This is a work of fiction, a short story of 800 words.
Quentin opened the box excitedly. Dan had explained how to do it all, so very soon, it was up and running. Everyone had a Miranda these days, or something like it, and Quentin had started to feel embarrassed about leaving it so long before catching the trend. It took some fiddling around to get it just right though. Dan had made it sound a lot easier than it was, that’s for sure. Once his appointments and favourite music were stored, he added the controls for the TV, and light switches. He would soon be a part of the digital world, just like all the others.
“Miranda, what’s the weather forecast?” He tried it out with something easy.
“Today’s weather is dry and cloudy, with a maximum of 18 degrees”.
Quentin smiled. He liked Miranda’s voice. Some of the others he had heard sounded like the voices that announced train departures, or the floors in a lift, but Miranda sounded all-too real, and had a smooth, sultry tone.
“Miranda, play the Red Hot Chili Peppers selection”.
“Playing Red Hot Chili Peppers Selection”.
As the music came through the speakers, he grinned again. So much easier than having to find a CD, put it in the tray, then use the remote.
“Miranda, add white wine and sparkling water to my shopping list”.
“White wine and sparkling water added to your shopping list” came the reply.
He rang Dan’s mobile, excited to hear his boyfriend’s voice. “It arrived this morning, and I have already got it going. I added things to the shopping list, and played some music, and asked about the weather too. The voice is so much better than your one, I tell you. it sounds just like a real person.”
It sounded like Dan was grinning as he replied.” OK, glad you are happy with it. I had better go now, bit busy here. See you tomorrow. Love you”. He hung up before Quentin had time to reply.
“Miranda turn on the bedroom light”
“Turning on the bedroom light”.
He smiled as he saw the light come on. Even though it was still daytime, it was good to know it worked.
“Miranda, turn off the bedroom light”.
“Turning off the bedroom light”.
Off it went.
“Miranda, set the oven to 200 degrees and turn it on”.
“Oven set to 200 degrees, and turned on”.
Quentin enjoyed a light lunch, then got ready to go into the studio. He would work for a few hours that afternoon, then perhaps join Carol and the others for a drink later.
Sitting in the bar laughing and joking, Quentin regaled them with the excellence of his new device. “I have it connected to everything. Oven, microwave, music, lights, even the fridge-freezer, I tell you, it’s just fab.” His colleagues grinned, wondering why he kept going on about something they had all owned for a long time now. But he was a popular guy, so nobody liked to burst his bubble.
It was dark by the time he got home, and as he entered the minimalist, trendy apartment, Quentin raised his voice.
“Miranda, turn on the living-room lights”.
“Turning on living-room lights”.
This was the life. Didn’t even have to throw a switch. Quentin checked his messages and emails, before deciding to turn in early. He was looking forward to spending the night with Dan tomorrow. He would show him just how good his Miranda was.
The music made him jump out of his skin. He recognised the song immediately, it was ‘Under The Bridge’.
Leaping out of bed, Quentin realised that the bedroom light was on. Rushing into the living room, he yelled above the deafening music.
“Miranda, turn off the music” Nothing.
Every light in the room was on, and he could hear the oven fan whirring. Walking across to the open plan kitchen, he slipped in a pool of water, which made him sit with a thump on the floor. The oven dial showed 500 degrees, and he could feel the heat from the glass door. A sudden ping made him jump, and the microwave started a second cycle, set to the maximum 30 minutes. The water was all over, coming from the electronically-dispensed tap on the door of the fridge-freezer. He got onto all fours, calling out again.
“Miranda, turn off the oven. Stop the music, and turn off the microwave and water dispenser too”.
Nothing. Maybe it was too much at one time. He moderated his tone.
“Miranda, turn off the music”.
“Miranda, turn off the oven”.
“Miranda, turn off the microwave”.
“Miranda, turn off the water dispenser”.
Could it handle four individual instructions, Quentin was wondering. And then the music stopped.
At last. Now for the rest.
“Miranda, turn off the oven”.
It took a long time to reply, as if thinking about it.
“Say please”.
Ooooh, that’s a rather creepy story… I would never ever buy such a Miranda. I don’t even have a Smartphone!
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Good plan, Kerin. Stick with a shopping list! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I love this, with the perfect last line.
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Thanks very much, Jennie. So glad you loved it! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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A pleasure to read, Pete. Best to you.
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This made me laugh Pete! And no, I wouldn’t have one either. It’s bad enough that I talk to the Satnav.
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Satnav? What’s a Satnav? 🙂 🙂 x
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😉
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I love your fiction your prose you have a knack….chuq
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Thanks, chuq, that’s very kind.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Great to start the day with a laugh 🙂
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Just to show I can sometimes do ‘funny’, Eduardo. 🙂
Cheers mate, Pete.
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This made me laugh though for the life of me, like Quentin, I don’t know what Miranda is.
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They are called digital assistants, Arlene. The most popular one here is the Amazon Echo, and its voice is named Alexa.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I heard of Alexa but was not curious about it .
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Loved this, Pete. It always annoys me in the adverts that no one ever says please. Did you read about the ad when the man demands she buys cat food – and half the ‘Mirandas’ in the country ordered cat food? 🙂
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I haven’t heard that one, Mary. I am just driven crazy by the Amazon Alexa ads. It’s like they think a real person is actually in that tiny tube! Perhaps they deserve ‘Miranda’? 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I know, but even knowing it’s not a real person, I would like them to say please. What are kids goign to leanr about manners if the parents just order the machines around without a please or a thank you?
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Reminds me of the other month Pete, I was casually passing my HomePod and remarked “Hey Siri, it’s my Birthday today!! To which ‘she’ replied Happy Birthday……..Sorry I didn’t get you anything!
It was okay though, we had only met the week before. I mean how could she have possibly known 🙂
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Good one, Gordon. One voice I will never hear.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I had to smile when my 30 something son called round and asked Siri what she was wearing??
Reply…….. Same as yesterday 🙂
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You’re on a roll with these mate. 🙂
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My granddaughter has one and is endlessly entertained asking her questions like “Why aren’t you married?” I think it is more a gimmick than a necessity.
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A gimmick indeed, Elizabeth. But also a worrying dependency.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Could be true, but my granddaughter is too busy with humans to depend on it.
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Pleased to hear that, Elizabeth. 🙂
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Love this Pete! Bravo Miranda!😁 BTW, I only have Siri on my iPad and I always say thank you to her!🤣
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Thanks, Kim. Just as well you say that to Siri. Or she might just decide to not give you the right answers! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Or worse!😱
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I have wondered when no one ever says please or thank you.
Warmest regards, Theo
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I trust you always say please to yours, Theo? 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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I don’t use it. I don’t believe Nancy says the magic words though. I’ll have a talk with her about that.
Warmest regards, Theo
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Hahaha love it. No I don’t have one, probably never will in spite of being a tech addict.
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As long as I can turn on my own lights, and use a paper shopping list, you will never find me resorting to one of those things, FR. 🙂
Glad you liked it.
Best wishes, Pete.
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I’ve never even owned a garage door opener. I have a hand attached to an arm.
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What’s a garage door opener? 🙂 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Pete, this is terrific. I’m sure you saw the story about the couple who say their Alexa recorded them and sent it to a friend as a phone message…oops!
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I have never heard that story, John. But the Amazon Alexa ads on TV here drive me crazy! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Just happened last week, Pete – it’s freaking people out – your story is very timely!
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Precisely why I don’t buy a Miranda or an Alexa or whatever sexy name you want. I won’t be fooled by those who are addicted to A.I.
Unfortunately, I predict, like all other technologies we’ve been forced to adopt, there won’t be a home or office or building that won’t have it and we HAVE to have a computer generated home. It’s enough to make me live in a cave. And I would if that were my two choices…
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Room for one more in that cave, Cindy? 🙂
Best wishes, Pete. x
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Can the cave be on an island on the Aegean Sea?
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Anywhere it doesn’t rain too often. 🙂 x
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Let’s do it! A bottle of Domestica, some Ouzo, and fresh calamari….
x
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In our next life, it’s a date. 🙂
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As long as we can change its settings, it should be given a butler sounding name. I’d go for Judson – it sounds vaguely butlerish and is the name of someone I used to work for.
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Reminds me of Hudson, in ‘Upstairs Downstairs’. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Yes, that’s the vaguely butlerish bit. 🙂
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Thats it, Pete! Lol I am fanatic with new media, computers, electronics at all, but such a device i will never install where i want to life (in freedom). 😉
A really wonderful story. Thank you very much. Michael
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Thanks, Michael. I am very pleased to hear that you are not planning to buy a ‘digital assistant’!
Best wishes, Pete.
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😉 Thank you for the great story! No, i really do not plan to buy such a “special observation module”. Lol
I myself dont have WLAN/ WIFI. Only cable connections. Best wishes to you too. Michael
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My nightmare…computers everywhere, and becoming sentient……Not in my time, please
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Those Amazon Alexa ads drive me crazy, Sue. Hence this story, and me sticking to paper lists, as well as turning on my own lights! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Well, that’s two of us!
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Miranda, the computer generated genie, is taking on human qualities just as the latest creation by Google and wants to be treated with respect. Great story, Pete!
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Thanks, Peter. I don’t have one of those things, as you might suspect.
😉
Best wishes, Pete.
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