My dating profile photo.
OK, just because we can’t talk, does not mean that we cannot learn the basics of how to work a computer, and publish a blog post. After all, I have watched countless hours of Pete doing this, so it can’t be that hard. It is a bit tricky with paws, I will admit, but if you are careful with your nails, it is not impossible. The mouse is a lot easier, as my right paw covers that completely.
You will know a bit about me, if you read this blog. I am Pete and Julie’s dog, Ollie the Shar-Pei. The truth is, I am a bit lonely, and would like to have some female company. I thought that I would use this blog as a platform to advertise myself. If you are regular readers, you already know a lot about my life. It is a comforting routine, and Pete and Julie are pretty good owners, I can tell you. I am not expected to do a lot, and I get well-fed, and decent treatment at all times.
Every day I get a nice long walk, with the chance to catch up with my gang of friends. Sometimes, I get to go out in my car, though I don’t like it if we end up at the Vet Man’s house, as he pokes and prods, and sometimes, I have to sleep there. I have a good dinner every day, lots of treats, and plenty of sleep. I have two beds in the house, one in the living room, and my main bed in the kitchen. I prefer the kitchen bed, where I sleep when it is dark. I like to have a regular dip in the river, but I am less happy about going to the Grooming Lady, as she makes me smell funny.
Anyway, I digress. I have been on doggydating.co.uk and so far, I have had no luck. There are not many Shar-Pei dogs around it seems, so I am a little concerned about finding a girlfriend. I want everyone here to pass my profile to all their friends, so that I can find someone to have little Ollies with. Here is my up-to-date profile. Please do your best to let everyone know that I am lonely, and need a mate.
Breed: Chinese Shar-Pei. (There is a bit of Chocolate Labrador in there somewhere, but that just gives me a nice coat)
Colour: A fetching brown.
Age: 33 Months. (Mature)
Distinguishing Features: Wrinkled brow, droopy jowls, muscular build, curly tail.
Tongue: Partly Black. (it’s a breed thing)
Likes: Sleeping. (Currently managing about 17 hours a day) Sniffing and peeing. (There are few areas of Beetley where my scent is unknown.) Hanging out with my mates. (There are at least eight other dogs in my gang, and I am the ‘big boss’.) Going out in my car. (Unless it is to the Vet Man- see above.) Chasing rabbits and squirrels. (Admittedly without much luck so far.) Having a dip in the river. (Not swimming though, that’s not cool. ) Eating dinner and treats. (My time is around 6 pm, if you would like to join me.) Chewing soft toys. ( I have at least fifty, and I don’t destroy them.) Guests. (Nothing nicer than an unexpected arrival to make a fuss of you.)
Dislikes: Catching a ball. (I just can’t catch. It’s a jowl thing…) Traffic. (It’s the noise -terrifying…) Missing out on treats. (Who wants to miss out?) Being left alone. (I’m just not used to it, but I do behave.) Resting. (Pete says he is ‘resting’ when I want to play. I don’t like ‘resting’.)
So, there you have it. If you know a suitable Shar-Pei bitch who needs a beau, please forward my details. I can be reached at my own website; OliverCromwellJohnson @ dogblog.co.uk or via a sneaky message on this blog. Thanks in anticipation. Ollie.