J=Jealousy.
There are times in my life when I have been jealous, I admit that.
After my first marriage broke down, I was jealous of the fact that my wife got to remain in the nice house in Wimbledon, that eventually netted her a small fortune when she sold it decades later.
I have sometimes been jealous about younger girlfriends. That was based on my own insecurities about age difference, and believing that they would be attracted to younger men if they went anywhere without me. I suppose that can be considered natural, but it affected at least two relationships, teaching me that jealousy can be destructive and pointless.
On the plus side, I have never been jealous about rich people, or possessions. If someone had a better car than me, or a lot more money, I often thought that they had much more to lose, and would ultimately be less happy than I was.
I was jealous of talent.
Unable to play an instrument, or publish a best-selling book, I felt jealousy when confronted with the likes of David Bowie, or Charles Dickens. What did they have, that I lacked? It took me a long time to discover that I lacked perseverance, determination, and not least talent in those fields.
Luckily, I was never once jealous of privilege, the scourge of British society. They could keep their stately homes, those aristocratic benefits, their private education, their silver spoons and inheritances. It never seemed to make them better people, and certainly did not make them nicer or happier people.
I grew older, and became less and less jealous in time.
Wives had to have their free time with friends, so why be jealous of that? If I trusted them, respected them, married them, then that should be enough to make me happy about what they did when I was not around.
Undeniably, everyone is jealous about something, at some time in their lives. If they deny that, I am sorry to say that they are lying.
But live long enough, and you will be content to discover that jealousy is simply wasted energy.
Then you can relax.
The sounds a little bit like a confession, Pete! 😉 But it’s also never to late learning an music instrument. Give it a try! Best wishes, Michael
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I think I missed my chance with music, Michael.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Reblogged this on NEW BLOG HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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We certainly become less jealous as we grow older – at least, I’m sure I have, not that I was a particularly jealous person anyway. It was more that I wanted to do things some other people had done, and so focussed on trying to achieve those things. Of course, I might occasionally mutter ‘lucky bastard’ under my breath…
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Yes, envy is also a form of jealousy, and a common human emotion, Mick.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I so agree, that all that tends to fade away as we get older
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It is such a relief not to feel that.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I don’t have a jealous bone in my body. Instead, the jealousy is lodged in my heart and soul.
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Nicely done, David. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I’m glad to hear your jealousies have waned with age Pete. I’ve been envious in my life of someones beauty, poise, talent, opportunity, etc. but not so much with my relationships. A few of my male companions displayed a great deal of jealousy and I agree it’s damaging and a waste of time. xxoo, C
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I regret the energy wasted on being jealous, but at least I managed to conquer it.
Best wishes, Pete. x
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Excellent point. Jealousy is wasted energy.
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It took me far too long to find that out, Peggy.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Well said, Pete. As we get older ‘the brain part catches up with the heart part’, and we have a far better perspective of our feelings. Frankly, I’m glad to be older!
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Nicely put, Jennie.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Thank you, Pete.
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Aging does temper jealousy…..I have always been a bit jealous of people with thick luscious hair….mine is fine and unmanageable….LOL chuq
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Mine has mostly gone now. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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The only jealously I have regarding the rich is their land and the privacy it gives.
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Most of them can’t aford to run it, and have to allow the ‘plebs’ in as paying customers to gawp at it. I would compulsory purchase their land, and build a council estate in their back gardens.
Cheers, Pete.
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Couldn’t agree more, Pete. As we get more life experience, we realize how little energy should be spent on being jealous.
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Thanks, Bruce. It takes a long time to work it out, but when you do, it’s a weight off your shoulders.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Jealousy is such a powerful yet destructive emotion…I think back on all of the stupid decisions I made in my life based on it…oh well, looking forward! Enjoying the alphabet series a lot Pete!
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Thanks, John. Looking back on 70 years, my one regret is the time I wasted.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Pete, I’m pretty sure every one of us does…if only we knew then what we know now! Oh well, a nice glass of red wine helps!
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By coincidence, I have an Australian Merlot on my desk! 🙂
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When my parents went to Asia, I went too but my brother remained in England in boarding school. We have been geographically separated ever since. When I was home from my boarding school which was in Vietnam, my mum told me one day not to do something, I’ve forgotten what and I responded “but Peter does.” Mum was cross and told me I was jealous. I don’t know why but I felt as if I had been stabbed in the chest and from that day I vowed that no-one would ever again have reason to call me jealous. I never have been and as you say it is a destructive emotion but sometimes you need to assert yourself. I never do, always assuming everyone else is more important. It’s funny how one small remark can change a life. If I could change things, would I. Probably not. The jealousy word always catches my attention though!
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I wasted a lot of time and energy on jealousy. I would like to have that back now, but it’s too late.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Congratulations for overcoming the instinct to be jealous. Warmest regards, Ed
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Thanks, Ed. It took a while, too long really.
Best wishes, Pete.
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It is one of the hard ones to recognize and then overcome. Warmest regards, Ed
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I admit, Pete, I am green with envy when I think about all the far away places you have visited.
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I was lucky, Don. No kids, two good incomes, and easier travel from Europe.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Jealousy is definitely wasted energy and I think we learn that as we get older but as children and teenagers…jealousy was rife someone else’s hair was always better…x
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Small jealousies assume a huge importance, I understand that.
Best wishes, Pete. x
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While jealousy is a natural emotion, you’re right that hanging onto it is wasted energy.
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Thanks, Liz. I wasted a lot of that.
Best wishes, Pete.
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You’re welcome, Pete.
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Pete, I don’t think I’ve ever been jealous or envious. But I’ve felt undervalued.
What irked me was personalities. I could crack a joke and no one would laugh. Then Fred would walk in, crack the same joke & have them ROFL.
I was told by a teacher that having a good sounding name got you into the team. I ask people on here, who would you have as goalkeeper – John Smith, Tom Harris or Pedro Savagol. I would say you will all say Pedro. He has got to be an international keeper but his surname sounds good to me.
My first name just never went with my surname. It was always remembered negatively. Many thought I Italian. This teacher said add an O after your name and you will get selected for those sports teams. My surname is a common English name & the name of the largest hotel chain in the world – But I’m always having to spell it & I can’t use it for Pizza orders.
Regarding another comment you made Pete. I always in my life felt as though I had to prove myself. That’s why I got into music. That’s why I wrote books. That’s why I became a JP. It puts me on an even keel now when people say “who are you?”.
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Thanks for adding your own thoughts and experiences, Gavin.
(You are the only ‘Gavin’ I ever met, so to me your first name was memorable.)
Best wishes, Pete.
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As a kid I was always jealous of the girl who sat in front of me in class. She had long straight yellow hair, which I wanted (I had the exact opposite).
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Small jealousies can feel just as important when we are young.
Best wishes, Pete.
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