Megha is originally from India, and now lives in Holland. She has been blogging for some time now, and is still not getting as much interaction as she would like. I am happy to present her guest post today, and hope that many of you will visit her blog and read more.
I am Megha. (Mythologically meaning cloud. Not Mega (as they like to spell my name in Starbucks)
I started my blog (www.myhandwrites.com) two years ago with an aspiration to get better at writing. My blog was first introduced by Pete in 2020 and I am thankful to him for his generosity.
My blog is my creative hub that helps me make sense of the world. My writings are inspired from my day-to-day life.
Personally, I have keen interest in psychology and Human behaviour. I would like to write more about it.
I love travelling. I am an avid reader and I love solving problems. (Assuming there is a problem to solve of course) 🙂
This blog really is a guinea pig of my creative ability.
Feel free to judge and share some feedback.
Keen to hear your thoughts.
BEING OVERLY COMPETITIVE
Ever met someone in your life whose sole purpose of living seemed to compete?
Did you not wonder what keeps them going?
What was it with their unstoppable desire for power?
When would they be at peace?
I was born in a third world country where competition was inculcated from a naive age. It was hard to do things for the sake of doing. You did what you did coz it earned something. Everything else was deemed worthless.
Competition was a requisite to earn money. Money meant success and success brought happiness. Wasn’t that the key to living?
At least that’s what I grew up believing!
Later in my twenties, I moved to Europe.
I was amazed with the pace of life. Honestly, taken aback a bit. 🙄
People were satisfied with what they had. It didn’t matter what you did coz whatever you did earned a living. With that being sorted, there was time to discover likes (& dislikes). Whatever that meant! 🧘♂️ Success was more than money. It didn’t mean relentless chasing.
For the first time in many years, I stopped to examine the purpose of living.
What I learned in the process helped me pin down the roots of competition. In this post, I share my hard earned two cents of wisdom.
Comparison drives competition.
“What do you want?” is a scary question for most people. We are barely aware of what we want in life, let alone understand our purpose of living.
People define success by looking at what others want. Their concept of self-worth is based on external validation. As they compare and compete, surreal benchmarks of happiness get defined each day.
Key to remember though is that comparison comes from a place of insecurity. When we’re not sure of what we want, we look at what others want.
Competition, my mate is driven by Ego (mostly).
You’d be lying to say you have no ego. It’s that part of your personality that protects your unique identity. When “me” starts feeling put down, the competitive side kicks in. You won’t care what others think, say or feel, coz you’d want to believe you are right. You’d compete to prove yourself, to re-assure your identity. (to save your ego)
But does that make it a wrong reason? Err… I say no.
Ego is merely a self defence mechanism to protect your emotional well being. All it does is reinstate the fact that YOU exist, you are unique and you are right. It therefore drives you to compete, to put yourself out there in that chaotic world, where everyone else is also learning to co-exist.
Beware that some people are more egoistic than others. Naturally, they are therefore more competitive. Extreme ego leads to narcissism – one of the traits of overly competitive.
So, how do you know if you are an overly competitive person?
So one thing I’ve learned is that there is nothing wrong in being competitive.
Competition gives you a nudge to be your best self.
Being overly competitive though is problematic.
It affects YOU (without you realising it) and those around you (without you acknowledging it).
Ask yourself three questions.
1. Are you constantly thinking about getting ahead of someone?
2. You don’t worry how others feel about your chase?
3. Do you feel stressed emotionally and maybe physically?
Are you a sufferer making those around you suffer? (Irony, that is).
What would it take for you to realise this?