Distance

A dilemma for those with grown-up children. Stevie asks the question many of us think about.

As we get older a question that often surfaces is … ‘should we move closer to our children?‘ (this could be changed to brothers, sisters, nieces or nephews for those who are not parents). It’s a tricky one indeed, and I’ve seen evidence that it doesn’t always turn out the way that was originally planned.

Sam and I are still thinking about whether to retire to the Isle of Wight. Neither of us want to be a burden to our sons or daughters-in-law, who are all at work during the week. The move is rather tempting, especially as we’ve found that some couples who moved closer to their children and grandchildren have now regretted it. Okay, it’s nice to have back-up in case of emergencies, but then again there’s the guilt at calling a relative out in the middle of the night or possibly feeling the relative’s resentment…

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I read a post earlier today from my blogging friend in Australia, Lloyd Marken. He wrote about attending the wedding of a friend. Since those friends had grown up, got married, and moved around the vast country that is Australia, they don’t get to see that much of each other. But when he was invited to that old friend’s wedding, he did not hesitate to book a hotel, then drive almost 800 miles to Sydney.

https://backtothedrawingboardproductions.com/2021/04/13/covid-19-diary-the-book-of-love/

Real friends are like gold dust. Real friends endure, despite distances that might separate you. And they rarely judge you.

Compared to Australia, England is tiny. Yet moving just 140 miles from London means that I rarely see my oldest and best friends. Add to that the sad fact that a few of them have died, and you might be forgiven for thinking that my friends are now few and far between.

Yet nothing could be further from the truth.

Despite lack of physical contact since I moved to Beetley, made worse by travel restrictions during the pandemic lockdowns, my oldest friends are undoubtedly still my best friends, whether I am able to see them, or not.

There is nothing I would not do for those real friends. I would give them my last pound, lie in court for them, and give them my car if they needed to drive anywhere. I would let them stay in my house rent-free, send them food, in fact anything they ever needed or wanted.

The simple fact that I no longer live near any of them is meaningless. For that matter, I could be living in Australia, and never see them again.

But they would be my best friends, until my dying day.