A little bit crazy

~ beetleypete

I’m not talking hospitals and sedation here, I should state from the outset.

But 2019 has undoubtedly driven me more than a little bit crazy. I have to face that fact. Sixty years ago, what is going on in my mind might well have got me committed to an institution, I have no doubt. Perhaps fortunately for me, such homes and asylums are now long gone, mostly closed to save money.

It is easy to speculate it might be my age. Perhaps I am going senile? But I don’t think so. (They never do, of course) Being able to write about it tends to suggest that my faculties are mostly intact, and I will get it down on my blog, just in case I am wrong about that.

My brain is completely overwhelmed with predominantly irrelevant ‘stuff’. This affects my ability to sleep properly, so makes me listless during daylight hours, with a tendency to fall back into yet more strange imaginings, and dwelling far too much on my past. Let me know if you have noticed that. 🙂

If I was a renaissance poet, such things might well be considered to be advantageous, even a confirmation of my talents. But I am not, so that doesn’t work. If I was one of the Bloomsbury Set, no doubt my confused musings would be regarded as fascinating, perceptive, and ahead of their time. But I am not, so that doesn’t work either.

Perhaps if I had artistic talent, like Byrne-Jones, the vagaries of my mind would be attributed to the genius within. But I don’t have such talent, so that doesn’t work at all.

I have to conclude, therefore, that I am just a slightly mad old man, wandering around in remote Beetley, with his head full of stuff that increases on an hourly basis.

That’s very disconcerting, I can assure you.

60 thoughts on “A little bit crazy”

    1. Thanks for your consideration, Pam. I have no desire to go back to London at all, for the time being. I find it rather overwhelming since I have lived in Norfolk. I even find Norwich too much, and that is a fraction of the size of London. I think I had a bad holiday weekend, and hope that it will soon pass. 🙂
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  8. AS an old fart…I can say ‘me too’…..I am thankful for a head for diplomacy and its effects….keeps the stranger things from entering into my mind….the PC is my friend…..LOL chuq

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  10. Pete, I find that age makes us a bit nostalgic which is okay if we are not swirling in a soup of regret. I have learned that we all have thoughts that do not necessarily serve us. I have learned to see them, acknowledge their presence and let them pass. There was a time I gave them a bigger life than they deserved.

    I have never once thought of you as anything other than thoughtful and extremely sharp. I know sometimes I get in a bit of a rut in my thinking. That’s my signal to switch things up a bit — give myself some new fodder.

    Hope you find your way out of the mire.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. No, you are not a mad old man. You are a man who is a thinker. And a writer. And you are at the age when the past seems poignant and the future seems scary and interesting.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  12. I find myself doing the same things, Pete. I get extra exercise by having to retrace my steps after forgetting what I went into the other room for. Always trying to think and plan too many things at once, is my problem.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  13. Pete, did you notice this becoming more pronounced once retired? I wonder if the job kept your mind racing in one certain direction, and now it has the entire roadway to go anywhere it wants!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. I haven’t known you for long, Pete, but admire the honesty with which you write and share your feelings. I don’t think you should look upon this as the musings of senility–perhaps you are just thinking aloud many of the same things that others keep locked away.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks, Pete. I have always been quite good at articulating what some people keep locked away. But just lately, there is a bit too much of that for comfort. 🙂
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Like

      Reply

  19. You have articulated some of the more, shall we say, reasonable, reasons to find a talk person. I reference my comments on my blog the other day. I could not have said it better myself. See if they have talk people who will walk with you and Ollie. Best Wishes and warmest regards, Theo

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

All comments welcome

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.