Visiting My Mum

When we lose loved ones, they live on in our memories. In my case, they often appear to me in dreams too.

I went to bed before midnight last night. I felt tired after a reasonably busy day, and went straight to sleep. Not long after, I was visiting my mum.

She spent her last years in a small flat in South London. When she became almost immobile with breathing problems, I would visit her there, go out and buy her shopping, then cook her some meals to leave in the fridge and freezer. Before leaving for home, I would always watch her eat a meal, to make sure in my mind that she was getting some decent food instead of existing on sweet biscuits and cake.

Her living room was small, but she had a folding table and two chairs under the window. That was for guests to sit at if they wanted to. She remained in her armchair, and ate her food from a lap tray. I was watching her eat, which was a slow process, as she had to rest between mouthfuls and catch her breath. She was talking to me about when I retired from work, and moved to Norfolk. That dates the conversation as sometime in 2011, as we had just bought this house that summer.

She was also talking about the pets she had lost, and lamenting the fact that she was now too ill to get another dog. She hoped that I would get a dog when I retired, and bring it to London to see her. I spoke again about the possibility of her moving in with us once we moved in 2012, but she was adamant that she wanted to stay in London.

It was completely real, and totally familiar to me, like watching a video of us recorded at the time.

But most dreams also have a surreal element, and the next thing I knew we were walking across a cemetery to find the grave of someone we knew who had been killed in the Falklands War. Except that she could not have physically managed that, and we didn’t know anyone who had been killed in that war.

Before we found the grave, I was woken up by a severe bout of cramp in my left leg. I had to get out of bed and stand on the leg to ease the pain, and I was surprised to find myself in the bedroom in Beetley, and no longer standing next to my mum.

Whatever part of my subconscious brain recreated that visit to my mum, I am glad it did.

51 thoughts on “Visiting My Mum

  1. Sometimes when you think you’ve awakened from a dream, you’re still dreaming. You’ve just dreamed that you’ve awakened. So when you got out of bed this morning and stood on one leg, did you happen to notice any pink flamingos standing around? If so, you were still dreaming.

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  2. Those dreams are very comforting. I almost never dream of my mother or my aunt that I was really close to. I used to dream of my first love which was an impossible situation as I very well knew. In my dreams we were together, nothing sexual, just together. It’s not something I can really explain except to say that I woke feeling happy. He’s not been in my dreams for a long time now, maybe it’s that “he” sees I am alright now, at peace with myself. Does that sound weird?

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    1. It doesn’t sound weird to me, though I personally think it is about you being more settled, and not him viewing you from a ‘higher plane’.
      Spending time with my mum in my dreams was rather comforting, until we diverted to the cemetery for that strange quest. I think it was just as well that I woke up at that point.
      Best wishes, Pete.


  3. All normal dreaming Pete – if anyone was to tell you the truth. Often you write things that we actually relate to. Here’s another. Google Earth is handy for looking up old places & jogging a memory for that night.

    Liked by 2 people

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