Life With Mabel: Part Six

This is the sixth part of a fiction serial, in 771 words.

To say the wedding was not the best day of her life was an understatement. The vicar got her name wrong in the church, calling her Mary instead of Mabel. And he kept doing it, even when she corrected him. Norman had trouble getting the rings out of the top pocket of his suit, then dropped them. One rolled under the front pew and was eventually found after an embarrassed silence.

It was raining as they left so the confetti stuck to everything, and the photographer said he would take the photos in the Scout Hut instead. Reg was so nervous, she could feel his legs trembling in the back of Dennis’s car.

The reception just piled on the agony. Reg had no speech prepared, so just raised his beer and said, “A toast to my lovely bride”. Mabel’s dad rambled on with all the old stuff. “I’m not losing a daughter, but gaining a son”. “Mabel will be a good wife to Reg, just as she has been a good daughter to us”. He finally finished by lifting a glass and saying. “The happy couple”.

But neither of them looked very happy.

Once the food was served, the egg and cress sandwiches had been in the warm room for too long. The smell was like everyone in the room had farted, and it didn’t go away. The real wedding cake under the plaster fake tasted like suet pudding, as it had also got too hot in the stormy weather. It wasn’t until everyone had a few drinks inside them and the piano playing started that things livened up. Mabel was putting on false smiles for the photos, then Reg fumbled the cake cutting shot and knocked over the fake plaster one. It smashed into pieces on the wooden floor, and her dad groaned.

“There goes my cash deposit!”

In a very short time, Lizzie’s boyfriend had had far too much to drink, then spewed up all over her dress. She was so upset, she ran out of the hut crying, and didn’t come back.

When the dancing started, Reg was hopeless. He grabbed hold of Mabel while everyone was watching, then just walked around, making no attempt at dance steps. He stepped on her feet so many times, she was pleased when the song was over. After that, it seemed to stop being about their big day, and become a drinking contest. Even Edna Price was drinking so many Port and Lemons, Harry had to have a word with her when she fell over on the dance floor. Mabel’s mum was the only one who was sober, as she had been making tea in the little kitchen out the back, and that was all she had been drinking.

They had the hall until eleven, but it was traditional for the married couple to leave early. So by nine-thirty, people were suggesting they take their leave, and they spent thirty minutes saying goodbye to everyone, and thanking them for their presents that Mabel’s dad was in charge of taking home at some stage.

Mabel was so tired by then, she was pleased to get into the back of the Humber and take her new shoes off. Reg was as white as a sheet, and holding on to the key of their flat like it opened the case for the Crown Jewels.

As the car stopped in New Cross Road, Dennis winked at Reg. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do mate”. Reg slipped him a few quid and mumbled his thanks. As she got out of the car, she saw Dennis wink at her, and felt awkward. It was her wedding day, after all.

In the flat, it felt cold, but she wasn’t about to suggest lighting the fire. Mabel said to Reg, “Give me five minutes, then come into the bedroom”. Even with her new fake satin nightie, she felt cold. She was counting on Reg to warm her up. But he came in wearing some striped pyjamas, looking like a man about fifty. When he got into bed, he gave her a sloppy, beer-tasting kiss. After that, he lifted her nightdress and got between her legs.

She had expected it to hurt, her mum had told her it might hurt. But there was no pain, just a spongy feeling. Reg was moving on her like he was running a race. But if it was a race, it was only the hundred yards. Less than ten seconds later, he groaned, and turned over in bed.

“Night love”.

She lay awake for a good hour before giving in to sleep.

Was that it?

34 thoughts on “Life With Mabel: Part Six

    1. The fake cakes were completely acceptable at the time, Dorothy. This is from an online article.
      ‘During World War II, marriage rates soared by 20%. Rationing was so tight, wartime wedding cakes were sometimes made from cardboard and for display only.’
      Even by 1950 when Mabel got married, it was not unknown to hire a fake cake. πŸ™‚
      (In fact, it is becoming popular again, to cut the mounting costs of modern weddings.)
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. (1) The vicar spoke about how the three magpies found Joseph and Mabel in a manger in Bethlehem, New York.
    (2) No wonder Norman was not asked to audition for a role in The Lord of the Rings.
    (3) Eric White actually said, β€œMabel will be a good wife to Reg thanks to her enrollment in Dennis Elliot’s hands-on course for brides, Kama Sutra Redux.”
    (4) The piano player pinched his noise, and announced his first song, “Flatulence Foot Floogie (with a Floy Floy).”
    (5) Mabel complained, “I told you to watch Fred Astaire movies, not Fred Flintstone cartoons!”
    (6) Overheard:
    Edna: “My name is <burp! Etna Prize, and I'm gonna d-d-drink as much port as I waaaant."
    Reg: "Mum, you're going to spew red like a Sicilian volcano if you keep that up!"
    (7) Reg was as white as a sheet. He wondered what he would be doing later under the sheets with the former Miss White.
    (8) When the car stopped in New Cross Road, Dennis winked at Reg. β€œDon’t do anything I wouldn’t do, mate.” There's nothing that Dennis wouldn't do. He's the Kama Sutra Redux instructor, after all!
    (9) Q&A
    Mabel & Reginald: "Is that all there is to it?"
    Porky Pig: "Th-Th-The, Th-Th-The, Th-Th… That's all, folks!"

    Liked by 1 person

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