American blogger and author David Miller will be familiar to many of you from his ‘punning’ comments on my posts as ‘lividemerald’.
Over on his own blog, he specialises in limericks, and also photos of Nevada, where he lives. https://millerswindmill.wordpress.com/
Today, he has sent me some jokes, to lighten the mood.
THE DEVIL’S JOKE BOOK, PAGE 1
“It’s really hot in Hell today.”
“Yeah, so what else is new?”
“Another hot day in Hell.”
“You can say that again!”
“The weatherman is saying that Hell is going to freeze over tonight.”
“You must be new here. The sun never sets.”
“There’s a post office in Hell?”
“Of course! Now, hurry up! Go buy me some Forever Stamps!”
“You mean there’s a bowling alley in Hell?”
“You bet there is!”
“Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!”
“I heard the Devil bought a Pomeranian and named it Snowball.”
“You heard wrong. He bought a Pit Bull and named it Fuego.”
“Mom, I have a new pen pal from Down Under!”
“Oh, I’m so happy for you! What’s his name?”
“Bubby Beelze!”
Train Station Announcer: “All aboard the soul train!”
Husband: “Oh, man! I’m dying to get on that train!”
Wife: “That’s the spirit!”
Husband: “I just hope the train arrives on time.”
Wife: “Where you’re going, it’s never late.”
Husband: “I’ve heard it’s the best way to go.”
Wife: “Absolutely!”
Husband: “I also heard that Mr. Thorn is one hell of a train conductor!”
Wife: “No doubt.”
Husband: “The only thing is, I’m a little worried about the hotel.”
Wife: “Why is that?”
Husband: “No fire escape.”
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beetleypete 
Thanks for the share. Very appreciated, because listening to the news i am more and more loosing my temper. xx Michael
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Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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I appreciate David’s puns and jokes when I’m following one of your serials. Some of his comments are hilarious. You two should do a comedy act. You would be the straight man, Pete.
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Oh yes, some of his ‘ouch’ puns would leave me very straight-faced, Pete. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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There is an actual place called Hell. We went there when we were on a Caribbean cruise. Can’t remember whereabouts in the Caribbean, but there is definitely somewhere with that name.
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Grand Cayman. 🙂
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell,_Grand_Cayman
Best wishes, Pete.
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Ah yes, thanks Pete. That’s when we had the ride of death on the tender back to the cruise ship.
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He’s very clever!
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Thanks for reading, Carolyn.
Best wishes, Pete.
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An ambulanceman dies and is sent to hell. There he says to Satan “I think there has been a terrible mistake. I’m too young to die. I’m only 40 years old.”
Satan replies “According to our calculations you’re 90 years old.”
The ambulanceman asks: “Where did you get that age from?”
Smirking, Satan says:
“We added up your time sheets”
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That one could have applied to Fulham in the 1980s, Gavin. 🙂
Cheers, Pete.
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