Acacia Close: Part Nine

~ beetleypete

This is the ninth part of a fiction serial, in 800 words.

The first neighbourly social occasion for Alan and Jenny was unplanned. A knock on the door late on Saturday afternoon revealed two smiling people standing there, looking like thay had both just stepped out of a spray tan booth after having their teeth whitened. The man lifted his arms to display a bottle of white wine in one, and a red bordeaux in the other. The woman was carrying a large bunch of flowers.

Good flowers, not the sort you get for a fiver in the supermarket. As Jenny joined him at the door, the man spoke in a voice that was at least five times too loud for conversation.

“Welcome, new neighbours. I’m Lee Williams, and this is my wife Kerry. You helped out our son Dean while we were away, so we wanted to thank you, and bring you a welcome drink”.

Alan was staring at them as if they were stage performers, so Jenny had to step in. “Thank you, please come in. I’m Jenny and he’s Alan. You’ll have to excuse the state of the place, we haven’t even started to redecorate yet”.

Lee was the kind of man who liked to talk.

“You are gonna love it here. Strange bunch in the close, but that makes life interesting. I see you’re an electrician, might be able to help you out there. I run my own company installing hot tubs and swimming pools. We work all over the region, and often get asked if we can recommend some good tradesmen. My boy Dean works for me too. I don’t do so much nowadays, more of a figurehead, if you get my drift. Give me some of your cards, and I’ll get my lads to recommend you”.

He was interrupted by his wife.

“We have a top of the range hot tub in our back garden, a six-person executive model with coloured lights and everything. You two should join us for a dip in it one night, nothing like a nice hot tub and a glass or two of champagne”. Alan gave Jenny a look, and Kerry noticed it.

“Oh, nothing weird, I didn’t mean that. Just a hot tub night, we will all be wearing swim stuff!” Lee chuckled. “Don’t scare them off, Kes, they just met us”.

By the time the wine was almost finished, Alan was getting hungry, but didn’t like to ask when they were leaving. Lee had got into his stride, talking about the neighbours.

“The old lady who lives on her own likes to play up a bit. Says she’s deaf, but I reckon she can hear better than any dog. She don’t say much about her life either, even when she chats to Kerry. Be careful of doing her any favours. Kerry got her some shopping once and she started posting grocery lists through our door when she knew we were going to the supermarket. The Bangladeshis are decent poeple, and their restaurant is good. We should all go there for a curry one night, you won’t be disappointed. They don’t socialise though, those people stick with their own, don’t they?”

He stopped talking long enough to swallow the last drop of his wine, and Alan realised that him and Jenny hadn’t actually said anything since they had sat down.

“Dennis across the road, he’s a bit of an old perv, but harmless enough. Kerry has seen him at the window with binoculars a few times. I didn’t bother to front him about it, he would probably say he was birdwatching or something. Veronica, well she’s on the game, obvious. But there’s never any trouble at her place, so she’s okay with me. I just wish she would stop that bloody stupid little dog yapping all the time. The one you’ve gotta watch out for is Colin. He’s a plain nasty bastard”.

Before Lee could continue to list every resident, Alan mentioned the damage to his car, and how rude Colin had been. Kerry said her piece.

“Well I can’t stand him. He thinks he’s better than everyone else and he is only a team leader in a distribution warehouse after all. I haven’t seen his wife Emily since their daughter left school, I reckon she must be mentally ill, you know, scared of going outside. What’s it called…?”

Jenny told her. “Agoraphobia”. Kerry smiled. “That’s it, I can never say it properly anyway”.

When Lee stood up to leave, Alan was relieved. Dinner was going to be late, but better late than never. They said their goodbyes, cheeks were kissed, and weak promises of hot tub nights and curry at the restaurant were made. As they were walking out the door, Lee turned back.

“You watch out for that Colin. I reckon it was him attacked your cars. He hates neighbours, he does”.

34 thoughts on “Acacia Close: Part Nine”

  1. Great chapter, I could envision Lee and Kerry perfectly but they are exhausting to host. And I would not be joining those two in the hot tub! They gave some great insights into the neighbors which might be helpful to Alan and Jenny. Hugs, C

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  2. A bit to over the top friendly I don’t think I would go any hot tub parties..but at least Lee has filled any gaps and nobody yet has realised wifey is missing aka dead and buried although if other females turn up maybe they will …Tweeted for you, Pete xx

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  7. (1) Does Lee Williams also install hot tub time machines?
    (2) Lee: “I install swimming pools so large that you can float aimlessly in them for days on end, if you get my drift.”
    (3) I have a top of the range hot tub in the kitchen. Now that the range has heated the water sufficiently, I plan to take off the tub, add some Epsom salts, and soak my aching feet in it.
    (4) Lee: “The old lady who lives on her own likes to play up a bit. Says she’s deaf, but I reckon she can hear better than any armadillo.”
    (5) Austin Powers says the Italian bird is rancid. Dennis is a birdwatcher who doesn’t discriminate.
    (6) Emily suffers from a garden variety of agoraphobia.
    (7) Alan was getting hungry, but he wasn’t in a hurry to eat Bangladeshi curry.
    (8) Don Quixote believes windmills are giants, and so he attacks them. Colin Richardson believes Alan’s van is a giant, and so he attacked its windscreen…

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