More Stuff About Getting Older

~ beetleypete

When I celebrated my 70th birthday last year, I felt pretty good. One year and five months later, I feel a lot older than 71. That change happened fast, and was unexpected.

Here are some things I have noticed.

Living in a house with no stairs for 11 years, I have strangely become ‘unfamiliar’ with stairs. Now when I encounter them, whether in someone else’s house, or in a public place, I realised that I am holding the handrail. I never did that before, and now I do it both ways, ascending or descending. I have lost my confidence on stairs.

In my mind, my idea of ‘self’ is still that I look around 50 years old, and have aged well. The perception of others is that I am an old man, with not much hair, and baggy eyes. They move out of the way for me on pathways, and refer to me as a ‘Gentleman’ not a man. As in, “Let the gentleman pass”. Children I don’t know regard me as being much older than I am, saying things like “That very old man has a nice dog”.

My depth perception is also flawed now. I walk toward what seems like a tiny depression in the ground, only to find it is a substantial hole that almost sprains my ankle.

For years now, I have carried a stick when out walking with Ollie. It used to have three main purposes.
1) Fending off aggressive dogs that might hurt Ollie.
2) Bashing down nettles and brambles that blocked my path.
3) Testing the depth of the local river before I attempted to walk through it to cross to Hoe Rough.

Now it has just one main purpose. Supporting me as I walk along. And it was only today that I realised that.

Wearing ‘real’ shoes makes my feet ache. Too many years in Wellington Boots, Skechers, slippers, and loafers has affected my feet. So when I wear formal shoes with smarter clothes for an occasion, they make my feet ache within an hour, even sitting down.

Ties feel too tight around my neck. Even though my shirt size remains unchanged from years before retirement, I have very few occasions where I need to wear a tie. When I do, usually at a funeral or a wedding these days, they feel too tight.

Getting out of the bath (we have a power shower, but I prefer baths) has to be thought about carefully. Only a year ago, I could almost leap out of a bath without thinking about what that involved. Now I have to psych myself up for the moment when I exit the water, usually holding on to the nearby sink to give me some confidence that all will go well.

If you are a long way off of my age, be prepared for things to change one day.

112 thoughts on “More Stuff About Getting Older”

  1. Hi Pete, I wonder if your having had covid has contributed towards the way you feel. My father has never recovered from the pulmonary embolism he had in June 2021. He didn’t get timeous or the best treatment due to covid. Even my husband, who the doctors say has made a complete recovery from his Venal sinus thrombosis in early January has aged as a consequence. I can see the differences with him.

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  2. Yes, things do change. I was told by my physio to always live in a house with stairs for as long as possible. I also notice the difference when I walk about on the IOW hills compared to Suffolk, which is flat (calf muscles ache after a few days until they become acclimatised). My lower back aches most of the time now. I guess it’s all part of ageing. Whatever… it sucks, doesn’t it?

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      1. When I had knee problems, the physio told me to walk downstairs very slowly. This action builds up the quad muscles which support the knees. She was right. I don’t have knee problems now, but I do have lower back problems instead. Sort one thing out, and something else takes its place!

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  3. Sad but true, Pete and it happens to us all…The last couple of times I have ventured into the shopping centre I have been asked “botox” madam…so I’m guessing they think I should partake but I won’t as for stairs I am more cautious and we do have them in our house so I am pleased as if you stop doing something you lose it and it seems to be true as we age x

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  7. I notice my balance is not very good, I hold on to rails going up or down stairs, and my muscles are softening. It interesting that you feel as if you are 50, I feel much the same and I’m shocked by all the wrinkles and wear! But we’re still here! Hugs, C

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  11. It started with me at 75. People began to help me on and off buses and offer me chairs in shops so that I could sit down. Now I am past eighty it doesn’t feel so strange as I am breathless, my back does ache and I get nervous in situations that I would have breezed through before. I never imagined old age to be so darned difficult. Do what you can while you can as the worse thing about my life now is that I can’t see myself taking a holiday ever again.

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  18. I wouldn’t look at grabbing the handrail going up and down steps as a sign of aging; it’s being smart and realizing that many accidents occur on stairs. Why take that risk when the last thing we want at our age is a broken hip? Ties always feel uncomfortable to me, too—another reason I seldom wear them.

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  21. Let’s try this again…

    Let’s move a bit further down the Boomer aging path (after all, it’s not only about mobility cautions and medical maladies).
    You hinted at the condition as to how the casual public sees us. About once a month I might solicit a “Be careful there, old man.” from some concerned stranger. At my security guard job I’ve noticed a tendency where female office staff won’t ask me to lift the occasional copy paper a box, change a water bottle, grab something off a top shelf… deferring to ask a passing younger guard. (I mean, I can’t jump a building in a single bound like I used to, but I am far from being incapacitated)
    Then there’s the society stuff. The reason I am a working in a completely mindless occupation that’s viewed by the public as a laughable punchline at best, often a no-respect threat to no one, and since I wear a uniform I am the first target for a mass shooter, all for minimum wage…. is because I can’t live on Social Security alone…. after a career of professional management in various venues and having walked the halls of corporate and entrepreneurial power.
    Then there’s having to determine when it’s appropriate to pass on sage wisdom from decades of experience and “having been there myself” to those younger. My kids having stopped listening to me back when they were teenagers (at their ages I had life all figured out as well… my parents knew nothing) is one thing. But my role as the fifth wheel in social settings seems to be growing.
    My significant other keeps reminding me to ask for the senior discounts when I pay for good and services. She simply laughs at me when I tell her those discounts are for old people. From my vantage point people in their 80’s are OLD.
    I suppose it all adds up to a loss of a measure of social respect in being a contributor to society being substituted for an increased respect because I am looking more old with each passing day and I should just get out of the way.

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    1. I found this in the Trash folder, probably because it posted 4 times simultaneously.
      I am lucky not to have to suffer the work environment since I turned 60, because I had two decent employment pensions that paid out at that age.
      Most people in the countryside (where I live) are kind and respectful to old people. When I get a bus, people will stand and offer me their seat. I am capable of standing, but it seems rude not to accept.
      That also adds to the feel of ‘being old’ though.
      As for being 80, that is only 9 years away. I can see it in my rear-view mirror.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  23. From pictures I have seen of you I would say you look younger than your age. Kids think everyone who is older than their parents is ancient. Having no stairs in the house, you don’t exercise those muscles regularly anymore, so I don’t think it is significant if you feel different and hence hold the rail. Nothing wrong with doing that. I know you will have had to help many old people who fell from lack of precaution. Feet…I think our feet get larger and if you don’t wear “proper” shoes regularly, they are going to be uncomfortable. My feet are dreadful. Same with the tie. Our bodies change a lot I’ve discovered. Part of the reason my eyesight is messed up is because my facial muscles have sagged. I figure and couple of stitches in the right place would rectify my double vision but I doubt I’ll find someone to do it. It is very annoying when people start treating you like “one of the old dears”! But we don’t have to accept the classification.

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  25. Pete, to many of you, I’m a spring chicken (I’ll be 53 Saturday). BUT for some reason, God wanted me to experience similar things at an early age. Most of my friends are older; many of my closest friends in their late 60’s and 70’s. They say that I make them feel better, ha! It seems you are handling the challenges straight on—doing things that assist and being wise! I hope to be doing those same things in my future!

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    2. Yes, chronic illness will bring on all of these experiences prematurely. I’ve been kind of comforted by the fact that I’ve had a pretty accurate bead on the challenges of old age since my early twenties! 🙄

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      1. Hello, Ana! Thank you for this message. I’m sorry you had such an early jump on it. But I do understand! My Dad, 82, and I often talk about how a life with no risk might have kept me injury free (no mountain climbing, hopping on motorcycles, and every other “risky” fun!)…and then,suddenly, all of that which was “chronic” and masked by so many accidents hid its dark secret of a rare cancer. Like you, I guess I was “ready” for this stage! I’ll always be young at heart and ironically, many of my closest friends are much older than me; and have been most of my life! Please take care, Ana.

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    3. I know ~ and, to keep my spine functionally straight I have to sit in a lotus posture ~ so the floor is where I’m always getting up from! At least I no like anger attempt many public functions… 😆

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  32. Know what you mean. Hubster and I were saying this recently and have come to one conclusion to do with a certain mass medication. Friends say the same. Sudden onset of old age when months before there wasn’t any sign…ergo…!! Fight it on all fronts we say. Try not to give in to it. We are not going to be old. Even if everything conspires to cause it. Hoping you get your old self back soon. fight the good fight. We are the Boomers and we ain’t bloomin’ giving in.

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  34. Stairs are a bitch to navigate for me as well….I wear a lot of shorts because of our climate so ‘big boy’ pants feel strange on my legs….just a few of my weirdness as I grow older. chuq

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  36. I was doing OK till that Arthur Itis guy moved in (Well, he was probably around for a while before he became insistent that I notice him. One hip started griping a couple of years ago and he’s since trying to get the knee involved.)
    Targetted exercise, supplements, snake oil and sleeves (compression) at night are keeping him at bay. something seems to be helping: I recall, before lockdown, almost hopping down the stairs from the ‘Ladies’at my son’s pub to avoid knee pain. (Bannisters required for that technique). But I don’t know if the supplements, sleeves or snake oil are making the difference, so I daren’t stop any of them.
    The stairs are still my marker for how far Evil Arthur’s progressing.
    Don’t overdo the exercise though – just enough to stop things seizing up. When we stay at a ground-floor maisonnette near London once a month I find the week without stairs has reduced any knee-pain when we return to our stairs in the Fens.

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    1. I do take some supplements, but nothing seems to help the arthritis in my hands in damp weather except for a cannabis-oil cream that gives short-term relief.
      Thanks for adding your own experience, Cathy.
      Best wishes, Pete.

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  38. Pete, ditto ditto ditto.
    Stairs = I don’t know about you Pete, but I saw some terrible injuries & death in stair falls. I attended a seminar on that, and despite that, had 2 nasty falls myself – on my stairs.
    As you age, your mind & feet don’t work so well separately. I now notice if I climb stairs and have my mind elsewhere, I slip.
    As well as handrails, I count the number of steps.
    Footwear = I wore jandals in summer, woolly boots in winter. My Dr recently put me on to a shoe speciality shop & expensive waling shoes later – I’ve got a spring in my step, not shuffling lie an old man!

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    1. I saw some nasty stair/escalator falls on underground stations, also on escalators in shops. I do have some expensive hiking boots, but they tend to make my feet hot.
      Cheers, Pete.

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  40. I purposely use stairs as we don’t have any in our house either. To keep up the practice. However, I hold onto the rails coming down as I broke my ankle ten years ago going down a set of stairs (missed the bottom stair) Now I am leary of going down the stairs.

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  41. I empathise with you Pete; I’m a couple of years behind you, but sometimes these changes do creep up on us almost without our noticing. I like to believe that if you can remain positive in your outlook, these changes won’t be as bad as we might fear. Cheers, Jon.

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