Trying For A Sibling

~ beetleypete

I woke up late this morning, after a warm and uncomfortable night. I was in the middle of a rather ‘feverish’ dream as my eyes opened, a dream in which I had remembered something long forgotten.

It is strange how the mind works.

Regular readers will know that I was an only child. I was the only one in my extended family that had no brothers or sisters, and all of my friends had at least one sibling, sometimes many.

During my youth, I fluctuated between being grateful that being an only child was a bonus, and wishing I had a brother or sister to play with and to keep me company. So when I was nine years old, I tried to do something about that.

By then, I already knew how babies were made, and where they came from. We all spent enough time with older boys and girls to have been told the basic facts of life. When I was eight, I asked my mum why she never had more children, so I could have had a brother or sister. She told me the truth, straight out.

“Well your dad didn’t really want children, so after you were born, he said ‘one is enough’. My mum was always honest with me.

Almost a year later, an older boy on the estate where we lived was showing off a packet of condoms. We called them ‘Rubber Johnnies’ back then. He was boasting about sex that he probably hadn’t had, and said something that stuck in my mind. “You have to check them for little tears or holes, otherwise the girl can get pregnant”,

One day after school, before my parents got in from work, I made a quick search of their bedroom. I found a large box of Durex brand condoms in a bedside table drawer. Inspecting inside, I took out the first three condoms still in their wrappers, and pierced each one a few times very carefully with a pin from my mum’s sewing basket.

Convinced I would soon be having a brother or sister, I replaced them exactly as I had found them, then waited.

I am still waiting. My plan failed, and I remained an only child.

50 thoughts on “Trying For A Sibling”

  6. Another only child here. The funny thing is that when I was a young child I wanted to have an older brother, although I soon became aware that would be impossible (well, as far as I knew at the time. Of course, the possibility that I might have had one that nobody knew about didn’t cross my mind. To the best of my knowledge that wasn’t the case either…). I wasn’t that fond of younger kids, and in my case, my father didn’t want any more children either. (He wanted a boy but, hey, you can’t win them all). I never thought about the option, but well, perhaps your father did check the condoms as advised, and wondered how they got so many faulty in a package… Great anecdote!

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    1. Thanks, Olga. It might just have been that my mum didn’t fall pregnant, or as you suggest, my dad checked the condoms. But as it turned out, I was very happy to be an only child as I got older.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  7. Oh, Pete, this post made me laugh. What a naughty thing to do. Imagine if your mom had become pregnant as a result, goodness me! I have four half sisters and a half brother. Three half sisters are my dad’s children and live her in SA. The half brother and half sister are my biological father’s children and want nothing to do with me. They live in the UK.

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    2. My husband is an only child, too (I have 2 younger brothers). When I asked him if he ever wished for a sibling, he just laughed with a resounding “No”! He loves being the only one getting both of his parents full attention! 😊 Although, I’m competition now LOL

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  10. Pete, I was tempted to be Gavin and make some condom jokes, but there is a time when you take things seriously. I had 4 sisters, 3 of whom don’t speak to me and other missing possibly died. When mum died my sisters never told me – and there is worse, I won’t complicate things with here. I may have had a brother when mum was a teenager but attempts on that have failed. Mum & dad were chalk & cheese and didn’t actually get on well.
    So Pete, I wish I had no siblings – but on that basis – I wouldn’t have had been born, which at times might have been a blessing!

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    1. I have had mixed experiences of siblings with my 3 wives. The first got on well with her younger sister, the second got on well with her older brother. But my current wife is ‘up and down’ with her two older sisters. They often don’t speak to each other for ages, and one of them has never spoken to me at all. 🙂
      Best wishes, Pete. x

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  14. That is so cute. Did you ever tell your mother? (years later perhaps) When I was a child, I sometimes wished I was an only child. I had three younger brothers, and although they could be a nuisance when we were children, I love them to bits now and am so glad I have them. I know they always have my back. Always.

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  15. Only child as well. I found out a bit later in life my mother did try to have a second child but could not. I have mixed feelings on whether it would have been more fun to have a brother or sister, but if I absolutely had to vote one way or the other I would “take a chance” on having one.

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  17. That’s what I call being proactive! I’m an only child too. My mother told me that I was an ‘evil’ child and apparently by the time I was 3 I’d put her off having any more children for life. I think I must have had a few ‘terrible two’ meltdowns, lol.

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  18. I have an elder brother but when my dad took work abroad, Peter stayed in boarding school and I went to Asia. After that I seldom saw my brother and I was sent to the States so our lives became as different as night and day. It makes me sad sometimes. I met a girl a bit younger that me and we got on famously but of course our lives also went different ways. I so wanted to be her sister, be a part of her family. I wrote to her but she was not much for letter writing. I still think of her all these years later. Her parents were very good to me. It is important to have a sibling or at least a close friend, as a child.

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