Julie recently ordered some cheap waterproof (fake rattan in resin) garden/patio furniture. It came in one large box, and considering it was supposed to contain a 2-seat sofa with cushions, 2 small armchairs with cushions, and a glass-topped centre table, I was dubious that it had all arrived.

So on Sunday, given a bright and sunny afternoon, we decided to open the mysterious box and investigate.

With the packing skills of a magician, the company had indeed managed to cram all that into one box. It also contained dozens of screws/bolts and washers, an Allen key, and rubber rests for the sheet of glass. Yes, those dreaded words were used in the instruction leaflet.

“Easy self-assembly”

This was not a project for one person, as someone had to hold the pieces together while the other person contorted themselves around on the ground to attach the fixings. The leaflet showed what to do, but didn’t mention two people would be required. With Julie’s knee not fit enough for any kneeling or moving around on the ground, we had no alternative but to telephone our eternally helpful neighbour, and see if he was free to help.

He happily took over fixing duties while I stood and held the pieces together as he tightened the screws/bolts. Fortunately, each piece had a letter sticker, so it was ‘Part C to Part C1, and 1 x A at one end, 1 x B at the other, and so on. After 90 minutes of wrangling the numerous pieces in the hot sun, our neighbour departed after once again proving he is worth his weight in gold.

Julie and I sat on the new furniture on the lawn, and enjoyed a cold beer. Yesterday afternoon, the optional full cover for winter arrived, and we covered it even though it wasn’t raining.

Just because we could.