Move Closer?

A dilemma for those with grown-up children. Stevie asks the question many of us think about.

Stevie Turner

As we get older a question that often surfaces is … ‘should we move closer to our children?‘ (this could be changed to brothers, sisters, nieces or nephews for those who are not parents). It’s a tricky one indeed, and I’ve seen evidence that it doesn’t always turn out the way that was originally planned.

Sam and I are still thinking about whether to retire to the Isle of Wight. Neither of us want to be a burden to our sons or daughters-in-law, who are all at work during the week. The move is rather tempting, especially as we’ve found that some couples who moved closer to their children and grandchildren have now regretted it. Okay, it’s nice to have back-up in case of emergencies, but then again there’s the guilt at calling a relative out in the middle of the night or possibly feeling the relative’s resentment…

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14 thoughts on “Move Closer?

  1. I like this post because of personal experience.

    My cousin, Jeanette, lived in a really nice upscale home in a gated community for years and years and was reasonably happy.

    One day she started losing memory, starting fires by ignoring the hot cooking stove, and becoming more and more unable to do simple things .. and ended up moving across the street from here son in an equally prestigious neighborhood.

    The idea was that as she became sicker, the son and daughter in law would do a lot of wonderful things to help her out — bring meals, mow the lawn, help with sorting medications, fixing things around the house …yatta-yatta-yatta!

    In what seemed like no time at all, her choice to move across the street from her son turned into being confined in an assisted living facility where her condition continued to deteriorate and today she is in a regular around-the-clock nursing home.

    Out of sight and out of mind.

    Parents are highly disposable in today’s society.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sorry to hear about that family situation, John. By contrast, I do know many old people who are very well looked after by their adult children. But your story is also very familiar.
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Liked by 2 people

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