your love for her has always shone through. I cannot imagine all she had to endure in her young life watching war unfold on her doorstep. I am sure she was extremely proud her son.

    I send best wishes to Julie on this Mothering Sunday.

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    1. Thanks, Christina. It is the only photo I have of her as a teenager. As you can see, it is sadly degrading now. One reason why I photographed the print to be able to keep the digital image.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  9. Very moving tribute. If it helps, there’s a theory (borne out by some examples) that dying people often wait till their loved ones leave the room before they go. This happened to a friend of mine whose wife died recently

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  10. Just so you know, Pete, many folks decide to pass after everyone has left. It is a personal thing for them. Once you left her side, she then had permission to leave this world. My dad did the same thing She knew you loved her and that was enough. I will always feel bad about not being able to say goodbye to my mom due to the pandemic, but I know she knew I loved her and always will. Your mom was a gorgeous young girl, I love that picture. Happy Mother’s Day to your good wife.

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