Tired

Pete Van Winkle

~ beetleypete ~ 89 Comments

Apologies for the lack of a new serial episode. (Or anything else worth reading)
Despite managing a temporary fix on the keyboard, I have been afflicted with something similar to whatever ails my computer.

Lack of reliable function.
A tendency to stop on a whim.
The general wearing out of parts.

Just like my once-trusty PC, I am a Windows 7 man, in a world ruled by Windows 10. The tiredness and fatigue that started out as a lot of over-long sleeps has degenerated into a zombie-like state where I have no enthusiasm to do anything. Even the slightest regular task, like gving Ollie a nice long walk, now feels like walking on Mars in a spacesuit, and leaves me shattered. For the first time I can remember, I had to take to my bed at 3:30 this afternoon, drained by a 90-minute walk with my dog.

Were it not for my next-door neighbour deciding to cut her lawn with an exceptionally noisy motor-mower, I may well have been sleeping now. It is still daylight, and only 5:40 pm, yet all I can think of is getting dinner eaten soon, then going to bed as early as possible after that.

I am considering checking with Ancestry DNA, to see if I am related to Rip Van Winkle. If so, see you in twenty years.
(If you don’t know that story, here’s a link. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rip_Van_Winkle )

I will do my best to keep up with your posts and comments, but if you wonder where I am, it’s a safe bet that I will be in The Land of Nod.

Best wishes to you all.
Pete.

Thinking Aloud On a Sunday

~ beetleypete ~ 59 Comments

So Tired.

I had a good sleep last night, but woke up feeling overwhelmingly tired. I did do a fair bit of grass-cutting yesterday, and I am not as fit as I used to be. But this isn’t the usual aches and pains associated with moderate manual labour. This is bone tired. Reluctant to emerge from the bedroom.

I considered that it was mental tiredness. That led me to wonder if you can indeed be ‘mentally tired’. Does life sometimes just get too much to cope with? And does that mean that there is something wrong somewhere inside me? I shrugged that off, as the last thing I am is a hypochondriac.

But I cannot deny the reality of how I feel. The sluggishness, the apathy, the indecision.

I feel as if I could go back to bed and lie down again. I might not sleep, but the idea is there, undoubtedly. A Sunday awaits me, with all its possibilities. And yet I see none of them. Instead, I am just feeling tired.

Is this a product of getting older, I wonder? If so, I sincerely hope that it doesn’t become a regular feature of my life now.

On a day when so much could yet happen, and lots could still be done, my first thought is to escape back to bed, and avoid all of that.

Not a nice way to think, as I am sure you will agree.

Tired

~ beetleypete ~ 65 Comments

Do you ever feel really tired?
I don’t just mean ‘late night’ tired, or ‘been busy’ tired.
But really tired. Drained, and lacking any energy.

It is that inexplicable tired, the sort that kind of worries you.
No matter how much sleep you had the night before, it didn’t seem to be enough.
My phrase is, ‘bone tired’. When your very bones seem to yearn for rest.

There is no identifiable cause. No thinking, ‘It’s because I did this, or that’.
Or because you did a lot of housework, or gardening, or had a busy day out.
There’s no reason whatsoever, just the feeling of being overwhelmingly tired.

It doesn’t involve undue exercise, workouts, running, or a lot of walking.
You may not have done anything out of the ordinary.
But you feel really tired, and cannot shake that feeling.

As you might deduce, I am feeling a bit tired tonight.

An older man

~ beetleypete ~ 32 Comments

I am starting to feel my age. There is no point denying that obvious reduction in physical ability, together with my poor eyesight. I tried to assemble a small trike for my step-grandson today, and I was defeated by the tiny print on the instructions, even with my strongest glasses on.

I suppose that I could just give up, but I am reluctant to do that. I still managed almost three hours walking with Ollie today, despite the unseasonal heat, and a late night. It is all too easy to become frustrated with things like instruction leaflets, and attempting tasks when you are surprised to feel tired. Your instinct is to push on, to overcome the obstacles, but that is easier said than done.

It feels like my portrait in the attic (Dorian Grey) has been made flesh, and all my past sins and follies have caught up with me, at long last. Small jobs are ridiculously tiring. Patience is at a premium, and any effort seems like trying to plough through oil. When I was much younger, I had no idea that this would eventually happen. In that respect, this has all come as a surprise. And an unpleasant one at that.

Although my brain tells me otherwise, my body states firmly that I am an older man. I cannot do the things that I was used to doing with ease, and simple tasks appear to be insurmountable. If I believed that I was fit and capable, I was very wrong. In the middle ages, this would seem to be a great age. In modern times, it is almost disregarded, and I am considered to have a good twenty years ahead of me. My body and functions disagree though, and as a result, I feel my age intensely.

Perhaps my time has been and gone. My span exhausted, but nobody told the rest of me. Either way, there seems to be little else that I can contribute, nothing that I can see or do. My body is telling me that enough is enough. I am done.

I am officially an older man.

Blogging fatigue

~ beetleypete ~ 26 Comments

I am tired tonight. It is only 9.20pm, and I am already feeling like having a very early night. During the last week, I have travelled around a lot, and written a fair few posts on this blog. I have kept up with followers, and the blogs that I follow, and I have also worked on a long article for publication elsewhere. Many hours at the keyboard have taken their toll, and I am lacking the inspiration and energy to carry on for now.
Every word seems to take an age to type, and I have no fresh ideas in my head. I am temporarily blogged out, and despite having a few works in progress in my draft folder, I cannot muster the wherewithal to carry them through. I am happy enough, but I just cannot do it for a while. I need a long sleep, and an injection of vitality. See you in a couple of days. Take care, Pete.