Acacia Close: Part Twelve

~ beetleypete

This is the twelfth part of a fiction serial, in 776 words.

Colin was having a re-think about the dating website. The divorcees and widows he had matched with were all good as far as profiles and photos were concerned, but the reality of meeting them was something different altogether.

Having lined up three dates in the same week, he had gone so far as to buy a smart new suit and some new shirts too. The fact that he had looked much younger than any of them was also a bonus, as they were flattered to be seen out with someone young and reasonably fit.

Barbara had been the first, arranging to meet him in one of the better restaurants in town. He had got there early, then sat watching the door until she appeared. Her profile had said ‘Fifty-something’, but he reckoned she was well over sixty any day of the week. She spent a lot of time talking about how she had been disappointed with her dates so far, then ordered the most expensive item on the menu, and the second most expensive bottle of white wine.

At one point in the evening, she even had the gall to ask him about his prospects, like someone in a Victorian novel vetting a prospective groom for her daughter.

When the bill arrived, she excused herself to the ladies’ room, with no mention of contributing. Then she announced her taxi was waiting outside and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you for a very pleasant evening. I might be in touch with you again, who knows?” The brass neck of the old cow, pretending she was the one making the running.

Next came Samantha, who liked to be called Sammi. She said she was ‘Fifty-five and full of life’. To give her credit, she looked a lot younger. And she completely ignored the rules of safety online by giving him her phone number then inviting him to her flat when he phoned her.

“No food though, just some wine and nibbles”. When he got there, she sat him on the sofa and presented him with a glass of red wine. Then with a big wink and dirty chuckle she said, “Here’s the wine, and I’m the nibbles”.

Sammi certainly lived up to her claims. They hadn’t finished the wine before she had taken him through to the bedroom, and ninety minutes later, he was completely exhausted. It was too soon to suggest the kind of sexual practices that excited him, but he had a sneaky suspicion she might well be up for those in time. So at the right moment, he asked if he could see her again, showering her with compliments on her looks and vitality.

She shook her head and pulled a face. “No, dear, maybe not. To be honest, I have had a better time with men much older than you”.

If it hadn’t been for the fact that his wife was buried in the greenhouse, he would have liked to have strangled the bitch then and there with her own stockings. Instead, he had to keep his temper and take his leave with his proverbial tail between his legs. In his car, he smashed his hands against the steering wheel with such force, he almost broke two fingers.

Sara with no H was the third one. Shy and inexperienced at fifty-three, she was the only one he had matched with who had never married. A quiet schoolteacher who was unaware of the allure of her curvy body, and the potential to look really hot with a better hairdo and make-up. During the meal they were sharing, she let Colin make the running and do most of the talking.

He became convinced that she might be the one. Someone who he could mould into the type of woman he could control, and use as he wished. She seemed quite keen when he talked about future dates, and didn’t flinch when he suggested he might cook for her at his house one evening. Though that would only be something heated up in the oven, she wouldn’t know the difference.

It was all going really well. He ordered some coffee, and reached across the table to take her hand.

Then her phone rang in her handbag, and she answered it.

“I’m not sure mum, we are just waiting for coffees, then I will ask them to phone me a taxi. About an hour, no longer”. Hanging up, she apologised. “Sorry about that, Colin. Mum gets worried if I am out too late. Then again, she is nearly eighty, and relies on me a lot”.

Waving her off in the taxi, Colin mentally removed her from his list.

30 thoughts on “Acacia Close: Part Twelve”

  8. Barbara was clearly just looking for a meal ticket. Good thing she left promptly, before Colin’s annoyance got the better of him. The Sammi episode made me smile. NIce to see Colin taken down a peg. I’m glad he didn’t give in to his murderous impulse! And what a relief that Sara has an inconvenient mother. She doesn’t realize how lucky she is to be crossed off the list!

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  12. (1) Barbara is ā€˜Fifty-somethingā€™ on the eighth day of the week.
    (2) I’ve never seen a cow with a brass neck. But I’ve noticed some very small hard yellow flakes in my burgers of late…
    (3) Colin enjoyed his hammi sammi, but felt it was incomplete without virginia mayo.
    (4) I happen to know a proverbial doctor who could surgically remove Colin’s proverbial tail. He’s already removed a Bronx tail, a Christmas tail, a Canterbury tail, a knight’s tail, a snoodle’s tail, a fairy tail, and a winter’s tail.
    (5) As for Sara with no H, wasn’t there already a story that featured Sarah with an H? If so, did the latter Sarah steal the former Sara’s H?
    (6) Sarah was a quiet schoolteacher who was unaware of the allure of her curvy body. Her male students (the straight ones) were well aware of her curves, but never uttered a word to her about them. They just quietly fantasized about them.
    (7) Hanging up, Sarah apologized. ā€œSorry about that, Colin. Mum gets worried if I am out too late. I hope you don’t have any hangups about women who tend to their mum, are in constant communication with their mum, don’t do anything in the bedroom without first consulting their mum, and won’t move in with anybody without bringing along their mum.” (At this point, Colin felt that Sarah was fit to be hanged.)

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